To ask if you can leave your 4/5 year old while you do chores?

[lollilou2]

For example- putting your washing away upstairs, anything that involves leaving the room really?

Just curious!

YABU - you don’t leave your child.
YNBU- you leave your child while doing jobs.

Yes absolutely, live in a small terrace though so can hear her. Wouldn't get anything done otherwise

Yes! Mine also helps, he can load the washing machine (not allowed to do the detergent), he makes his own bed, feeds the cat, he can and likes using the extendable feather duster for cobwebs (old house high ceilings) and the other day he dropped some pencil sharpenings on the carpet and the first I knew of it was when I heard the hoover (cordless) , because I was in the kitchen cooking dinner. He's five and not six until December. I hang his uniform on his radiator the night before and he gets himself dressed after breakfast while I get dressed and DH showers.
Unless there are additional needs you should be able to leave a 4-5 year old in another room while you do something. DS is very high energy and not a naturally compliant child, but he knows that things need to be done and we all muck in.

I leave her, whether or not she follows is another question.

I leave my 2 & 4yo all the time. I don't leave them if they're eating, though. The 2yo always wants to come with me which is a bit of a pain in the butt if I'm trying to put things away, but generally they're happy to stay downstairs on their own

Did you mean 4/5 months?

Thanks all! I ask because I can’t leave my 4.5 year old at all 😅if he notices I’m not there (or his dad) he screams! It’s lucky my toilet is downstairs, and kitchen and living room are open plan! He’s not confident with stairs so maybe that’s why.

Is there a reason he isn’t confident on stairs?

I can and mine is 2 and a half.

We have gates/high up locks on doors and I make sure any rooms I don't want him going into are inaccessible while I crack on with things like laundry etc. We live in a small home so he's never far from me at all. I can hear everything he's doing and can quickly and easily peek to see he's ok. Our home is very toddler proofed too.

Often I'll do laundry/wash dishes/etc in the kitchen while he's having his lunch anyway but if he's playing and I need to get things done he's absolutely fine as everything is gated/locked as need be.

Yes. He’s not quite 4 yet, and he’s been roaming around the house with and without us for ages.

Often for chores he follows as wants to, but if he’s happy playing or whatever I will do what I need to or cook etc. He often goes to his bedroom alone to get things or play a while. The stairs are fine

How is he managing at school when you’re not around all day?

Yes. Both my kids have been left alone in a playpen or their cot, with appropriate toys, from about 6 months old, so I can have a shower or do a quick housework task for 10 minutes. This obsession with having them within a metre 24/7 isn’t workable for me at all.

I can in the sense that she's sensible and wouldn't do anything silly.
She's uber sociable though and won't entertain herself so unless the TV is on she starts mithering after 5 minutes or so.

Is he at school yet or nursery how does he cope away from you both during the day?

Also why is he not confident on stairs that's pretty unusual for a 4 year old?

I leave the room but he follows me as soon as he realises!

I’ve been able to do that with my 3.5 year old for about a year.

He’s confident on the stairs, it’s me that gets nervous for him. Maybe I should relax a bit.

Yap unless she not happy

Yes but they often follow me around if they're not in front of a screen.

Yup, in fact I think the only time I was anxious about leaving was just after they learned to walk/climb. But by three fine for a few minutes and 4/5 no problem!

Isn't your child at school though OP? Presumably he doesn't have 1:1 attention from an adult there?

If a 4.5YO genuinely can’t walk up/down stairs properly, and it’s not a you being anxious issue, then you need to see the GP. Have school or nursery raised any concerns about his gross motor skills?

To add: walking up stairs is on the milestone checklist for 24 months, or at least it is in the US. If your 4.5YO can’t do this I’d definitely speak to school about his gross motor skills and consider making a GP’s appointment. I think not wanting to play on his own is normal enough though, some kids are just like that!

Sorry should have mentioned - he is getting help from physio for his motor skills. He has low muscle tone.
He hardly copes at school tbh, he won’t talk, or socialise.

It sounds like there are some additional needs so I don’t know how realistic it is for you to benchmark against what other 4-5YOs are doing??

Of course yes, they need to learn to entertain themselves

@InTheRainOnATrain I totally agree. It just got me thinking really. I know some parents won’t leave their child alone at all, and some who don’t mind having a bath while their child is downstairs. Just wondered what the general consensus was ☺️