To think DH cant come to this

[KatieBr]

So I am working away in London for a few nights (never had to before so don't really understand the rules)

DH said as neither of us have been to London, he could join me (obviously pay for his own transport) but surely he wont be able to stay in my hotel room?

Please tell me you're joking?

What a bizarre remark

Either that or he's gaslighting you

Does he think that the millions of us in overcrowded London are never going anywhere alone, during the day?!

Birmingham and Manchester are 5x the size of Edinburgh in population terms.

https://www.statista.com/statistics/294645/population-of-selected-cities-in-united-kingdom-uk/

@KatieBr it will vary depending on your own company. Ask HR to clarify, do it via email for the paper trail. My husband and I used to go to each other's working away trips all the time, it was always allowed. The one who wasn't working would sightsee in the day, then we'd meet up in the evening for dinner out, it was really lovely.

That said...your husband is infantalising you. You are a mother of children, you have grown and birthed children, and yet he is talking to you like you'd be incapable of getting on a few trains all by yourself. He needs to catch himself on.

He's either controlling or looks down on you as an incapable child, rather than his equal, as an adult, OR he doesn't want to be alone doing the parenting on his own.

If you're looking forward to some peace, and believe me, it sounds like you deserve it, just tell him it's not allowed and go on your own and enjoy every minute of childfree, husbandfree BLISS.

You'll be fine in central London by yourself. If you actually want your DH there because you'd enjoy the time away more then fair enough, just check with your work that it's ok (loads of people travel with partners in my line of work and it's fine). But don't take him just because he's made you think the tube is hard and you can't manage alone. It's not hard, and you absolutely can manage on your own. I've spent many an afternoon after a work event in London just wandering around with Google maps as my guide and had a perfectly nice time.

People don’t visit cities to see the local population.

Birmingham has nothing on Edinburgh in terms of history and the likes of the festival.

That was my point, but you knew that.

Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner, but I don't get the fear that seems to grip people from outside in regards to the city and the Tube. London is like Manchester or Newcastle or Glasgow, I've never been mugged/assaulted/whatever in any of them. It's just a city, that actually, you can't really get lost in, not when there are buses, the Tube and Ubers.

Just check with HR. Women accompany their DH all the time on business trips- so why not t'other way round?

Edinburgh has a lovely annual festival.

But bigger cities like Manchester and Birmingham have much more year round cultural activity because of their larger population size.

Clearly you’ve never been to Edinburgh if you think the festival is the only culture it has.

Ha ha, I’m Scottish and that’s nonsense!
I am a huge musical theatre fan. There is no comparison between a childhood waiting for whatever touring production was coming to the Playhouse for 5 nights versus the entire West End at my disposal now I live in London.

And no, the Festival and Fringe do not make up for it, much as I love them.

Why not?? I always accompany my husband on work trips! Loads of fun! I don't join in the work stuff obv but in the evenings explore the cities!

I am from the north of Scotland in a little town that’s nothing like London or even Glasgow or Edinburgh. I’ve been to London quite a few times now I flew down several times on my own as a young teen to go to a camp where my uncle met me took me round London saw the sights etc prior to going to camp in Hampshire. I’d been once on holiday then I’ve been to meet friends a few times. Ive done the tube, visited museums etc but honestly it’s just too big, noisy, busy and I just don’t like it: I wouldn’t want to visit again if I’m honest.

for some reason people who live in London don’t like being told people don’t want to visit or don’t like London. But some people like nature and scenery and being outdoors, I’m not a city person. I live in a beautiful part of the country and I’m quite happy - perhaps I’m sheltered who knows. But equally if someone from w big city didn’t like where I live and it wasn’t for them, fair enough it’s not for everyone. But people are allowed to like what they like, enjoy what they enjoy and not want to visit a busy huge city if they don’t want to. Op enjoy your trip
leave dh at home though.

To me, the tube is what makes London easier to navigate than a city without a fixed network. Understanding bus routes and which stop to get off at is much more complicated than following a map, clearly labelled stations, colour coded signs in the tunnels and very obviously visible “Underground” signs in the street.

Absolutely. And I extend this to any city. Far easier navigating any big city with an underground network than a smaller one or anywhere rural relying on buses.

Just ask? My DP came all the way to San Francisco with me on a work conference once upon a time. Just paid for his flight and meals.

8-year-olds do this in London.

It depends... where I worked any training away days were valuable for the networking out of hours which I wouldn't have been happy for DH to tag along to. So we would have had no time at all together other than bed and at breakfast.

Would try to find out how it normally goes from anyone who had been before.

Perhaps you don’t know that their partners were with them.

I work in a very corporate environment and used to be based in one Asian country and travel to others quite regularly. My husband often came with me and sometimes we’d tag on a weekend after the work bit was done. It was all cleared with my employer but I wasn’t in the habit of mentioning to any of my colleagues or clients that he was there too. Obviously the work came first, including any evening socialising with colleagues. He’d work remotely or take leave if he had it.

I used to go on some of his work trips too, and sometimes I was able to visit colleagues in one of our local offices when my accommodation was paid by my husband’s company, so it was a plus for my employer, who would not have had budget to fund such a trip.

If my DH infantilised me by saying "Do you really want to go on a Tube by yourself" I wouldn't take him. He doesn't even say it when I travel to Asia on my own!

It’s very sad. So fearful that they miss out on so much. Even London.

8 really? My 14yr old does - I definitely would not let my 10yr alone on the tube in central London and I'm a Londoner.

Back to the OP- you'll be fine as long as you're streetwise to certain things - I have seen pickpockets on the tube where someone grabbed a woman's handbag and ran off with it just as the tube door was closing so make sure you hold onto your bags and don't leave them open!

In light of this, I'd definitely recommend going on your own. It's central London, not Mordor.

And there's no need to watch YouTube videos on 'how to use the Tube'! Look at the map, note whether you want north/south/east/west bound and the colour of the line, swipe your debit or credit card at the entrance ticket gate, follow the signs, swipe the same card at the exit gate. It's not difficult.

Well, some kids on the Tube in - especially the Whitgift kids from Croydon- look very young. Maybe 10-12 then

I thought you said he had never been to London?

Does he have form for treating you like a child?