Do I expect too much?

[lonelysurrounded]

I’m having some Sunday contemplation and wondering if I expect too much for friends or if they are, in fact, just not that great.

DH and I are opening a new business. We currently run a successful business, it turns over six figures (just) and is 2 years old. I work a full time “high powered” job and DH just quit to work full time on our business. Many view it as a “side hustle” or whichever icky word you want to call it. No one sees it as, say, an entrepreneurial success. Maybe we don’t talk about it enough, it just isn’t that relevant. A few close friends take it very seriously and are interested, most aren’t. They never interact with spreading the word or liking socials. However, it’s been successful on its own and so that’s that. The dialect seems to be more around DH doing little amounts of work and me now being the breadwinner (not true obviously).

The new business is a massive financial investment. It has the potential to be a seven/eight figure business and is in the tech space - we have developed an app (pre-revenue) We’ve spent tens of thousands on it. We’ve begun trying to build our social media presence. No friends have liked or supported. I have many friends in the tech space, not even a “like” on a photo. No engagement or questions. Whereas my friends have started to set up little businesses, like reselling types. I’ve liked, followed and even bought their products to support, without being asked.

Its so odd that the people who have liked things are random people I engaged with for 5 minutes at university - people who just seem decent and realise it costs them nothing.

And before anyone suggests it’s one of those annoying situations where it’s constant posts, it isn’t. I am not “inviting to like” the page on Facebook, I just made one status/post, friends watched on insta, ignored… I just feel that for my closest friends it’s the minimum they could do.

I have felt very unsupported in this and almost like I’m a bit of a joke with my little business or something - it’s very disheartening.

I’d like to understand others perspectives.

thanks.

Have you asked them? Do they know it’s you?
If I had a friend who said hey I’ve got a new business can you like and share my page I would happily do it.

I'd only ever like or leave a review on a company if I've used a service and not just because I know the person involved.

Try a competition? Easter is coming up - like and share win an egg?

I've never liked or shared anything. I'm not sure that makes me a shitty friend, I just don't do much social media and it feels a bit embarrassing and MLM.

If you have spend tens of thousands on something you think is going to be massive, surely you don't need likes on FB from your friends?

I'm not interested in other people's businesses or work, to be honest.

Have you actually asked them to do it? Not everyone has the same expectations.

I’m not getting the issue, your company is successful, what difference would 5 people liking your posts make. If I’d not used your business I’d not consider liking, it simply would not occur to me, I’d think out relationship personal not business.

your reaction is so extreme, them thinking it’s a joke. I can’t fathom why you think that. And if they are close friends why have you not shared it is so successful ?

I would like and share on SM. I am interested in (nosy about) people's work. And I would want to cheer it on. I suppose tech space stuff looks less inviting than reselling your handbags, though. It seems intimidating grown up and masculine, where resales seem very much a side hustle.

Perhaps your friends don't see it as something they would use or can get involved with? I should use a VPN package, for example, but I never get round to it. If it's the new PayPal, I would totally use it.

I like @Scarletttulips idea of the win an 🐣 - that makes it much more cuddly.

I very rarely share business stuff on my personal social media pages, never have. Don't mix friends and family with business, they are entirely separate things. If you need your friends and family to be liking and sharing your business in order for it to succeed you've got a problem.
I don't tend to like and share things from other friends businesses either unless I am a customer also.

Maybe jealousy plays a part...

If you have friends in the industry and they aren’t making the right noises then there will be a reason….

Despite it being techie, it doesn't sound like you know much about Instagram/Facebook/Linkedin algorithms... Your post with a link to a new account was probably not even seen by your friends! You are too quick to judge them as uncaring. Ask them directly via a direct channel like WhatsApp. Once.

I think YABU.
People are busy. It's probably not even crossed their minds. If you don't have a business of your own then I'm not sure you'd even think to share on social media etc I think you need to separate your friendships from your business. If friends choose to get involved then great but you shouldn't be expecting it of them.

Yabu you need a proper marketing plan not likes from friends on social media.

If you've spent "tens of thousands" on developing an app, you can invest a little more into developing a marketing plan.

Your product needs to stand on its own two feet - if you have reason to think your friends are genuinely not impressed by the product, you should take that as valuable feedback, not as a personal slight.

Your friends and family are not your marketing team. They aren’t responsible for helping to spread your presence on social media.

they may be like me and have a general policy of never sharing business links.

OP I can empathise as I have experienced and felt the same. On the other hand I still remember life before I started my business and I had absolutely no idea how much SM interaction meant.

Your friends almost certainly see your posts and feel interested and supportive but really don’t realise what you expect. It’s a bit like expecting friends to love your children. They might be pleased for you and vaguely be prepared to help out but it’s really low down in their list to do it spontaneously.

You have to ask them directly. And at the same time prepare to not be annoyed or disappointed if they don’t do anything.

Is there a chance they don’t really understand it? Bil puts up techy articles about how his business is doing, we say well done but I’m sure he knows myself his brother and mother haven’t read the article as that’s all we say. Other thing to consider is I’m an author and first rule is your friends and families are not your customers. They’re not who you’re selling to so in the same way most people might ask how work
is doing to make conversation but not really have a clue, your friends just don’t really know about your app

Never mix friendship and business. I wouldn't share if asked to do so by a friend either.

If they are in your space, I doubt it's jealousy as presumably they could have done the same.

Sorry I think many are missing the point. This isn’t to “spread awareness” or be a marketing platform.

it’s simply showing an interest. The main people it hurts with are best friends who will ask me to like their media, and those similar who are doing little Vinted businesses who ask for support.

We developed the app in house, we are very techy. Our jobs were in UX. Both have worked for the main tech companies.

They have seen the posts. It tells you who has. That’s not up for question. Not even a “heart” like I give as a gesture on their millionth baby photo? I just think it’s common decency as a friend.

I am not “inviting to like”

That's how you get likes though. That's the first thing that people do with a fb business page: they select all their friends and invite them to like it.

YANBU. For friends in the tech space not to support your new venture on social media is really bad.

Could they be jealous, OP?

Not really understanding this, people arent as bothered as you are, you need to invite them to like or ask, people are busy...............

If a friend was launching a tech business I wouldn't think to like or share, I have very few social media followers and I don't work in that space so I'm not sure how me sharing could have any beneficial impact for them, of course I could be wrong and if they asked me to I would (as long as it isn't MLM nonsense).

Its so odd that the people who have liked things are random people I engaged with for 5 minutes at university - people who just seem decent and realise it costs them nothing.

It is definitely odd that the people who don't really know you are being the most supportive.

Are you sure in your heart of hearts your friends aren't fed up of you going on about your business and success?

They can’t do the same if they don’t have the idea and the drive to turn it into a business.