Name changed as this is outing.
My friend of many years has always been quirky and that’s why I love her, she’s over 40 but still has a silly side and is very reluctant to grow up! Even her children get embarrassed sometimes at her immature behaviour but she just doesn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks.
Some examples of her behaviour are: skipping round supermarkets singing, wearing very bright clothing often covered in glitter and unicorns, finding it funny to fart in meetings and blame someone else, giving people silly nicknames, playing practical jokes etc…
Her teenagers love her to bits but often have to tell her to grow up and remind her that she has friends her own age when she wants to join them when they go out of friends visit the house.
I know this makes her sound like a nightmare but she’s an amazing friend in every other way and puts everyone before herself, other then these quirky behaviours she’s loyal, great company, reliable and trustworthy. She’s had a lot of tragedy in her life which I think has caused her to regress and why I worry I’m being unreasonable.
Recently she’s started talking in a baby voice and changing her words to childish ones, she’ll say things like here come the nee naws, I got an ouchie, I need to go do a wee wee, my wanna do it, and in a whiney voice “that’s minnnnne” or “I don’t wanna gooooo”
She had to go to an important meeting and asked me to go as support but I had to tell her to get a grip when she span on a swivel chair saying “wheee watch me!”
I have mentioned this a few times and she gets defensive and says it’s just a bit of fun, her children are older teens but she copies things her young nieces and nephews say.
Her children have begged her not to do this and my partner refuses to go out with us after she was behaving like this in public. Her parents have told her to grow up and she just laughs and calls anyone who criticises boring, the more people comment the worse it gets.
I know this sounds absolutely ridiculous and people will think I’m making it up, but it’s actually getting ridiculous because I’m starting to hate spending time with her, I feel terrible saying I’m embarrassed by my friend but an adult skipping round Tesco wearing a unicorn backpack and singing silly made up rhymes just attracts attention and I hate people staring at her and judging her, it makes me feel protective as well as embarrassed.
WIBU if I tell her that people don’t see her as this young fun person she thinks she is and that it’s making me cringe or should I just hope she’ll eventually either take on board what people are saying and hope it passes? If it’s making her feel better about growing older then should I be interfering? She’s not hurting anyone and doesn’t do it all the time - but it is becoming more frequent and I’m scared it’ll become an ingrained habit.
If anyone asks her age or date or birth she tells them she’s 18 and even if it’s being asked for an important reason (like a hospital appointment) she refuses to back down until they just go along with it. I think most people are humouring her assuming she’s mentally ill and I don’t feel that’s the case. I think she’s just recently turned 40 and completely in denial but I’m hoping as she gets used to it the behaviour will stop.
I wondered if anyone else knows someone like this and how they handled it? I don’t want to lose my friend but it’s difficult having a serious conversation with someone who answers serious questions like “did you get your car fixed?” With
“No brum brum is still poorly and has to go to car hospikal”
Its getting increasingly difficult not to get frustrated and angry.
She has no husband or partner because she wanted to wait until her children were grown up and moved out so they never had a step dad they didn’t like or a blended family. This is an example of the selfless person she is, her children’s father has seen this side of her but just says it’s nothing to do with him and it’s not causing any harm to the kids and she’s just a bit batty.