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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if you can leave your 4/5 year old while you do chores?

52 replies

lollilou2 · 17/03/2024 17:14

For example- putting your washing away upstairs, anything that involves leaving the room really?

Just curious!

YABU - you don’t leave your child.
YNBU- you leave your child while doing jobs.

OP posts:
NostalgicFreak · 17/03/2024 17:15

Yes all the time

DinnaeFashYersel · 17/03/2024 17:16

Mine are a bit older now but yes absolutely

Violettaa · 17/03/2024 17:17

Mine is 4.5.

Depending on her mood, yes, usually.

OhMN · 17/03/2024 17:17

Yes, I did. One of mine was impossible to leave though - she'd come and find me 😂. The other one would happily play by himself at that age while I did things round the house. It's also easier with two of them as they entertain each other...to a point

UpUpUpU · 17/03/2024 17:18

Yep!

Greaterthanthesumoftheparts · 17/03/2024 17:18

Yes. We don’t live inthe Uk, but here kids walk to school on their own from kindergarten. My DS was 4 years and 4 months when he first walked on his own (including crossing a main road at a zebra crossing). So leaving him playing while I do jobs around the house obviously isn’t an issue.

spriots · 17/03/2024 17:18

If he is on his tablet or watching TV, yes.

If he isn't, it depends - sometimes he is very absorbed in playing by himself and it's fine, sometimes he wants to be with me or to do something with me. So yes and no - if I pick my moment, yes, but there are definitely times when, no, he won't be left

mynameiscalypso · 17/03/2024 17:18

I do, yes. My 4.5 year old is very sensible and risk averse though. I am generally in the same room as him but I'll happily leave for 10/15 mins especially if he's busy playing something or watching TV. I think I have a slight tendency to helicopter though.

InTheRainOnATrain · 17/03/2024 17:20

Yes of course. Even my 3YO is ok if either he’s set up with a suitable activity and I don’t take too long, probably max 15 minutes, or I stick the TV on then it’s probably more about how much TV I actually want him watching rather than how long I can be out of the room for 🤣

Mumoftwo1312 · 17/03/2024 17:21

Dd is 3.5 and we can for short bursts. Depending on the chore though, it's sometimes easier to get her involved - particularly laundry and cooking

ZipZapZoom · 17/03/2024 17:23

Yes absolutely. I think most children would be fine at 3 to be honest for a short amount of time.

Parker231 · 17/03/2024 17:23

By ages4-5 they can take their own clean washing upstairs and also put dirty clothes in the laundry basket.

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 17/03/2024 17:25

By the time my eldest was 5 they had 2 younger siblings. I would have been in trouble if I couldn’t have left them!

parietal · 17/03/2024 17:28

I'd get the 4 year old to help with putting clothes away. They can learn to do it, at least to sort socks and put things in piles.

Sprogonthetyne · 17/03/2024 17:38

Yes if I can pick my moment and wait until she playing/watching TV. If I disappear when she's not distracted, she'd probably follow and insist on "helping". Usually I get about 10-15 minutes before one of the kids comes to find me.

YouAndMeAndThem · 17/03/2024 17:46

Yep, I can leave my 2.5 year old (with the TV on!) Easily. My nearly 6 year old tends to be off doing her own thing anyway, the only reason I have to go back to them is if they are fighting!

takealettermsjones · 17/03/2024 17:47

Yeah absolutely, you're in and out so checking in at intervals. Or get them to help.

Mumoftwo1312 · 17/03/2024 17:50

My dd has an ikea wardrobe and you can get these labels that hook onto the drawers with a diagram of what's in each section (socks, pants, tops etc). It helps her put her own clothes away. (We don't care about stuff being folded - she lives in jogger sets anyway)

Rosesanddaisies1 · 17/03/2024 17:53

Of course, from maybe age 3? How do you function otherwise?

Danascully2 · 17/03/2024 17:54

When mine were that age I could nip out to fetch something but only leave them for longer if the TV was on. Especially when my older one was that age and his baby brother was around as they weren't safe to be left together. I was very envious of people with quieter children who would sit and look at books/do jigsaws/draw etc...

Fast800 · 17/03/2024 17:54

Yes, of course. They usually put their own washing away after I’ve ironed and folded it.

NaomhPadraigin · 17/03/2024 17:54

Seriously, you think you can't leave a 5yr old in a room on their own???

Unless they're in the Bath, of course it's ok to leave them.

Muthaofcats · 17/03/2024 17:55

Yes how else do you function? If I have to get myself ready for work then I’ve got to go shower and get ready and leave 3 year old and 5 year old. Obv have made sure haven’t left out any thing dangerous and front door not openable etc

cakecoffeecakecoffee · 17/03/2024 18:02

Yes sometimes, but only very very quickly. And it usually ends in disaster.

ADHD/ASD and prone to doing ridiculously risky things with no warning.

spriots · 17/03/2024 18:04

Muthaofcats · 17/03/2024 17:55

Yes how else do you function? If I have to get myself ready for work then I’ve got to go shower and get ready and leave 3 year old and 5 year old. Obv have made sure haven’t left out any thing dangerous and front door not openable etc

My 4 year old is fine to be left but my 7 year old says he is "too scared" - he just comes with me. He will sit on my bed and read while I get dressed.

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