To think change is desperately needed in schools?

[GibberingPeck]

I work with young children. Today I was hit twice and scratched on the face so hard it drew blood. This has not happened to me before and I’ve worked in schools for many years. I was trying to stop a child hurting another child. The school’s stance seems to be that I shouldn’t have intervened or somehow dealt with the situation badly. I think they saw I was bleeding, but ignored it as they have so much to deal with. This year, I think I’ve seen more violent and aggressive behaviour from children than I’ve ever seen. And no way of dealing with it - it seems to have become acceptable or ‘the norm’.

I retired from teaching, primary. The memory I took from my last day as a nine year old child throwing a chair across the classroom; anger issues due to home life. We were all in danger, 30 children and me. Not one ounce of support from senior management. That was ten years ago, I can only surmise how much those incidents have increased.

@CestLaVie123
Indeed.
And yet we are told that schools are too strict and cannot cater for every need.
The shit that school staff have to put up with (and I speak to a lot of them and used to be one) is mind blowing, and yet still they are castigated.
The move from the more authoritarian parenting of older generations to what is now basically permissive parenting in a wild overcorrection to compensate is in IMO to some extent as responsible as social media and we will have a swathe of children who think their rights are the centre of the universe and that rules do not apply to them. I see this daily where consequences are meted out and then the parents call in with some excuse as to why that should not apply to their child.

I work in a primary school and used to work in early years, the behaviour has got significantly worse.

It’s a mixture of the impact of covid, undiagnosed additional needs and massively down to poor parenting. There was a time what a teacher or school said was what was listened to, now parents question every decision you make and how it’s upset their child.

Children now threaten parents with the police/social services, parents threaten schools with every legal loophole and it’s out of control. School staff deserve to be respected, we are for 6 hours a day mum, dad, teacher, nurse and everything else in between for the children we work with. We certainly don’t get paid enough so a bit of respect from SLT and parents would be nice.

I've only read parts of your thread but I'm a primary teacher and teach 5/6 year olds. It does feel like the norm now to have students hit or kick you or throw chairs. To be honest, I'm exhausted every single day dealing with constant low level behaviour issues then a regular occurrence of violent outbursts. I do fear where we are going to be in another 10years time.

I'm not kidding: they've tried that in parts of Scotland - have brought in cadet instructors to start up a school cadet group. They always tackle the 'difficult' children

Totally agree OP! It is shocking at the moment. I work in a mainstream primary school and the attitude from age 5 is awful. They think they can choose what lessons they do. Parents back them and kick off & verbally assault staff. Classrooms are regularly trashed. Expensive equipment smashed & broken. Children & staff attacked. It is so far removed from how I remember primary school & the fond memories I have.

So many people blaming covid... why?! "Undiagnosed needs" I don't believe either. Too many parents let their children be on YouTube & inappropriate gaming all day then say their kid has "adhd". It's not adhd. It's these children not going out in the fresh air and burning off real energy like we did 20 years ago.

When these kids are violent, what happens? Do the parents get called in? What sort of responses do you get from parents? And how bad does it need to be before you can exclude them?

If you talked to a speech therapist I'm sure they would say socialising babies and toddlers does matter. There's science behind it..

Third post on the thread nailed it 🔨

Spot on. Children will always test boundaries, that is to be expected. It is the parents who need to set those boundaries and hold firm and not give in just because it's the easier option. There is no such thing as a quiet life. If you give in the bad behaviour always escalates as the child tests the new boundaries you have allowed them.

I think one of the reasons so many people blame Covid (something I’m currently researching) is because during Covid children were:
socially isolated
surrounded by news of death
subject to more frequent abuse in some cases
witness to more cases of domestic violence

The list is endless, research shows that Covid is classed as mass traumatic event and the impact on mental health and behaviour is just starting to emerge.

My daughter has minimal screen time, is outside constantly, plays with her toys and friends..she still has ADHD.

I still believe though the biggest impact on behaviour from children is coming from lack of boundaries from parents.

This!

