To be in this job and feel poor?

[fedippp]

I trained for seven years, reasonably large student loan etc, to end up age 35 on 58k, and barely anything left at the end of the month!!! Mortgage is 1300 for a 2 bed semi, (up from 800 last year). Student loans are still hundreds a month. I have a car on finance as I couldn’t save house deposit and car deposit, need car for work. I eat beans on toast 3 nights a week. I feel like an idiot. I missed out on so much in my twenties to get into a decent job that I thought paid well and it seems to have been a waste of time! Does anyone else feel this way? I feel so disheartened.

There’s a old saying

”Comparison is the thief of joy”

I am the same age, on the same money and have 2 kids in childcare and still manage a couple of holidays a year and regular nice days out.

How do you struggle so much?

I feel you. My wife and I have a combined income over £200k pre tax and we are still having to cut back massively on anything you might consider a luxury.

you either accept the way it is or change something.

we have sold our new car and got a 10 year old discovery paid outright.

may sell house and go somewhere cheaper.

pushing hard for pay increase at work

you should be more comfortable but the world has happened

roll with the punches

It is hard when you feel under money pressure. Getting a lodger is not a failing, it's a sensible action to ease finances at this point - and you don't have to do it forever. Try it for a while and see if the balance works for you.

Plus this is not it forever. It's not unusual for you to have a couple of years of real money struggling. I am just coming out the other side of my own and am nearly a decade older than you but feel very future positive now.

Go on the job boards here to see if there is something you can do with your job role that pays better or has more progression. My new lease of financial life has come from leaving the charity sector for corporate and a 20% pay rise plus an excellent work life balance. I really didn't believe it was possible for me but they need my skills.

It's ok to feel down and upset about it but also start putting that energy into looking for the changes that will help you. Aibu is not the right board for that as people enjoy sticking the boot in but I think other boards will help you look more widely.

Guessing your mortgage is not £1,300 otherwise I can't see how the sums add up

I would second a lodger if you would be comfortable with that. That sounds expensive for mortgage I take it your in a area of high prices. You could extend your term if possible to make month to month better but overpay when you can?

I know you don’t want to get a lodger but at least that’s an option for you. You could look at other ways of letting it out like long stay Airbnb or theatre digs. is owning a 2 bed house worth all the scrimping and saving? Do you have a partner you might live with eventually?

Honestly OP, it sounds like you were having a bit of a pity party. We all do it, but there comes a time when you have to pull your boots back on and get on with it.

Your energy bills are massive for your property and solo living. I used to have similarly high bills when I lived alone and, mostly, it's because I was wasteful with it. I started to focus on when and where energy was being used and started to be stricter with myself and they dropped by more than 50%. Look at that - especially with summer coming.

Look at better energy deals and don't be afriad to swap. e.g. if you are not with Octopus now you can switch and get a free £50 for doing so, by using someone's referral link (e.g mine: https://share.octopus.energy/glad-seal-912)

Take a realistic look at your car finance. It's nice to have a nice car but it is even nicer to have an OK car that is already paid for. Look at whether or not you are over paying for something shiny and new(er) rather than considering a car that's a few years old and will be much cheaper for you.

I've paid student loans back at a similar rate to you. It's hard while you do it, but it does tend to mean they are paid back sooner - look at when yours might be ready to end. It might give you some light at the end of the tunnel and suddenly, it's like a £££ pay rise when you no longer have to pay it.

Let go of any expectation of a certain lifestyle you might have had. For many of us, this expectation was forged during a different time when credit was cheap and people used it to fund more luxurious lifestyles than are possible now inflation has chipped away at money value and debt costs. It's just the time we are all living in. It may change again before we all go.

It actually is around that! Admittedly I do have a husband though so the cost is not entirely down to me but still failing to see how the OP struggles so much on £58k with just herself to pay for.

I do think a 2 bed semi was a bit much for a starter home, to live alone.

But maybe as others have said a lodger or short term airbnb, for the room so its less permanent.

OK but that's the thing, one earner on £58k with student loan repayment will take home £3,390.28 ignoring pension contributions. If they have children they'll also have to pay back 80% of any child benefit they get, although that will change in April.

Two earners on £29k (not saying that's what you and your husband earn, I don't know) will take home £3,986 because of the way tax brackets and student loan payments work and also will get to keep 100% of Child Benefit.

So in that scenario the couple are taking home £596 more a month plus keeping Child Benefit if they get it. That would make a big difference to disposable income.

Single earners get shafted pretty badly, her best bet is to have someone move in with her, lodgers or a friend or whatever.

I think the OP has normal student loans as well as a bank loan for postgrad studies which is why I asked if she was a lawyer because I had to take out a professional studies loan for my postgrad law course and the repayments were brutal. So she has that coming out of her account, as well as the normal student loan and then her car finance and a big mortgage. I can understand that she is feeling squeezed. I earn a little bit less but have repaid my student loan, have no car finance and my mortgage is still around 900 as I fixed before the rates went crazy. I don't feel particularly wealthy though. I have a partner but we don't live together so no financial help.

OP if you don't want a lodger, how about airbnb-ing your spare room? That way, whoever you host won't be there for long and you can block out days. Alternatively, maybe a Monday-Friday lodger.

