Are boys easier to raise than girls?

[PlatinumBlondeXo]

Everyone always says that baby boys are easier to raise than baby girls. They are typically less hard work and more placid. Is that true or just a myth?

I have a boy and a girl ..both teens now.

My experience has been that my ds was a much easier baby...I have heard boys are easier as babies and thay was true for me.

Overall though I find my dd much easier to parent though. Less energetic...I could relax at home with my dd...she was happy to read, play, draw. Ds was full of energy. You could never have a chill day. Every single day I'd have to make sure he went outside and had a run around. I found this tiring.

@SoupDragon I don’t know, maybe have a Google!

Hormones weren’t my point (although I’m not sure particular hormones are easier to raise than others?!).

I was pointing out that people look for patterns and therefore experience confirmation bias. A bit like the experiment where they gave half the children sugar and half not, but the sugared up children had a quieter party and the non-sugared children ran riot and the adults blamed it on the sugar without knowing they hadn’t had any.

I’ve noticed it with my child. He used to have long hair and people mistook him for a girl. When he was acting up, people would say, ‘oh she’s so cute, what a cheeky little grin, I can tell she’s got a lovely temperament, maybe she’s overtired’. When he was doing exactly the same wearing more typical boy clothes, I would get, ‘typical boy, so much energy, they keep you on your toes’!!

A lot is social conditioning and even if you think it’s down to hormones, I don’t see how one set of hormones would make it any easier or harder to raise? If we are taking stereotypes, is a hysterical/bitchy/emotional girl easier or harder to raise than a full of beans/sporty/eats everything in the house boy?

My daughter was a lot whinier than my sons but I didn't treat her any differently.

2 girls 1 boy here and growing up there was no difference at all. They have their different things at different times.

It’s when they started to go out on the town at 18. Most of my grey hairs and sleepless nights were worrying about my dds. Whether their drink would be spiked, would they get home safe, were they being harassed by men etc. I didn’t worry about my son at all.

I have two girls - completely different. It’s meant my husband has struggled more with the second as he assumes she will be like her older sister …but she isn’t she is much more ‘challenging/loud/door slamming …..’ They often clash so he needs to find a different approach.

Im one of 4 - 3 girls. Each of us different.

I think birth age has more to do with it! I’m the eldest and quite compliant my middle sister was a nightmare as a teenager (& still is difficult as a 40+ year old) But more likely we each have our own personalities and experiences.

I don't think so DS been harder some ages and easier others - but DDs have been harder at different ages to each other as well.

He did have more energy at some point and different teary clingy stages that may talking to other parents be some hormone growth stage or conformation bias.

More helpful as teen - though DD2 is more than DD1 - and was often more cuddly than sisters - but how do you to sperate personality from gender. Prior to DD2 birth we were constantly being told personality traits were down to gender - then she came along very like DS is many ways and blew those theories to hell.

I’ve noticed it with my child. He used to have long hair and people mistook him for a girl. When he was acting up, people would say, ‘oh she’s so cute, what a cheeky little grin, I can tell she’s got a lovely temperament, maybe she’s overtired’. When he was doing exactly the same wearing more typical boy clothes, I would get, ‘typical boy, so much energy, they keep you on your toes’!!

I witnessed my girls getting praise for stuff that when DS did it first or on different day was completely ignore. Seemed particularly bad round primary school and primary school ages - I don't think before or since I've encountered quite so many gender stereotypes out in the real world.

In my case, it's true up to primary age. Boys are easier as long as they get out to burn off energy then they're calmer. Girls obviously need this too but in my experience, they don't go crazy in the house if they haven't been out that day.
Raising kids to be functional and considerate adults isn't easy at all for either sex.

My DD has about a million percent as much energy as her brother and flips so easily between sweet and just so ANGRY without warning, it’s a lot harder work. But she’s still young and I imagine will be totally different again as a teenager and this will all just have been a phase. DS clingier consistently though.

I think birth order has a lot to do with it and just dumb luck, although there is probably some social conditioning and also some biological differences in there too. On such a small case study (given most people have 1-4 children) I really don’t think you could generalise and say boys are / girls are. It’s just the children you have. Maybe on a population basis there are some traits that are found more commonly in girls or boys.

One thing i can say raising all boys is that girls have it easier in the long run.
When they become men its like they are not to have feelings.
My friends daughter got pregnant and put in a baby unit and 6 months later got the keys to a flat.
One of mine got told that the housing cant help him really as hes just a single man The waiting list is about 3 to 8 years.
He works full time good job and now rents it all worked out but i do think men have to work harder.
If a woman bad mouths a man its fine if man says the same hes abusive.
In recent years i have noticed that women are abusive some more than the man but because hes a man he won't be believed.
Women have come a long way for equal rights but i do find some women are taking it too far.
Men cannot get anything right anymore.
If a man does something wrong he will never forget it if his partner or GF does something wrong hes not to bring it up.
If a man cheats kick him out and move on he scum but if she cheats she told to keep quiet and say nothing.
If hes working 6am til 10pm and she is a stay at home mum she expects him to do night feeds as well as clean up when he gets in.
He`s useless if he dont do it.

Raising boys you see the other side of things.

This is utter nonsense.

I think getting your kids through the school system is generally easier when you have girls.

I think typical girls traits are very much favoured by the school system. Being neat, organised, quiet, compliant. Of course not all girls are like this and not all boys are the opposite....but on a whole I find teachers massively favour the girls in the class.

