Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for family loan back from estate

57 replies

Valleymum2 · 20/03/2024 10:30

Mum loaned a few thousand pounds to a relative. This was built up over a few years with no attempts to repay. The relative died, and now mum has sadly passed away. Am I being unreasonable to claim the money back from the relatives estate? This may leave pretty much nothing left to the beneficiaries .

There’s very little left in the estate as the house was mortgaged and there are other debts too. The family is not well off as far as I can se but there are no dependants. The daughter has ignored the debt in the probate process and I don’t know whether to let sleeping dogs lie. I haven’t been in touch with her yet as I don’t know what to say - I was hoping they would offer to pay it back but looking very unlikely. However why should the other creditors get their money and not my mums estate

my mother gave away a lot of money to others very generously, this is a relatively small amount. However I feel she was taken advantage of and she did leave the paperwork. I think she knew the relative did not have an easy life hence hadn’t pursued it before now.

OP posts:
moonfacer · 20/03/2024 10:32

YANBU. The key word is it was a loan, with a paper trail. That shows it was never your mum's intention to gift the money.

So yes, absolutely have your mum's solicitor get in touch with the dead relative's solicitor asap.

NeedToChangeName · 20/03/2024 10:32

If eg your Mum lent £2,000 to her brother who fell on hard times and chose not to pursue him, I'd leave it

If she lent him large amounts and his estate can afford to pay, that might be different

FunLurker · 20/03/2024 10:33

What is the proof of the loan like?

changingusernamecosofthis · 20/03/2024 10:35

Surely if your mum wanted it sue would have pursued it? Also there is a statute of limitations to consider

Dacadactyl · 20/03/2024 10:36

It would depend entirely on my financial situation at the time. If i was doing OK and not in need of the money, I'd let it go. Particularly if I was in line for a decent inheritance from my mum anyway.

Did your other relative not have life insurance to pay off their mortgage?! The mind boggles.

IncompleteSenten · 20/03/2024 10:36

I would at least check with a solicitor and see whether it was possible.

Original poster
Valleymum2 · 20/03/2024 11:13

FunLurker · 20/03/2024 10:33

What is the proof of the loan like?

Concrete proof signed by the relative

OP posts:
Original poster
Valleymum2 · 20/03/2024 11:15

changingusernamecosofthis · 20/03/2024 10:35

Surely if your mum wanted it sue would have pursued it? Also there is a statute of limitations to consider

They didn’t like to take on the hassle or fall out with the relative but they kept all the info on the file and had plenty time before they died to say they didn’t want it pursued. Think she felt unsure what to do .I’ve checked with a solicitor and it is possible to claim

OP posts:
Original poster
Valleymum2 · 20/03/2024 11:16

Dacadactyl · 20/03/2024 10:36

It would depend entirely on my financial situation at the time. If i was doing OK and not in need of the money, I'd let it go. Particularly if I was in line for a decent inheritance from my mum anyway.

Did your other relative not have life insurance to pay off their mortgage?! The mind boggles.

No life insurance. The money was going to their own daughter who kept asking for handouts, as far as I can tell.

OP posts:
BlueEyesBrownHair · 20/03/2024 11:20

How much is it

Noseyoldcow · 20/03/2024 11:25

If you claim the money, it will cause bad feeling with your relatives, so it depends on how much money and how much you value your family relationships.

LeWifi · 20/03/2024 11:28

They didn’t like to take on the hassle or fall out with the relative

As your DM decided to leave it, I’d be inclined to do the same tbh. It was her money and she didn’t want it back at the cost of upset.

TraitorsGate · 20/03/2024 11:29

If it was a loan then it's a debt, how could you prove none of it was repaid or written off.

Original poster
Valleymum2 · 20/03/2024 12:03

TraitorsGate · 20/03/2024 11:29

If it was a loan then it's a debt, how could you prove none of it was repaid or written off.

Bank statements.

there is not really much of a relationship with the relatives they are quite distant, I think TBH they only used to get in touch when they were asking for money. It’s about 8k. I’m not sure that their beneficiaries will have anything left. if there are a few creditors we may only get a % so why should the other creditors have their loan paid back and not us?

OP posts:
WarshipRocinante · 20/03/2024 12:05

You are right, but it looks like your mum was happy to let it go. So, if it was me, I wouldn’t. If my mum had made the choice to let it go, I would leave them alone over it.

Bubblegum22 · 20/03/2024 12:09

It was your mums loan and if she was ok not to pursue it then I would let it go. Particularly as you say there’s not a lot left to their estate anyway.

if you’ve already asked a solicitor then it seems you want to go after it?

Minfilia · 20/03/2024 12:10

If it was in the process of being paid back (eg monthly instalments) on death then yes, I’d reclaim it.

If there was no repayment plan or agreed payment timescale, or if the relative defaulted and you chose not to pursue it when they were alive, then no I wouldn’t.

Dacadactyl · 20/03/2024 12:12

Valleymum2 · 20/03/2024 12:03

Bank statements.

there is not really much of a relationship with the relatives they are quite distant, I think TBH they only used to get in touch when they were asking for money. It’s about 8k. I’m not sure that their beneficiaries will have anything left. if there are a few creditors we may only get a % so why should the other creditors have their loan paid back and not us?

Show quote history

Because they're family and because your mum did not pursue it in life.

I would take it to mean that good family relationships were more important to her than the cash, so I'd personally write it off.

Rachie1973 · 20/03/2024 12:12

Is your inheritance from your Mum healthy?

Mumof2teens79 · 20/03/2024 12:41

You say it was ignored in probate, but how do you know the daughter even knows about it?
Maybe there is nothing at all? There certainly wasn't in my FILs estate. We paid out for all expenses.

Nosleepforthismum · 20/03/2024 13:24

I wouldn’t pursue it. Family relationships are complicated and I’ve “loaned” money to siblings that have been struggling before without any real intention of getting it back. I’d be upset if my daughter tried to claim the loan back on my death if I’d made zero effort to reclaim it myself.

BreakingAndBroke · 20/03/2024 13:30

If you have a signed contract send it to their solicitor/get your mum's solicitor to contact their solicitor. The point of probate is to make sure all debts are squared before passing on any monies.

Xiaoxiong · 20/03/2024 13:33

Ignoring the potential family fallout and what your mum did or didn't do, I'd have to balance any percentage of the loan you might receive against the hassle and annoyance of claiming, plus any solicitors fees you might incur.

If the loan was 8k and you might receive 10% of that, or 20%, would it be worth your time, energy, and legal fees...?

FrangipaniBlue · 20/03/2024 14:16

I think it friends what your mums estate is worth.

£80k then no I probably wouldn't pursue the debt.

£2k though then absolutely I would!

Coconutter24 · 20/03/2024 14:32

Your mum loaned the money to a relative and chose not to collect the loan back. It was your mums money to do as she wished with. They are both now dead so why would you try and claim the money? The money or agreement had nothing to do with you?

Swipe left for the next trending thread