No one's saying its right. Its not. OPs salary should afford her comfort, I'm same age as her and its what we were brought up to believe, strive for a salary north of 50k and you've made it.

But, facts are facts and right now due to various government ineptitudes and world events, as well as artificially low credit giving a false impression of affordability for too long, and now that party ending - money doesn't go nearly as far as it did.

OP needs to cut her cloth accordingly.

She is struggling to cut her cloth because she cannot budget.

To say she is poor is disingenuous, and thats what is getting peoples backs up.

@Janch13 … you have someone else contributing 🤦‍♀️ It is not remotely comparable.

Did you see that her mortgage has just gone up by £500 per month?

Janch13 · Today 10:00

It actually is around that! Admittedly I do have a husband though so the cost is not entirely down to me

🙄

I also think it can be overwhelming and very stressful when you are the sole wager. If the shit hits the fan and you have a partner you can make decisions together and have emotional support as well.

yes, I also have 2 kids in childcare which the OP doesn’t.

When I commented I was making a comparison to my own salary, not my household income.

We have the highest tax burden in 70 years. All sorts of people are paying 40% tax who never used to be in that bracket. Child benefit has been stripped of many too. Labour and the Tory are very very high spending huge state parties so the voters have no choice either over this. Trained for 7 years probably means law, medicine, dentistry, architecture. if that is so then in those professions there is a lot of scope to earn huge amounts more in due course. I set up on my own as a lawyer and that worked well. My doctor sibling earns a fair bit and does a lot of court work as well as patients (as did my father - also a doctor and he lectured too and had private patients)

If you tell us the profession or career we might be able to help you earn extra money within it with some ideas. Sometimes you need to move to. My twins are 10 years younger than you are and qualified as solicitors earlier this year in London. Sometimes the location determines the pay. Good luck.

Are you an architect, OP?
I have a close friend in this position and she's moving into construction (contractor-side architecture) as it pays so much better.

There's been a huge surge of threads like these and they are always full of people saying "cut your cloth and stop moaning". Yes, OP has a decent salary which she has worked hard for. She's not on the poverty line and can afford a mortgage etc. but that's almost slightly beside the point. She shouldn't have to sit down and budget to the penny (although budgeting is always a good idea). I feel like our entire generation has been let down so badly. At late 30s, it's absolutely reasonable to have a mortgage on a small semi, nice car and few fancy things at that salary. She shouldn't have to watch what she buys at the supermarket, just like a couple earning 25K each should not have to visit a food bank (a couple I know). My parents emigrated and as immigrants, were able to buy a house - yes, we were poor at the start, but by the time I was in my teens our situation improved massively and we lived very well as a family of 5 on two reasonably low incomes. That's completely unattainable now. The bickering between people in this (often roughly similar) income bracket just feels like it is distracting us from the core issues contributing to everyone's poor financial situations.

Yeah but how much does your DH earn? I can’t see any remote comparison where you are part of a dual earner couple and are on 58k. Your household income is likely to be far higher than the OPs. Also, while you have childcare, all other outgoings will be split so not comparable.

If OP earns 3,300 net and has let’s say:
500 increased mortgage payment from normal
350 car finance
350 bank loan repayments

Thats loads in extra payments/debts! I’d be struggling too. My outgoings and that is with hardly any socialising, buying clothes, or whatever and no loans or car finance and a modest food and petrol budget comes to at least 1,800 per month. About half of that is mortgage and then council tax, internet, gas, electric, water, car insurance, home insurance and mobile phone. If my outgoings suddenly were increased by the above, I’d basically just have enough to cover basics. No money left for savings or holidays.

God I had to actual create an account, I can’t believe the lack of compassion.

Glad to see you got a bit more sympathy towards then end though.

I feel in the same boat, like I never have enough money. Although I have a partner, so can only imagine how stretched you feel. I am always in my overdraft by the end of the month etc.

The “helpful” solutions are sort of missing the point a bit, you should be able to live comfortably. People on much less should be able to live comfortably as well! I hate the way this turns into a them and us situation.

We live in a developed country, there is enough money to go around for everyone. Its sad how companies are allowed to exploit, it should be criminal to have profits like they do for essential services whilst forcing people into hardship :(

You’re doing really well x

I think this race to the bottom/gratitude narrative is all well and good and yes, we should all be grateful for what we have, but I think the point the OP is making is that she’s worked hard, sacrificed and ‘done everything right’ in order to have a comfortable professional career and the expected lifestyle that affords and still doesn’t have it. I understand that resentment, I feel it too.

The Tory narrative is working well.
Expect the minimum, don't hope for better and give anyone a kicking who expects more.

One of my kids is in this trap, slogged her guts out at school and uni when others partied, she chose unpaid/low paid internships to get experience. Saddled with debt, massive commuting costs, stuck in a bloody awful house share and depressed, her friends who put in less effort are better off, have met partners even had kids, stayed in our low cost area. They earn less, work less hours yet have such better lives. They would say she's got loads of money, compared to them.
She has quit and moved home for a while to get her health together and regroup.
You don't put in all that effort and expect to account for every penny.

Absolutely this!