I have 3 girls so cant comment personally.

But ABSOLUTELY everyone that as a boy and a girl have said to me their boys were so much easier to raise than girls.

Sometimes i think its that girls are held to a higher standard than boys hence why boys have turned into the type of men we encounter today.

I have three children, 2 boys and a girl. So far in order of how easy they are:
DS1 - always been very laid back and still is my easiest
DD - youngest child but middle on the hard scale, happy and headstrong.
DS2 - easy toddler but young primary age currently very hard (possible ADHD)

All lovely in their own way. But all very different personalities, I’m not sure being boy or girl has anything to do with it.

I found my 3 DS’s easy, I have no experience of DD’s.

They are adults now, basically I found keeping them well fed, allowed lots of gaming and being around when they needed to chat worked well.

I have boys, this isn't 'the other side of things'.

You expect a single male to be on equal footing as a single mother for a council house?

The whole bloody world revolves around men and their feelings.

The rest of it is such utter 'poor menz, those mean women take this feminism thing too far' it's not even worth commenting on tbh.

All babies and all kids are different!

I think if you’re purely talking re babies, the bigger the baby the easier they appear, because their stomachs hold more food, and they can go longer between feeds. Usually, generally speaking, other issues aside etc. So with boys being typically bigger this could mean they sometimes seem more settled.

My son happened to be a much easier baby than my daughter because she was a very sick baby.

She has then been much easier to raise over all though - she’s 15 now and he’s 10.

🤣🤣🤣 no!! They can both be difficult/easier in different ways and how difficult a child is very much on the individual child (I have a mixture of both) and also the compatibility with the parents. From the experiences of friends & family as well as my own, I would say it’s true boys tend to need more physical outlets and prone to play fighting/aggression and girls tend to be more emotionally sensitive

Mumsnet actually ' proves' that most men are terrible? Presumably because their parents were so awful.

That's Nobel Prize material surely. And yet I somehow missed this great breakthrough.

The irony. Your comment is nonsense

Factually speaking there are big differences in personality traits that is linked to sex

Of course men have it easier than women overall and in the long term. That’s why we talk about male privilege. It’s not even worth discussing with someone who’d say something as stupid as “women have it easier”

my experience of this was true.
easy going boys, highly strung girls.

I’m going to say yabu because there are too many factors to even say boys are easier than girls. I do think birth order, environment, and personality has way more influence than gender.

I do agree with posters that the bar is low for boys where if they do anything that a girl typically does, they are praised for it and even seen more highly. Women’s labour is more and often undervalued even in things that are considered “feminine”. The evidence in that being fashion designers, chefs, hairstylists, parenthood etc. I do understand what one poster said that girls are told they can be anything BUT that ignores that girls are told this because for centuries women had to have permission from a male to do anything that wasn’t
considered feminine, our contributions backed up by a male to be heard, and even then, not believed that women were capable of such things outside of what it takes to be a good wife and mother.

I have two boys and my youngest daughter is 4.5 months old.

DS1 is autistic and says a handful of words. He is a Dr.Jekyll/Mr.Hyde. He is absolutely lovely when he is happy and in a good mood, but when he doesn’t get his way, or something bothers him whatever small it is he turns into another child that shrieks, hits, throws things, and all inside must know how upset he is (only does it at home thankfully) and such a tantrum which can turn into a meltdown can last for 15-20 minutes and it doesn’t help that he is quite strong for his size and will only grow more as time goes on. He was an easy baby, toddler, and child until about 7 and he’s 9 now and I really hope it is true that he should get better with time.

DS2 was also an easy baby and toddler but much more energy and still is at six while also being pure sunshine and upbeat. He can be a bit much but you can’t help but smile or laugh with him and he gives lovely hugs. He is very helpful and will do things when asked usually without much fuss. He does need help focusing on things because he gets easily distracted but once he is focused, there is no stopping him.

DD1 is something, lol. She is a curious little baby who must be busy/entertained until she is ready to either nurse or sleep. She is one of those that you can definitely tell what she is thinking on her face. She is a happy baby but when she isn’t it escalates quickly, but also fizzles out quickly. She is ridiculously quick with her hands and I have a feeling weaning isn’t going to be too difficult with the way she is looking and trying to steal my food. Can only imagine what she is going to be like as she gets older but I look forward to it. She reminds me of DS2 as a baby but more vocal.

They can all be easier in some ways and harder in others and it has nothing to do with their gender. My own parents raised two girls and if you would ask my dad, he would say I was extremely easy and never worried about me where my mum would say I wasn’t because I was too quiet and nonchalant and weird because I wasn’t a stereotypical teen girl interested in dating and always being out with friends. My dad would say my sister was the hardest, didn’t listen to him, talked back, always had an attitude, yet my mum would say she was easier.

It’s really down to what a parent personally believes is easier for them. If one’s an outdoorsy parent and they have a child that hates being outside and they have to force them out, and a child who loves being outside, they’re likely going to see the indoor child as harder.

Its down to the personality of the child.
But i do agree that when they are adults men cant get anything right.
Especially on MN.

My son's sex has bog all to do with his personality. I completely accept that how he is raised, his environment, my attitude toward him/ how I view him etc does though. That's why I'm doing what I can to pushback at damaging stereotypes. He's certainly not 'easy' either and never has been... that relates to his learning disability NOT HIS SEX. Again, I'm doing what I can to support and help him.