To find colleagues comments a bit odd?

[chemteail]

We’re both working to get the same qualification. I’m 2 years in (have one third left) and she’s just started.

She’ll bring up her one exam constantly and tell me how difficult it is and everything you have to learn. When I did that exam 2 years ago.

She sat it yesterday and told me that you use laptops in the exam and not pen and paper. Like yes having sat 20 exams I’m well aware.

I never mention mine, she only knows how far I am because she specifically asked me. It’s just odd that she talks to me like it’s a completely new concept to me.

So she doesn’t actually want a conversation, she just wants to talk at you?

I think next time she does this just keep saying the same thing ‘Yes, I know, I passed that exam’. Bonus points if you passed with a distinction.

Ignore people calling you odd, they think #bekind means you should just accept being patronised.

I think I can see both sides of this.

She is probably just wanting her studies and exams to be acknowledged. It can be very difficult when you are in the midst of it when people just say 'oh yes, I did that'.

My DFIL used to do that. Anything I did at work, he had done. It often felt like he was belittling my achievements.

From @chemteail 's perspective perhaps the colleague's comments feel like she (the colleague) is belittling her achievements.

I'm an accountant and been qualified since before the last ice-age. I get to work with a lot of trainees. So I empathise, encourage, sympathise, celebrate. Study along side of work is hard. I try to keep in mind that someone else's efforts and achievements don't diminish mine.

She sat it yesterday and told me that you use laptops in the exam and not pen and paper. Like yes having sat 20 exams I’m well aware.

Actually this is making me wonder whether there is an age difference and the colleague is implying that the OP sat the exam years and years ago and must have used pencil and paper, and the colleague considers herself part of a different generation? This might cause offence.

Or as someone suggested, could she be implying the OP never really sat the test?

My DFIL used to do that. Anything I did at work, he had done. It often felt like he was belittling my achievements. From @chemteail 's perspective perhaps the colleague's comments feel like she (the colleague) is belittling her achievements.

why, because he did it too?

You sound awful and I can't work out why she would even want to talk to you.

Massive superiority complex you have there.

Do you get the feeling from her she is trying to sound further ahead than you? Is she trying to put you in your place, do you think?

Sorry OP but you sound a bit grim to work with. Poor girls probably just trying to have a bit of conversation about something you have in common. You sound like you think she’s below you because you’re further in than she is. I’d say politely get over yourself lol.

That was the weird thing, DFIL hadnt necessarily done the things he said he had done or had only touched on them. If ever I said what I had done at work he would always reply with 'oh yes, I've done all that'. It didnt matter what it was, he had always 'done all that'. He couldnt accept other people having more experience than him (especially a woman).

@chemteailI dont get why people on this thread think its you thats being weird. Its definitely her not you. And to accuse you of not having empathy and maybe you have difficulties socially........ is just silly and a massive over reach.
Id just say something like "yeah I remember how tricky I found the first couple but Ive done 12 more since. If you want any tips let me know!"

I have noticed that it is not uncommon for people to assume that women aren't qualified in their roles. That they may have done a basic qualification but are really just office administrators.

That assumption being made by women as well as men.

You sound jealous but I can’t work out why you would be if ‘you’ve already done it’ .

I work with someone who is doing the same uni course I did about 10 years ago.

They often talk or vent to about the course and I am sympathetic and try and give as best advice as I can.

Its the same reason why mentors exist in certain places, who are people who’ve done the same thing previously and can be a person to come to for support or just a chat.

I don’t understand why you’re being so weird about this.

Are you sure she's trying to be informative? If so, I'm assuming you've told her you know because you did it and therefore she is being very odd for continuing. I can't imagine anyone would unless they had hearing difficulties and hadn't grasped that you have told them you already know all this info she is kindly giving you the heads up about. Surely you'd be like 'ah you've got me mixed up again, Jan. Thanks for the heads up but I've completed those exams already'??

OR you are being the weird one for missing normal conversation cues.

Or maybe she is further along in her exams than you previously thought and are the mistaken one? Someone's being weird I just can't decide who 😂

I don’t think the OP sounds jealous at all, she sounds bored and irritated. She doesn’t see why her time is being wasted by this colleague who is not interested in OP’s experience and (from OP’s perspective) offers nothing of value. Not everyone wants to do all the emotional toil at work to help out those who are needy in some way (and many women at work would do better if they did a lot less).

Exactly this, talking at you, not hearing what you are saying, not listening to the fact you have done the exam, It is disrespectful and boring. Keep repeating 'I know this - I did do this exam you know'. So many not able to pick up on the subtleties of why this is highly annoying. She is not trying to engage you, you are not odd, she is just another boring completely self-involved person.

She is not trying to engage you, you are not odd, she is just another boring completely self-involved person.

💯

Well said.

Fantasist alert!!

You sound like a bit of a dick to be honest, she’s just talking about it because it’s common ground you have and she’s probably just wanting to have a bit of a vent to someone also studying the same course about how hard it is.

also is she older than you? I’ve never sat an exam using a computer - this is probably interesting to her. You don’t have to be a smart ass about it

She is just trying to talk to you. Make conversation.

I think it’s the other way around, colleague is older and doesn’t realise it’s common to use laptops for exams now. So she’s exclaiming how interesting it is

If you only speak with people in the exact same course at the exact same stage, then you are really limiting yourself. I think she is just trying to be friends, opening up a conversation with you.

Is your colleague much younger than you OP? Have you ‘bettered yourself by 70%’ and are now annoyed that your much younger colleague is already doing the same so your course isn’t as special as you thought it was?

I’m surprised that you work in communication because your posts on this thread are coming across as very very odd and not very likeable.

To me it sounds like she is looking for a mentor rather than a peer to chat to and is stating obvious things such as 'you need a laptop' to perhaps kickstart a conversation about any other slightly unexpected things she may experience during the exams or course.

It sounds like your doing well in your job. Maybe she respects that and wants you to pep her up occasionally? Something along the lines of 'yes, the exams can be challenging but you've clearly been putting in the work. I really hope it pays off for you.'

She just trying to make conversation

So why not ask one of your many friends about your colleague, rather than post and shoot down the replies?