What do you honestly do all day…

[Thechatteringofthebirds]

If your a Sahm with dc at school?

Not a bashing thread, as this is sort of me and curious what others do

My Dd has just started school full time, so those days of being together all day, play date meet ups during the week daytime, days out etc are now gone 😩
I do work, but only two evenings per week and one weekend morning at the moment.
On a day of the week I plan for the times I teach, aside from that, I drop off, walk my dog, some tidying and washing (have a cleaner every fortnight) watch tv, read…then pick Dd up, go to the beach, walks, do her reading, dinner, bath, school things etc. What else do you do?
In September I’ll pick up more days and hours, but for these last few months I want to make sure I make the most of it.
What do you do or would do if you could?

Most days I catch up on sleep. Some times I go food shopping or go for lunch.
Always do some tidying up or decorating. My kids don't sleep through the night though at 8! So I'm normally shattered. I waste my days tbh. I thrive In a routine but too tired to get into one.

Because last time you questioned me on this subject you were very concerned about the gender stereotypes I must be teaching my child by living off a man… then you said that that was ok because I’m a lesbian.

Oh lord 😳

😂

@Notlikeamother No, I don't think it's OK. I don't care whether you're straight or gay; I don't think it's OK to basically do what you like which you state yourself isn't much whilst your partner works her butt off at work all day every day.

But why? If the partner is happy then why does it bother you?

@thaegumathteth I guess if she's happy with her partner being lazy - genuinely happy - then fair enough. Find it odd though.

😬

Not your relationship, not your problem.
having a SAHP means the working parent doesn’t ever have to worry about childcare, or childcare costs, or who will manage things if the child can’t go to school for a long period, or needs to be home educated. That’s not a small thing. One of my biggest headaches and stresses as a single working parent is no one else to take the strain when the usual open goes awry. I would have loved a SAHP just for that reason.

@TheOriginalEmu Not sure this justifies a partner doing pretty much naff all the rest of the time though?

Ok. Luckily we don’t need to consider your opinion, we do what makes us happy.

I’m sure she would find you odd too.

@AIBUrandom Why does your DH need help and support to be a decent father?

I work 3 days a week 9-5 and in September I'll change to 9.30-5 with a shorter break so I can still drop DS off every morning (he really struggles with drop offs and always has, but does better with consistency)

On the 2 days I'll be at home while he's at school I'll clean, tidy, prep meals, do the food shop. Check in on my parents and walk my brother's dogs while he's at work. Do any admin like renewing things, forms for DS, appointments or whatever. Hopefully meet friends sometimes.

Pick up DS from school and he can go to the park, have a bath, watch some telly or whatever before tea.

@WithACatLikeTread we had periods when I worked away so we've both experienced being the immediate child centred parent.
Sometimes there's an observation of 'he's doing it his way, let them get on' but sometimes it's just sad & selfish when a 5 & 7 year old are hungry, it later than normal and dad has decided to mow the lawn and then tells them off for eating biscuits. In his head, the kids had a nice lawn to play on and he wasn't hungry.
DH never got the whole kids like routine bit, they want to be on time or early for stuff not rushing out the door being told to borrow kit.
I feel sad that my career mostly took the hit to raise kids but I was wading through treacle in a male industry and couldn't fight on all fronts.
My mum is disgusted, she was power suited in the 80s, so much stress for a company that doesn't even exist anymore. So I grew up with two full on working parents, meaning I cooked tea and did chores to facilitate that whilst younger Goldenballed brother just drifted along.

As I said. Not your relationship, not your problem.

I just can’t understand peole who have the great gift of time and can’t think how to fill it. How is it possible to be so uninterested in life?

What are your passions and interests OP? What makes you feel alive? What have you always wanted to know or learn how to do? What are you curious about.

Do that.

If you genuinely don’t know the answers to those questions I suggest you spend a lot of time trying stuff or reading stuff till you do find your thing.

I’d get majority of the housework done by 9.30 am as I was always on top of it. Went to my spa three days a week and met up with friends, my adult DC for lunch, shopping, cinema on the other days.

Make dinner around 5pm, take DC to clubs around 4 evenings per week.

I went on holiday nearly every school holiday so would prep for that. On the school holidays we weren’t away I’d do day trips such as to the coast or theme parks every other day and see friends in a park with a picnic/coffee or chill the other days.

On weekends we’d do days and meals out.

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I really hope someone puts a link to this thread next time there's one about how SAHM work harder than anyone else.

Yes I'm judging because I see the stress on my colleagues faces who,have to work long shifts in a hospital and then go home to do it all again with their kids.

Posts like this just smack of bitterness and jealousy. It’s not a good look. Why do you care how other people live their lives if that’s what works for them?

I am full of admiration for my friends who work but I also used to think in some ways they have it easier going off to their job and leaving their dcs to be looked after by someone else all day. They also have dhs who do 50:50 of the housework/life admin.

Why do you think that bc your friends are struggling everyone else should too?

It’s not a race to the bottom you know?

Posts like this just smack of bitterness and jealousy. It’s not a good look

Bitterness and jealousy are the usual lazy arguments played out on here when someone dares to criticise or judge - and I actually don't judge the people who admit that it's all a doss and they can have an easy life....just the ones who think they work harder than people actually at work.

Being a SAHM looking after babies and toddlers all day is incredibly hard work. If the children go off to school / nursery and your days are free then it's very different.

What does your colleagues working have to do with people not working?

@Shetlands Absolutely this. A SAHP with kids with them all day every day is nowhere near the same as a person who stays at home all day whilst their kids are at school!