I don't know how more people aren't depressed

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Life just is depressing imo. You work all the hours with no appreciation for someone who would replace you tomorrow, everything is really expensive, you just go through the motions going on some semi average holiday once a year, most days are the same, tiring and boring.

Crikey, see that's not normal sorry

Probably not but it's all I've known shrugs I had a good childhood too so I can't blame it on that but you can't feel emotions you just don't feel I guess? Tbh as good as my parents were they probably should've noticed I was extremely withdrawn and not as happy as other kids, but it just got put down to me being a shy kid. And obviously I had no outward reason to be depressed. I only recently figured out that's probably what it was myself since I thought childhood depression was so rare.

Edit-missed a word out

Mental health is already a crisis!

Usually when times are tough we stick together a little more and find the small joys in life.

Life is depressing but we don’t have to all be depressed.

I agree with you OP and this is especially the case if you are unhappy at work at stuck there for financial reasons.You have to make a change and choose happiness or at least contentment every day because you only get one life. Some people are genuinely happy and content. It’s good to observe them and figure out why that is.

I was deeply unhappy at work for a long time and only left when it made me physically ill. Surrounded by people who like me were just trying to get through the day. I realised soon after I became ill how replaceable I was at work but not at home. After years of being ill, I’m kicking myself for getting into that position in the first place. For what? To pay a mortgage and bills forever? To feel proud of my job title and going above and beyond at work? Nobody gives a shit and you’re not taking any of that with me when u die.

I’ve decided (after much to and fro) to downsize, take a job with less responsibility but more happiness and spend as much time enjoying my life as much as I can. Change is scary but also exciting. It doesn’t have to be drastic but think about the things that you enjoy, things that are necessary and things that you could do without in your life. Notice the small things: kindness in strangers, beauty in the outdoors and changing seasons. It’s hard to do this when you are feeling low or in crisis mode but take a step towards simplifying your life and you will feel a difference.

A lot of people are but they choose to try not dwell on it, focus on some positives and not talk about it.

I understand OP.
I've suffered from mental health issues from the age of eleven (trauma induced). I have since then, to varying degrees, found life really challenging. I'm just one of life's exceptionally sensitive souls, and get easily overwhelmed.
I actually do think depression is rife these days, but many people hide it, or distract themselves from it.
I think, for me, getting enjoyment from the simple things really helps - a hot bath, a cup of tea with my favourite biscuits, a coastal walk etc. If I mindfully engage with these little things, and really appreciate them, the challenges feel a bit easier to deal with, as they're in smaller chunks - if that makes sense?!
I have experienced depression so terrible I could barely get out of bed however, and in that state I've just had to keep breathing and take each second at a time, as it was so intolerable. I pray I never experience that again. I pray you're not either 🙏

I have had anxiety and depression. A lot of the stuff that made me depressed is still there I just had to change my outlook.

I've learnt to be grateful for what I do have. A nice house, 3 amazing kids, time to read and do exercise. Occasional nights out, a husband I love.

If you found out you were going to die tomorrow your life would suddenly seem important and special. It's all about your thoughts, watch your thoughts, don't engage in the negative thoughts. Access some counselling if you need professional help for things to shift.

I've learnt to be grateful for what I do have. A nice house, 3 amazing kids, time to read and do exercise. Occasional nights out, a husband I love.

I'm really genuinely happy for you that you have those things; but, many people don't, so your post wouldn't be relevant to someone who was homeless for example. There can always be some joy in the little things (see my post above) but you really do have to work so much harder (mentally and emotionally) to be grateful for what you have, if life has dealt you an especially challenging hand of cards. Often, if you have severe mental health issues to begin with, it's extremely difficult to carve a very successful life (in the conventional sense) and then hard to get out of the depression cycle.
It's very understandable that some people can't easily feel happy 😔

The most depressed person I know doesn't have to work due to inherited wealth. She lives in a large, beautiful house. The cheeriest person I know works a 60 hour week at minimum wage. She rents.

I don't think that depression is about having to work.

Yep. This. Just lying in my bed at night reading - with freshly washed sheets is a lovely way to spend time

Although that comes after the bath...rather than a shower

I think if you are not getting pleasure from simple things you are spending too much time on social media comparing your life to others.

I was suicidally depressed from childhood into my late 20s. Then I did some CBT and learned the arts of saying 'no' and of not giving a shit about what other people think.

