To find colleagues comments a bit odd?

[chemteail]

We’re both working to get the same qualification. I’m 2 years in (have one third left) and she’s just started.

She’ll bring up her one exam constantly and tell me how difficult it is and everything you have to learn. When I did that exam 2 years ago.

She sat it yesterday and told me that you use laptops in the exam and not pen and paper. Like yes having sat 20 exams I’m well aware.

I never mention mine, she only knows how far I am because she specifically asked me. It’s just odd that she talks to me like it’s a completely new concept to me.

Surely if you're that amazing at communication you can find some generic encouragement about it being worth it in the end or about the exam environment or something. Or given you're so rich pay someone to write some snippets of nice words to use in response. I think you might be making your colleague nervous

I think there are some people who can only relate to their own experiences and have no concept that others may also have experienced these things.
It's theory of mind disorder.
My DF was like this, he would tell you the most mundane things as if you were an alien just landed on earth.
He had ZERO ability to understand , there was no malice at all.

She's trying to make conversation and connect. And frankly you sound like you either think your're so much better than her as you self studied and did 12 exams or you're threatened by her

I think if you’re struggling to empathise with someone because you did the same exam they’re doing 2 years ago, then your colleague isn’t the issue.

Ive never sat this exam, but even I can empathise with someone taking challenging professional exams while also doing a day job.

Or perhaps there is a nuance to the conversation that isn't conveyed well on an Internet post

So she is chit chatting over common ground? You seem rude. Just brush it off 🤷 ask how she found it and move the conversation on to a different topic??

What do you think about the unanimous consensus that she’s trying to find common ground and you’re odd for not empathising @chemteail?

i feel like people reading this post assume ‘good’ communication equates to friendly communication that puts people at ease.

But OP clearly thinks ‘good’ communication means effectively communicating to people that they are unwelcome, while ensuring they feel uncomfortable.

Maybe she’s not a marketing professional, nurse or childminder. Perhaps she’s a debt collector or drill sergeant. That would make sense and would account for all of us being confused at her rather angry sounding commentary.

She sounds like she's just trying to make conversation. Have a little empathy.

Use your emotional intelligence. She’s telling you this to share her experience, not because she is questioning yours. She’s looking for empathy and solidarity. It’s about her, not you.

You sound a bit annoyed that a lesser mortal has spoken to you as though -horror - you are on the same level.

I must leave this thread now however, as I have done 13 exams and I just can't relate. I have increased my salary by 75% and am super busy until November.

Life isn't a game of Top Trump's OP, you can afford to be nice to the little people for the simple reason that it's the only score that actually counts.

🤣🤣

Aren't you lovely 😬

I think she sounds hugely annoying, frankly. I can see why it irritates you.

I agree with others that she’s probably just trying to connect with you, may be hopes you’ll mentor her a bit or at least just validate her effort and struggle, but she’s spectacularly bad at it. It’s all “me, me, me” which is rarely a good way to connect with others, and if they aren’t responding positively and moving that connection forward, then keeping on doing the same thing… well, it must be like a little dog barking at your ankles.

But it’s not doing any harm is it? So just nod an acknowledgment and move on.

It sounds like she is just processing the exam/course in her mind and she talks to you about it because she knows you have done it. This doesn’t seem particularly odd.

From your posts, you sound as though you think you are rather better than her and that you don’t want to have this common ground with her.

You seem to be thinking about this only from your point of view, you don’t need to know what she is saying as you have already done it so there is no benefit to you in hearing her.
Rather than thinking of any benefit she may be gaining herself from telling you.

There are all sorts of annoying people in my office, i probably equally annoy others but generally we are all friendly and likeable and manage to pass the time of day together. People often talk about their experience regardless of who else may have been there first and has the t shirt, yes sometimes it grates but you just use some generic response and move on. You sound like you might be highly stressed as things can get out of proportion then.

So what. Colleague talks to me shock horror.

It just sounds like she's trying to connect with you and maybe not great at social stuff either.

I agree that you're coming across as very cold here whether you actually are or not.

Just be nice and offer some reassurance or comment on a common experience.

Yes, this.
You are the odd one OP.

No, I don't get this.

You are her peer as you are work colleagues.

This sounds like a you problem really. She's trying to relate to you and you're blocking it.

Well this is a bizarre comment. I don’t get why you can’t just empathise with her?

This is true !

I try and live by the life mantra "don't be a dick"
Its pretty simple
and works

Does her name begin with V?

She sounds awfully like someone I have worked with recently who would talk at me about things like this. I found it very intense and difficult to respond to. I had conversations with others at her stage of learning that didn't feel as weird and forced so it wasn't that I couldn't empathise, just that the way she went on felt like you were getting a lecture as opposed to having a chat.

She’s making small talk and processing something that’s very much on her mind.

It’s not on your mind so it seems irrelevant.

Smile and nod.