Secrecy

[Picperfect]

Would you be annoyed and hurt if you’d discovered (6months ago), your other half had had massages in their hotel room whilst away on business trips? Not a crazy amount 2 to be precise (obvs as far as I know)
Would your mind jump to other things as in it’s not innocent? Or am I overreacting and over thinking?

A massage in a hotel room? I wouldn't be happy with that.

It would definitely give me the ick anyway. Were you aware that he particularly enjoys massages or is it out of nowhere?

I knew he sometimes had sports massages with a sports therapist but he’s hidden these two plus they are pretty attractive females

I'd say your OH had more than a massage!

Were you there too?

OP, how do you know they were attractive females?

Does he generally have a bad back?

No I wasn’t there it was a work trip in the states
I found emails of the booking and looked them up

Suffers from tight muscles nothing major

I wouldn’t have a problem with a sports therapist/physio, but I would with someone in a hotel room on holiday!

I wouldn’t have an issue with it although admittedly we do have different relationship rules. However if I thought he was having sex without it being agreed in our relationship Id be livid. But a massage no matter how lovely the women were, no.

This is my worry after 15 years of marriage I’m questioning everything

What does he say about it?

This is my problem it was at night in a hotel thousand of miles away from home and he didn’t tell me about it his excuse was he didn’t tell me because he knew I wouldn’t like it but it was totally innocent and how could I ever think that of him ? This is what I’m struggling with right now the doubt and losing my mind thinking I will never know and if I can move on from it

That I’m thinking too much into it that it was innocent and that he needs to work on his communication and talk to me more he said he didn’t tell me because he thought I wouldn’t agree with it

Do you have any other reason to not trust his word?

What led to you "finding" the emails?

Is there a backstory?

The massage in its own right probably wouldn't bother me (lots of hotels offer this as a service where they don't have an in-house spa and I'm certain that the majority of massage therapists are not stealth sex workers) but the secrecy would.

I've never heard of a legitimate sport masseuse doing hotel room calls.

Have you enough information to double check it?

Depends. Were they just massages or were they ahem "happy ending" massages? You know your DH best, but also what does your gut tell you?

Sounds dodgy to me! If u need a massage then for to a spa, having that in a hotel room is crossing the line even if it is innocent, the bed is too close for comfort!!!

No it wouldn't. I've done it myself plenty using the massage me service. I'd assume it to be similar.

My gut is not in a good place it’s telling me this is bad I’ve got no evidence to prove re happy ending something just doesn’t feel right

I own up I’ve been digging mainly due to feeling somethings not quite right unusual social media usage, looking up a friend of mine then sharing a video of her working out to his colleague this sparked off me looking into stuff

I'm sorry, OP.
It does sound dodgy.