From then on (around mid 30s), if I didn't like my life, I changed it. I've moved countries, divorced, switched careers, moved to the sea - whatever it took. And I echo the taking pleasure in the small things.

A friend said to me a couple of years ago that they envied my unwillingness to compromise my happiness. That's a better description than the 'luck' others put my life down to, and is also a description of how we make our own luck.

Mine is a little life for sure, but it's one I've actively chosen and it's a happy one.

I think I'd feel more like this, if I hadn't had my son (and another planned). Now all my excitement is on them - I'm excited for what the future holds and watching them grow, taking them places, etc. I'm also someone that likes to have something to look forward to. If I have nothing booked, be it a holiday or just a day out - life can feel mundane for sure! It's always good to have something to motivate you along.

I remember that no matter how down/depression/miserable I feel, that there are people who are way worse off. Who would kill to have what I have.

I take pleasure from the small things (a nice coffee, a long dog walk in the rain).

I used to be depressed - and was medicated - and the medication did not help. What helped was focussing on the positives. Getting exercise. Remembering I was immensely privileged to have the life I have.

It’s hard, OP, and it’s easier said than done to focus on the good. But you need to try. Even if it’s just one thing a day.

That's the wrong outlook!

You need to pick out the small joys in life, make sure you have things to look forward to, however small. I'm cooking tapas next weekend, will play Spanish music and have a dance. I'm really looking forward to that.

Perhaps concentrate on the things you are grateful for instead of the things that bring you down x

It’s not strange to think why aren’t other people depressed when you’re depressed.

Clinical depression is an illness.

When I was a teenager, I told an older relative I felt happy 70% of the time. How she sneered at me! She thought I was ridiculous. What sort of moron could feel happy most of the time?

I'm much older now, and happy 90% of the time. She's far wealthier than I am and has a lot to be happy about it. But still isn't.

I think it's down to personality and outlook. But also, I think that people who are happy and contented are often seen as a bit naive, a bit simple. Like they ought to be resentful about all the material things they don't have, and they're mugs for not wanting more. As if life is taking them for a ride.

Fuck that. I live in one of the safest, wealthiest countries in the world. I have good food, hot water and people I love. I don't need expensive cars and holidays. I don't care that some people are obscenely rich and I'm not.

Op ,I spent 30 years trying every antidepressants possible and none worked .
So I spent some time researching what I was struggling with ,and last year I was diagnosed with autism..so I know now why I get down and I'm learning how to lift myself up
I'm not at all saying you have autism
I'm saying doctors couldn't work out what was wrong with me ,they didn't really have the time or the actual knowledge about autism,so I researched myself .
If you have had all the treatment going and nothing has changed,maybe look in a different direction like I did

I agree

OP doesn’t say material stuff necessarily: “everything is expensive” can just mean existence. Housing, heating, eating, council tax, childcare. It is depressing to work relentlessly simply to exist, with neither money nor time leftover. Of course you can be rich and depressed but OP doesn’t preclude that possibility; she’s wondering why more of us aren’t ground down. But tbh I think everyone is! Thank goodness it’s spring, though: it might not change the mortgage or the audacious cost of a loaf, but sunshine is a tonic.

My mother has lost all empathy after decades on SSRI and anti-psychotic drugs. She cannot connect to others, no longer knows how to. She has no interest in the life events of those around her. Totally unmoved by anything. She hasn't cried for about ten years.

Apparently she used to be popular, altruistic, interested in things and people.

@marrarda I don't think your comment will go down well, but I agree. For some people, I think the drugs are just a cosh. They take away all feeling. And the ability to feel any sort of reward for normal, healthy human activity.

I don't even go on a semi average holiday once a year... work pay bills repeat not even once every 5 years. You should be more grateful for your semi average holidays and your semi average life. There's always someone out there with less than you and always someone out there with more.

Well make some changes then. Yes, we have to do jobs but have some perspective - do the least you can get away with, work your paid hours and then forgot about work. There's so many free and cheap things to enjoy

Gratitude and mindfulness make a big difference.

So many people on this thread have no idea what depression truly is/feels like.

Depression takes away your ability to feel pleasure, joy, excitement. You can't just "enjoy the little things" or suddenly find the motivation to make loads of changes in your life. It saps you of all that. Life feels hopeless, empty, dark. You can't just change your outlook. This is why many depressed people attempt suicide! If it was so easy to feel better, no one would.

Anyone on this thread who's never experienced depression, be grateful and stop making inane comments.