What do you honestly do all day…

[Thechatteringofthebirds]

If your a Sahm with dc at school?

Not a bashing thread, as this is sort of me and curious what others do

My Dd has just started school full time, so those days of being together all day, play date meet ups during the week daytime, days out etc are now gone 😩
I do work, but only two evenings per week and one weekend morning at the moment.
On a day of the week I plan for the times I teach, aside from that, I drop off, walk my dog, some tidying and washing (have a cleaner every fortnight) watch tv, read…then pick Dd up, go to the beach, walks, do her reading, dinner, bath, school things etc. What else do you do?
In September I’ll pick up more days and hours, but for these last few months I want to make sure I make the most of it.
What do you do or would do if you could?

Used to be a SAHM and am now about to take early retirement. I know from my years as a SAHM that I have no trouble filling my days. In retirement I am going to: do loads of gardening (actually a chore for me but it needs doing as I have not been on top of it for years).
Do housework, obviously.
Spend more time on food prep so I can eat as healthily as I can.
Focus on more exercise: either a walk or a cycle ride or start C25K (again!)

Do my hobbies more. I have loads if crafts I enjoy, and an Etsy shop. I want to focus on that some more.
I'm not very sociable but if I were I would plan a few more coffee mornings.
I might do some adult education. I've enjoyed that in the past.
Maybe join a choir.
I'm intending writing a book. Just to self publish, not intended for sale.

When dh retires, we will visit more NT places, go on longer hikes, maybe take up a bit of animal husbandry.

I can never understand.how people cannot find things to do to occupy themselves.

Forget that. Often I’m on the sofa watching crap, covered in dogs and cats and he makes me a drink because I can’t get up. 😂

Wfh has been a bitch 😀

My dh never says anything to me but what really irritates me is when I'm downstairs and busy cleaning and doing housework....as soon as I sit down, he comes downstairs

When this happens, I use distraction and ask him how his day is going and he'll proceed to tell me. Or talk about food! Both work exceptionally well!

There are literally hundreds of things you could do. Use your imagination :) Said with a smile. The best thing to do is what you come up with yourself.

If I were in your best shoes, where you have this limited time of SAH then you have the summer holidays then you'll be picking up moee work I'd be quite ruthless about having a "normal" before school routine, so the laundry and dishes are done before the school run. This will give you a proper chunk of time between school runs. Plan something cool for one day each week you have left. Have your partner take a day's leave and have a day date for at least one of them (walk and a pub lunch is one I enjoy but whatever connects you). My local uni do lunchtime classical music concerts, or you could go to the cinema etc. If you have any friends who have a day off meet them for whatever you like to do together (my friend gots me a day pass to her very nice gymI) Basically style yourself as a tourist in your local area once a week (albeit with a hard stop at 3) Do things you enjoy with an upgrade. In September you'll have fewer days off and will need them for housework and cooking, so I'd put a day out of commission for that stuff now to get used to it!

@RufustheFactualReindeer Do you mean in terms of double standards?

I personally think it isn't reasonable to do
"just doss about and do whatever you fancy" (her words, not mine) whilst your partner is hard at work all day, every day. Whether that partner is a man or a woman is (or at least should be) entirely irrelevant.

Wow you’ve had a dream life by the sounds of it!

yes it should be irrelevant

but by clarifying that poster doesn’t have to bat off a load of posts talking about her as if she is a man

Im not currently working. My youngest started school in August 23. I have three kids and either illness or snow (we are very rural Scotland) I think I go about two weeks of not having a child home, or all three. Currently have dc3 home and has dc1 home last week and dc2 the week before!

Otherwise, we have a puppy who keeps me busy and we are mid renovating, at the, everything need painting stage. Then come spring, we have 2acres that need a lot doing as previous owner was unwell and let it all get overgrown.

I cook. I bake. I clean. I shop. As we are rural, it takes several hours with driving to shop.

I aim to return to working once puppy is bigger and house is painted!

When I was sahm, I studied part time with OU and gained a Masters degree which advanced my career when I eventually did go back to work. I also did some freelance work, a LOT of cooking/cleaning/knitting/sewing.Organised my time as if I was out at work , ie, 9-12 - clean house /do washing and other chores; 12-1 lunch break (watch tv/read newspaper/whatever; 1-3 study 3-4 pick up kids from school; 4-5 make evening meal; 5-6 meal-time;after 6- usual family stuff(homework/tv/clubs etc)9pm kids bedtime; 10pm chill!!

