To be fed up of AMA high earner threads where the poster is not actually the high earner?

[Evilcountspatula]

Please can we hear from a female (single, married, with kids, whatever) who earns enormous sums rather than someone who has married a rich husband. No jealousy, I’d have loved to have married a rich husband myself, but genuinely interested to have a thread from a woman at the top of the money earning tree. Is that too much to ask?
edited for typos

@FusionChefGeoff My DH is in that category but I’m afraid our answers would be incredibly boring, that’s how you can tell the AMA ones are nonsense 😂

I saw what divorce did to my mum financially (who was forced to give up work when she got married, and had left school with no qualifications) and was determined that I would never be reliant on a man for money.

That drove me to prioritise my career from an early stage and through a decent amount of luck and some hard work I’ve always earned more than DH. Mostly I have made what have been, with hindsight, good career choices that have led me to a highly paid role.

When childcare became an issue, it was DH who took a step back for over a decade for the same reasons many women do - he was the lower earner and it made no sense for it to be me. He’s now back in a reasonably well paid role.

Whether it is societal conditioning or maternal instinct or something else, many women simply don’t prioritise their career while men do. Women go part time and take responsibility for nursery drop off/pick ups while their DH changes nothing (or from watching men I’ve worked with, start working longer hours to avoid being at home for bedtime!). DH and I both worked 4 day weeks before he stepped back, and he worked from home so was on drop off duty. There’s nothing wrong with women doing that, but it shouldn’t surprise anyone when they then earn less, have less in their pension etc.

But the real problem is, I think, the idea that having two adults out of the house all day is a recipe for happiness once kids come along. It isn’t, even now my kids are teens family life is easier because I’m fully remote - if I had to commute each day like before Covid then DH likely wouldn’t have gone back to work. Someone usually has to take a step back, and it would be great if more men did it, but they would suffer the same penalty women currently do.

I am now a single mum but have always been the higher earner and DP earned around half of what I do.
( 3 children ) I have been called out many times on mumsnet because it must not be true.
I have never understood why people don’t believe a woman is genuine If they earn good money.

Then don't read those threads, surely? I find those threads interesting, much as I find plenty of other threads interesting that I'm sure others don't. I just scroll past threads I have no interest in reading.

Yep you’ve probably nailed it 😂

The difficult thing is wanting to be with your child. I took an unusual route in being self-employed, so I reduce hours and do fewer in holidays, because I want to see DS. Not exactly only possible because DH does 95% drop-offs, any short notice pick-up and evening when I'm suddenly needed in the office - and lower earning accordingly. Not exactly only possible because at school now his breakfast club and after school club options are pretty good. Actually, I would say it is only possible because my hourly rate is enough to mean we can take each hit. I have a couple of colleague friends who have done similar, it is just switching DH for DW in someone giving up a bit. There are some others who did nannies for a few years but got annoyed by it and wanted to be back with their kids more so went part time. Any option at all is a compromise somewhere really with little ones, higher rate just changes the options you have for where you place the choice.

self-absorbed wankerdom.

This is my new bestest phrase ever!

And @pinkdelight - 💯 agree - I steer well clear of these posts