And I would add due to funding cuts, schools have had to cut all but essential services. Thr secondary school I was a governor at had to stop their reading classes (some kids arrive in y7 unable to read)

@IncessantNameChanger I do a lot of speech & language interventions. I was very lucky & didn't have to work in lockdown. My children were able to stay home as.a family of 4. If anything we spoke more in lockdown! It was lovely. This blaming covid needs to stop. We could all still speak...

@CoffeeCakeAndDaisys I agree with some of that. My 9 Yr old DD also has adhd. Doesn't really use technology as she doesn't sit still long enough for it and loves being out on skateboard, climbing trees, football, roller blading. Barely any of her friends want to go out, they'd rather sit in on tiktok looking at skincare. They're 9. This is having a massive effect on children. There is no denying children are addicted to technology, it's so sad. So many of her friends also clearly do NOT have any sen needs. Theyre never read with at home as parents would rather be sat on their phones, so they become behind academically. They then struggle being sat in class because their addiction to constant scrolling on YouTube & tiktok means they cannot concentrate. They're sat on phones before and after school not burning off energy so then struggle to fall asleep. They don't attend assembly because they're "anxious".... its got ridiculous and its a vicious cycle.
**

9??! Oh my gosh, I let my daughter watch an episode of Malory Towers the other day and I thought I was pushing it 😂how do 9 yr olds even know how to use tik tok??! Surely they don't have phones at 9??

What outdated shite. And yes it's judgey.
Nurseries are more vital then ever now.
Teachers also don't have the same investment but yet are also expected to be parents, psychologist and social worker to the same kids.
Plenty of research demonstrates that children flourish from a very young age, within a nurturing nursery environment with interaction with other children, when combined with supportive and interested parents at home.
Kind of the same as schools really, wouldn't you say

@Simmy76349 they all do!! They sit for hours watching skincare videos of rich kids shopping in Sephora. It is absolutely ridiculous. Parents would rather let them do that then take them for a kick about over the park.

Fair point re attitudes. Sorry, I’m just at that point where I’m so knackered with the process.

I also think where you are can matter too. In Wales, they don’t tend to accept English private diagnoses so Harley St and funds doesn’t always help. Equally, long term it really ties the child in to paying for their own medication etc. Anyway, i do get your point re parental attitudes and some parents passing incorrect stuff down to children. I also think it can be hard to tell apart at a glance an exhausted at-end-of-tether parent from a disruptive one who doesn’t want to take responsibility. It’s why I’m eternally grateful for my school’s general support.

Crazy - and I guess if a few do it then they all want to do it. So wgat age are kids getting phones? I thought this was something we could put off till mid teens when they are actually going out alone? I'm pretty clueless (which doesn't bode well) so need to do some research but can you not put blocks on it to stop them accessing this rubbish?

Ex TA here. 1:1posts for the best part.
Absolutely broke me.
Hit, kicked, scratched, arms gouged and threatened with scissors to my throat.
I loved the first few years, hated the last few.
I quit and moved to an administrative role. Never looked back.

I’m planning to buy DD a ‘brick’ (text and calls only) phone when she’s 11 and starts at secondary school. Smartphones will be banned in this house, if they want to buy themselves one at 18 then fine. I don’t think we will be unusual by that point.

Do people actually think there's been a sudden uptick in genuinely neglectful and feckless parenting across the country, in the space of 3 or 4 years, and in all social groups (except maybe among people whose kids are at fee paying schools )

And they think vast numbers of parents are just suddenly more sh*t for no reason.

Weird, weird social phenomenon. Why isn't anyone asking how this has happened?

Another teacher here... 40y/o, primary, central scotland, 17 years in the job. Will be dropping a day after summer and taking the hit financially as I can't suffer it any longer and don't know what else I could do job-wise.

Lack of funding for staffing and resources combined with apathetic parenting (by no means all parents but certainly more and more each year).

No one is saying that. For the most part this thread is filled with people saying social media and phones are the problem. Parents letting screens raise their kids from extremely young ages (under 2). That's generally the running theme. I actually think screen time will be a category of neglect in the future.