I would love to hear what others think but sorry for the ramble.
My boyfriend and his ex have quite a strained relationship (or so he says). They have a child together and everytime she says jump, he asks how high. We have been together nearly 2 years and although they were separated when we met, she has always been horrible.about me. She wouldn't let me see their son for nearly a year. Then my boyfriend put his foot down and said he had decided I was safe enough. She says horrible things about my job and belittles me. Their son has mentioned some things she has said. At Xmas she made us all leave a family visit at 6.30am so we would be back for 9am for a santa visit (at this event my brother's SIL took me aside and said she thought i was putting up with a lot).
His ex changed plans on my boyfriend's birthday in Decemember and instead of his son staying over with him to celebrate, she asked for him.back. I suggested she pick him up from my house as this is where my partner and his son were and my partner had had a celebratory drink at a pantomime we went to.She refused and made them walk in torrential rain to her as she didn't want to come near my house.
I have seen texts from her to my boyfriend saying I am emotionally unstable and she doesn't want her son around me. My boyfriend never sticks up for me. She is always keen to know if we argue and one time my boyfriend said we had a fall out and she asked him around to her house. I have told my boyfriend how disrespected I feel.by her (and him). My boyfriend.says she is toxic and controlling. Despite putting her down, however, I found he.texted her to wish her happy birthday yesterday in the morning. This has hurt and confused me but I don't know if IABU. I do feel humiliated.as she was out with her sister and they must have wondered why he was texting her when he is with me. When I raised it with him.he got angry with me.
His ex wanted us to change our plans with their son today. It was not possible but he sent her the longest apologetic text ever. The reason we couldn't change it was because I bought tickets for my boyfriend, his son and I to go to an event - with careful planning from my boyfriend weeks ago. I wasn't sure why he was apologising as neither he nor I did.anything wrong. He was saying he really hoped she was able.to still.have a good birthday. I saw other texts he had sent her recently which were him trying to reach out with news about someone they both knew dying. He never told me and i should be the one supporting him with this. And from the tone of the texts his ex clearly wasnt interested in his messages.I feel such a mug that he is texting her but AIBU?. I have also noticed he has stopped caring about his appearance around me. I really think I need to let him go as he clearly isn't putting me first/being honest about their relationship/making enough effort with me. What do you think?