I don't know how more people aren't depressed

[Springisnear4]

Life just is depressing imo. You work all the hours with no appreciation for someone who would replace you tomorrow, everything is really expensive, you just go through the motions going on some semi average holiday once a year, most days are the same, tiring and boring.

Depression is rife, but you do have to find the good bits in life or it does become overwhelming.

When I started having seizures out of the blue it truly felt like my life had ended. The anxiety and depression that followed was horrendous.

But I realised my little life that isn’t big or flashy or exciting was exactly what I needed to come back from the brink. I have to find the good stuff in my days, or the panic at having another seizure takes over everything.

Life isn’t all that bad. But you do have to work for it sometimes.

Which is why have a dog…. 🤣

But seriously you probably have a lot more to be grateful for. Health, a roof over your head, you can access the internet, you aren’t living in a war torn country, you don’t have to walk miles for water, free medical care, social security benefits, free dental…. Not all these things may apply to you, but you get the gist. Are you glass half empty or full?

Are you in the wrong job? You work to live, not live to work.

Are you seriously saying there aren’t enough depressed people out there!?😂😂

Yep. I think many are depressed but aren’t being treated. I fall into this. I hate the daily slog but what’s the alternative?

I couldn't live like that.

I wasn't put on this earth to work and then hand said money over to others for them to become rich.

I alwaysbtry and have something little to look forward to, even if it just lunch with a friend. I love my job though.

I feel appreciated in my job. I have a lovely DS, great friends. I don't actively enjoy going to work honestly but really enjoy weekends. I like my life.

Your theory is kind of based on the idea that if you had all the material stuff you’d be immune to depression though? It simply doesn’t work that way.

I think lots of people are depressed. They hide it from others, and sometimes themselves, by throwing themselves into other things like work or maybe they drink too much, etc etc. Distractions basically.

I don't know that many people that I would say are truly happy. Ultimately most of us are just passing time until we die!

For that reason you kind of just have to make the best of it and find the joy where you can. On MN they always say "comparison is the thief of joy". I don't agree. Because the thing that often keeps me going is realising how much better off I am than many other people in the world. Yeah if you're comparing yourself to rich and successful people, it's going to feel shit! But, despite all the issues, we are lucky to have homes and food and some agency over how our life pans out.

I'm lucky in that I do have a laugh at work as have a nice team. But it is stressful work.

DHs job is more hours and stress with a grumpy boss - but they don't shy away from making sure he knows he's hugely important to the firm and that they appreciate how hard he works and what he brings.

Hugely grateful though for the house our jobs has afforded us. And that it means DC can go to a school that suits their needs.

It's also why I always book the holidays we want.

A couple of wonderful holidays a year make it worthwhile to me.

Along with having fun with DH/DCs/family/friends. We also try hard not to feel too guilty if we have lazy weekends!

Work is a fact of life. I'm so glad I'm somewhere I feel supported and valued, but of course if I won the lottery I'd quit!

All of that may sometimes be true. It helps me to think about:

• Sunshine. Plants come to life from pure sunshine! Seeds just split in the darkness and the heat of the sun turns them into grapes or tomatoes or strawberries; it's magical! And you can stand in a patch of sunshine and breathe deeply too.

• Art. Humans make it and it can be incredible - a normal human can craft a dress that looks like gossamer out of hard stone with skill and hard work- amazing! A painting can allow you to explore the world through time and space; you can see the inside of a bar in Paris 200 years ago and with a little imagination you can almost be there.

• Music and dancing; you can move your body to music you like and it will make you happy.

• The lives of others. You can make them better. You can spread joy and comfort every day of your life choose to. You can make the difference for someone, by being kind, by smiling. You could tell a stranger you like their skirt. You could help to carry an old lady's bags. You could volunteer in a food bank. You can choose to make someone else's life just a little bit better; what power you have.

We live in the richest safest era we live in a country free if war with health care and a multitude of choices. I personally feel incredibly lucky and privileged. But I don't especially care about phones, cars, holidays or expensive clothes. Change your expectations and you'll realise you are one if the richest, luckiest people on this planet

I'm old enough to remember when going to work was enjoyable. Don't get me wrong, it was hard, but it was enjoyable.

The joy seems to have gone in recent years. I went self employed to avoid this. Are there any changes you could make OP?

Life is amazing. If you are medically depressed then you need to get treatment. If you are looking for ways to improve your life,
looks the things you have listed as causing you to feel depressed.
Your job: jobs don’t have to be depressing.
Mine is very stressful and I have to be careful but it is also very rewarding.
Holidays: do what you enjoy - do it every other year if it’s too expensive to do yearly or find less expensive things that you enjoy
Expense: just buy what you need. I know that’s easy to say but much material goods are not really needed. They are just fashion.
boring: mix things up, have a reading night, film night, games night etc - fill your time
with the things you enjoy. I get maybe 20 minutes a day to read during the week. I look forward to it all day. Then I treat myself to a longer read at the weekend. In nice weather I do this on the village green.

But depression is an illness. You can be living the perfect life and be depressed.

It's like saying "I don't know why more people don't have shingles. Or cancer.

Don't you get that?

No, I can't change my job because I have a mortgage on my own and I couldn't earn enough to keep my house otherwise. I'd have to start again on minimum wage and I'm too old to do that now.

I don't get it OP. There are so many pleasures, a good night sleep, a hot shower, nice clothes, good cup of tea, nice breakfast, good coffee, spring flowers etc etc.

If you have a job you have people in your life and a purpose.

There are depressing things in life, awful, terrible horrors. But what you've described doesn't come close.

I guess other people have a more positive outlook? I work some hours doing a job I enjoy, and I do not care that they could replace me tomorrow. Everything is really expensive so we take joy in cheaper things now - picnics, going for a walk, making a 'cinema' at home (putting the sofa up close to the TV and closing the curtains!). We go on some semi average holiday once a year and have a lovely time together playing games, in the pool, nothing special but just fun and relaxing. Most days are the same - appreciating the birds tweeting, a delicious breakfast, a quiet 10 minutes of yoga, hearing DD read, doing arts with her, my lovely commute, having a chat with DH each evening. Life is what you make it!

It's not as easy at all to say "you need to get treatment"
I've had all the treatment going, it doesn't change anything.

I haven't shared any of my horrors, the thread wasn't intended to share my trauma.

I don’t earn loads of money, but I enjoy what I do, I know I am appreciated, I have a child I love and who loves me, I have good friends, and a relationship I enjoy.

Life is good!

People don’t become depressed because life is shit, they think life is shit because they are depressed.

What would need to happen for you not to be depressed……i.e. to get better and be able to view life more positively OP?

I understand. I've been in that position myself at one time.

Could you go self employed?

We are here for a very short time OP. We weren't put here to make other people rich while we live like worker ants. I sometimes fantasize that I'm living in caveman times where you get up, go forage for berries and vegetables then when you've got enough for the day, finish work!

That’s a different thing then. I don’t think that level of depression is caused by work, holidays, boredom. All I will say is don’t give up hope with treatment. I finally managed to
get a parent suitable treatment after decades of things not working.

I think you may be romanticising the Stone Age! 😂