To find colleagues comments a bit odd?

[chemteail]

We’re both working to get the same qualification. I’m 2 years in (have one third left) and she’s just started.

She’ll bring up her one exam constantly and tell me how difficult it is and everything you have to learn. When I did that exam 2 years ago.

She sat it yesterday and told me that you use laptops in the exam and not pen and paper. Like yes having sat 20 exams I’m well aware.

I never mention mine, she only knows how far I am because she specifically asked me. It’s just odd that she talks to me like it’s a completely new concept to me.

Her conversation sounds perfectly normal. You are coming across as odder and odder with every post. I hope you have convinced yourself that you are fabulous though. 🙄

She is talking about her experience right now.

She can't project into the future to understand your experience because she hasn't lived it yet.

My dad used to do this. He would, for example tell me in great detail about a film he had seen and if I said I had seen it as well he would just carry on describing the plot, cast, scenery etc. like I was just a listening post rather than a conversation partner.

If you know that someone else has experienced the same as you, you change what you say about the experience to include them, eg by asking ‘how was it for you?’ rather than just carrying on as if you are sharing new information

I think quite often people who have difficulty communicating also don’t realise they have difficulty communicating. Your confusion over this incident, combined with the need to post about it, along with the tone of your posts and responses to others, would indicate some kind of communication difficulty.

Have you tried a semi grey rock technique, e.g. saying "Yes, I remember" every time she has a moan or tells you something you already know?

Also, business communication skills and social communication skills are very different.

I did my GCSEs 25 years ago. Subsequently I've done A'levels, degree, masters, professional qualifications. I cam still remember what it's like to do the GCSEs and happily listen to my friend's daughter offload about all the coursework she's doing and the exams she has coming up. For her it's the first time, and it's a big thing in her life. Maybe your colleague is the same e.g. she's telling you about the laptop because it was unusual to her and she thinks you can relate.

You're strange op.

She`s just making small talk for the sounds of it not odd at all.

Mmmn, as you don't even understand the analogy I offered I think it's safe to say that you do have some problems with normal social communication.

Having said that, I imagine it's pretty obvious in real life too so she' probably trying to break through and find common ground but she'll figure it out eventually.

you couldn’t be as good at communicating as you think you are- well certainly not written communication anyway. You come across as unfriendly and cold

I've had something similar OP. I'm self employed but was helping a friend out working with her for the odd day here and there. She said to me on more than one occasion that I should really consider doing x qualification, it would really help my career etc. Thing is, I'd done the course years before her, and had told her that on several occasions. I think it made her feel good to see me as somehow less qualified than her.

I reckon your colleague thinks you haven't done the exams. Shows total lack of respect.

This.

I mean, she sounds mildly annoying on this issue, OP, but it doesn’t seem to have occurred to you that communication has a large phatic component, not just an informative one.

Could you just be nice to her and chat to her about it?

Have you not thought that maybe although it’s not new to you, it is to her? Perhaps the last time she took an exam was at school or college, when it would have been pen and paper. And it can be a bit of a shock to the system if you start studying again after a long gap. She probably is trying very hard to bond with you over something…anything, but being rebuffed all the time. How about “Yes, it’s really different to when we were at school/college” “Yes, I remember how difficult it was to get back into studying. It gets easier!” Surely you can think of something nice to say to her, if a large part of your job is communication based?

Conversation would be very dull (for other people, anyway) if you could only discuss things currently relevant to your own life and purely from your own perspective. If you don’t want to talk to this person for some reason, that’s your prerogative, I guess, but it doesn’t reflect very well on you. Your posts are quite ‘snippy’. I hope you’re not like that with her.

Your job is communication? Is it written communication? I feel like perhaps you’d be very efficient at getting to the point.

Are you very young?

Im struggling to think of an industry around communication that requires 27 exams to get a qualification.

Maybe she's just trying to make conversation/chat 🤷‍♀️

Just a superiority complex then.

I’m surprised you work in communications. It doesn’t sound as if you read or react to people very well at all.

She’s trying to find some common ground to enjoy a courteous (or god forbid) friendly relationship with a colleague.

I’m not sure how old you both are, but there comes a time when how many exams you sit becomes meaningless and shared experiences are far more important…even if those experiences happen at different times. We all know how nerve-wracking exams are and can empathise.

I have two degrees and can still empathise with someone sitting GCSEs. An exam is an exam…we all feel the same way about them no matter what the subject or level.

Maybe tell her to join mumsnet and she might find the responses shes looking for rather than talking to you.

What's odd is that you as a newbie and still also unqualified can't relate and be nice to her, she's just trying to find common ground and you are by no means the pro.

The year 9/11 example is perfect, you're both still studying, neither is the expert, and you've been through it recently enough to be able to put yourself in her shoes and offer support if you choose to.

I don’t understand the question. You’re irritated that she is trying to find some common ground with you? That she is doing her best to initiate conversation with a colleague. Sounds like she’s trying to create a friendly atmosphere in the office and you’re quite standoffish and have a bit of a superiority complex.

For someone who proclaims to be great at communication, you seem to be failing very badly on this thread. Your reaction comes across as odd. As if you feel as you’re further through you feel superior to her, so she shouldn’t wish to talk to you about it, but talk to people more her level, and have no desire ro interact or empathise.

which in this context is the oddest thing to feel superior about.

Perfectly normal for her to discuss her exam with you, especially since you are doing the same course.

Your response is not normal, and I wonder what is really bothering you?

I did my degree many years ago but I could still empathise with the students doing theirs, who would often talk to me about their exams and coursework. Even though I did the same things so knew what writing an essay was like I offered understanding and advice.