All of this for me - plus my husband and I try and capitalise on me being at home to get all our ‘jobs’ done in the working week - so we can have evenings + weekends free together. So I do quite a lot of his life admin too.

never feels too 50s housewife because we’re a team. He gets up early to walk the dogs, drops off and picks up dry cleaning, does half the morning school runs etc.

it is a huge advantage to us both for me to be at home.

I was a SAHM and home educater, now I am retired. Today I woke up late at 8.am so i have so far;

Made the bed
Cleaned the bathroom and washed the bathroom floor.
Had a cup of tea
Emptied the dishwasher
Cleaned and vacuumed kitchen
Put away stuff from yesterday eve as we were all out
Had another cup of tea
Hung the washing out
Went out for coffee and had a charity shop mooch around
Came back and had lunch
I have hens to clean out, some ironing to do, soup to make, the other bathroom to clean, some weeding to do and some charity admin to do.
This eve I will have a tv night with my family

In theory I'd like to run, gym, swim without clock watching to have to rush off for work. Cooking more, making bread, cinema, art galleries, window shopping... In reality I'd probably fritter plenty of days away with housework, reading, watching netflix and drinking coffee 😂

I'm not knocking sahms at all btw, there are far more ways to contribute to a household than purely financially, but telling people who work full or nearly full time that an extra 25 hours a week leisure time "isn't as much time as you think" is tone deaf.

In my SAHM years I used to drop kids to school and head to the gym 2-3 times a week, do all the housework jobs in school hours, all the food shopping and life admin in school hours, volunteered 1 afternoon a week at primary school, would volunteer for all school trips, meet with friends for lunch, somtimes, read, watch TV, run errands. I lived life generally at a slower pace of life and eventually got very bored. However now I work full time and have to fit in cleaning, food shopping and life admin in my weekends and eveninings I know which I would prefer if money was no object!

I agree. I do a lot of what I used to do while working and had the two dc. At least housework and such. I would whizz through it all or do it at weekends.
Being hurried and rushed really bad for the nervous system if you’ve had any sort of trauma like I have. I find what’s really helped is being able to be slow. I recognise I have the privilege to do that with a high earning husband. However, I’d give up this lifestyle and work full time if I could not have cptsd and what caused it.

Completely agree. My dh supports my not working right now. It’s what works for our family. He’s building two businesses and is very very busy. He also flys off around the country at a moments notice and sometimes to America. He likes knowing that the house and children will be taken care of. If and when I choose to go back, he will support that too. Right now, I take all house and children stress off him so he can work then spend time with us during his time off. I absolutely contribute. We are a team.

it is a huge advantage to us both for me to be at home.

Many men benefit hugely when their wives are at home doing all the childcare and housework. Women often say, ‘my husband likes me at home’ and I think, ‘well of course he does!’

Not necessarily.. some men may prefer the financial contribution over the household one. Some cheeky fuckers expect their wives to provide a financial contribution and do all the shit round the house. Some men may be happy being the sole provider.

Mostly I struggle to stay on top of keeping the house clean and tidy (it's a bit big). We also seem to get through a ton of laundry.

When I'm not working I volunteer for the kids school a bit. I work freelance some of the time.

I manage our finances and organize any projects that need doing (fixing the gutters, getting raccoons removed from inside the roof, etc).

I went to the gym and volunteered for two days a week. That left me enough time to keep the house clean and tidy along with all the other things you do when running a home.

I don't think I ever picked up a book or watched tv till they were all home and sorted for bed.

They probably want both the extra income and somebody to carry the invisible load.

I do work, but only take short term jobs, I've not worked this year.
Bit surprised at some of the leisurely answers.
Next couple of weeks I have a drain to rod and clean, garage windows to reputty, saniflo to jetwash, recementing the fireplace. Seeds to plant, garden to strim, hedges to trim and weeding. The usual washing, cleaning and cooking.
Daughter and disabled son still at home, so appointments and running him around. Need a huge declutter, it's got a bit out of hand and I've been quietly stripping all the very battered paintwork which is ongoing and other DIY stuff.

I'd like to be able to get on top of my diet, exercise more (hiking), complete some training courses, read more and just generally relax. But I don't have time.

Oh undoubtedly life is easier when 50% of family workforce is able to focus entirely on looking after everyone.

I think that is fine as long as it’s an on going conversation about ‘load’ and everyone feels supported. We feel very fortunate + are aware our lives are much less hectic than many