Why don't people just stop drinking?

[PassingStranger]

Just read two crimes that were caused by alcohol.
One a speeding drunk driver, took a car and smashed Into another car on the road killing people.

Did they really think they were going to be able to negotiate the roads properly while drunk and speeding?

Another one a vile bully of a man attacked and killed his wife while he'd been drinking and she died.😱
Now two children have been left without their mum and dads in prison.
I'm sure we can all think of other crimes where drink was involved.

When are people going to stop?
Why do they need to drink all the time (sake).🙄

No one thinks that the misery caused by drinking is acceptable.

People are pointing out that it's not just as simple as making a decision to stop because addiction is not a choice.

That does not mean that people don't have a right to feel furious at the devastation addicts cause.

This!

Why do they think it will never happen to me.

If you drive and speed and you've been drinking the chances are you are going to have an accident?

Usually they also kill other people while they survive.

Arrogance.

I wont get caught. It's not far. Roads are quiet. I'm a really good driver so I'll be fine. Why shouldn't I have a drink. It's only a few pints. Its friday. I'm angry and i need to calm down.

I watched something on BBC, Crash Scene Investigators, something like that, and the drink drivers were all arrogant. Drunk and driving drunk mates around, pub after work, loads were drinking whilst driving, sipping from wine bottles and cans on the motorway. It was very eye opening and it put me off driving for a while.

People do things when blind drunk that are appalling and horrify them when sober. I did and I was a whisker away from losing everything good in my life, my marriage, home, job… I was a full blown alcoholic but this last drunk occasion was the wake up call I needed. There were to be no second chances. My husband stayed with me on the proviso that I never again had an alcoholic drink and that was 8 years ago.

It is an addiction but it is entirely possible for a person to stop. It’s hard, I went through weeks of feeling like utter shit but I valued my life and family more than alcohol so it was a no brainer. I’ve never looked back and my life is completely different without alcohol. Im just sad that I wasted 15 years drinking myself stupid and behaving like a twat and hurting the people I love before I finally broke free. It’s fucking poison.

Trouble is, it's normalised. Alcohol is seen differently to other drugs. Especially the mothers needing drink thing.

A lot of the time it's the habit that's the problem, a deliberate bad choice, rather than alcoholism. An alcoholic can drink at home. There is no excuse for driving to a pub after work and drinking before driving home.

I hate the drinking culture in the UK - I have always been treated differently because I chose not to drink alcohol - I can still enjoy myself without alcohol - but apparently I am boring ?

Jeez OP, you are staggeringly naive, at best

Wow @PassingStranger i wish I had such a binary and simplistic way of thinking. My life would be a lot easier.
You claim to be coming from a place of humanity (oh how terrible that these poor kids have been left without a mother) yet in reality it’s just the simplistic and judgemental viewpoint of a teenager with no nuance or actual humanity. This is actually the most depressingly silly (stupid) post I’ve seen on mumsnet in about 15 years. Well done.

I wish it were this simple.

IME alcohol is too readily used as an excuse. Most people who intentionally seriously hurt someone when drunk (e.g. abusers) are the kind of people who think it's ok to hurt others anyway. They just hide it better or control it more easily when sober. Most people who drink drive choose to do so long before they become over the limit.

All alcohol does is lower inhibitions. With some rare exceptions it doesn't fundamentally alter personality or moral code.

It is normalised.

Friday drinks, needing a glass of wine to wind down. A drink to celebrate, commiserate, to bring out the flavour in food.

People that drink a few times a week tend not to think they have a problem until they stop for a few months and realise how bad their sleep was or how much they looked forward to those drinks and built habits around them.

I'm not saying they are alcoholics. But i agree that the idea of regular drinking is normalised. Because people like their habits.

I read on here that any alcohol is a poison and weekly unit limits are not a measure of safety but an indicator on damage limitation and it resonated.

I'm not a big drinker since my teens and glad I never got into the weekly drink cycle. I like my bed, book and early night! I dont really like the fuzzy buzz any more.

Addictions to smoking and drinking are worlds apart.

You wont have dangerous withdrawal if you stop smoking suddenly. Smoking a cigarette is not so mood altering that it can cause you to act out of character. Smoking does not mask mental health issues. There are no products in supermarkets to help someone stop drinking.

In supermarkets, tobacco products are behind a counter and a screen. Booze is just dotted about everywhere. During Covid, my local big Tesco forced people to queue in the alcohol aisle.

A lot of the alcoholics I know drink to deal with MH or trauma. They often do the whole rehab thing, and end up drinking again eventually.

This. So overly simplistic 🙄

Alcohol addiction is so severe that in some cases, stopping drinking can actually kill you. This thread is incredibly ignorant and the idea that people just need 'willpower' is horrible naiive and rather offensive.

No your the sensible one.

I have been sober nearly 21years.Does the OP think people want to be alcoholic? When asked at school what a child wants to be when they grow up,do you think some of them say,oh I want to be an alcoholic?

You sound a bit thick to be honest @PassingStranger,go and do some research on addiction and stop posting shite.

'It's not impossible to give up addictions, when it comes to the point your addiction is ruining your life and others it definitely is time to give up.
I'm sure alcohol plays a part in alot of horrible things.'

Does light bend round you?

Do you have any insight into addictions?

Do you actually understand the definition of 'addiction?'

Because I love wine.

@PassingStranger

You think it's OK then to cause such misery and devastation then to others lives just because you want to get drunk?

Want to get drunk?

OP, you don't understand what alcoholism is. You think you do, but you don't. I've lost a loved one to alcoholism. You simply don't know what you're talking about and your post is naive in the extreme. Like a schoolchild's understanding of a very complex issue.

I sincerely hope you find out more about alcoholism and addiction so that you can understand it better.

There is no excuse for drunk driving, but you would do well to learn more about how alcoholics suffer. Louis Theroux made a good documentary about the subject if you're interested.

I understand it's an addiction and that some men are just violent anyway but I don't really get why people drink and drive. Do they think they aren't affected even though everyone else is? Or is it when they are so far gone they think the rules are stupid/they no longer care if they hurt someone?

This in spades . I have friend who I even went on holiday with for a week. She never drank alcohol in front of me . I was chucking the wines down my neck in the evenings and never realised that every time she went to the loo frequently, she was drinking .
it is a horrible way to live and these people do not drink and drive,they avoid driving!
Friend hasn’t driven for years because she has a painful elbow!
Rather that ,than the idiots who go out ,get pissed and drive home because they think they can !

The people in the OPs initial aren’t alcoholics. Being drunk and a twat doesn’t make you an alcoholic. Being drunk and breaking the law doesn’t make you an alcoholic. These are just arseholes who choose to get drunk and then choose to do evil and stupid things whilst drunk and refuse to take any responsibility for it. They do not deserve any sympathy and they do not deserve to be medicalised as having an addiction.

It’s not an addiction. It is breathtaking arrogance. I attended an incident many years ago where one such scumbag killed two teenage girls and seriously injured a third. Of course he was fine. He was laughing and joking on scene whilst the bodies of the two girls lay in some poor persons front garden. That’s just one of the ones I’ve unfortunately had to attend. There are many more. Drink and drug drivers make me sick.

Or, the violent, drunk attackers should just calm down. Aggression is never the solution.