How much support with personal care would you expect a 10 year old to need?

[DarcyHargrove]

Do you still:

Clip nails
Help with showers
Supervise teeth brushing
Remind to wear deodorant
Can they wipe themselves properly (no stained underwear)

Would you still expect to do these things for a 10 year old with no learning difficulties.

Clip nails, force into shower (but does shower self), remind to brush teeth and hair, doesn't need deodorant yet but my 13 year old has only just got in the habit of remembering this. They also forget to wash their face!

I think at 10 they should be more than capable of bum wiping, teeth cleaning and showering although used to have to tell DS to go shower rather than him just doing it. Used to clip nails and nag to remember deodorant I think.

As above. I dp nails. Force him into thr shower. Then force him back in the shower because his hair is hardly wet. He cleans himself in the shower and after toilet use. He's not bad at doing his teeth. It's not very often I have to supervise that.

No deodorant needed yet

It’s been a while but fairly sure I used to clip nails. All the rest they did independently although I probably reminded them to go and have a shower/asked them if they’d clean their teeth etc. I definitely didn’t get involved with toiletting (although would have asked them to clean up if loo left messy etc)

First response nails it! Have to remind to check the loo is clean after they’ve used it but no issues with underwear.

Reminders for most but no help needed with anything (she can cut her own nails)!

I think I may have still helped with nails but they were independent with the rest.

My GC can do all of them, but she is top of her classand very physically able, was the first to be able to use a pen etc. I could imagine that some of the less able children might need help and lots would need reminding/supervision.

Mine is 12 and has SEN. We have pushed a lot of recent improvements. He prefers baths and will willingly go and take one but needs reminding re soap. Teeth he's pretty good, Hair and deodorant he needs reminding some days.
He's not great at wiping but it's more that he gets chafing so we give him wipes and a tube of solid body balm and leave him to sort that out. Haven't noticed any skid marks.

DD 10 needs help to cut her nails, and help with washing her hair, as she has lots of it. Everything else she can manage herself, unsupervised, including now blow drying her hair.

We prompt or check they have done it but mostly they can initiate and complete independently (just turned 9).

I still did DS's nails at that age but he did everything else himself. He didn't need deodorant at that age, not many 10 year olds do unless they start puberty early.

My almost 10yr old does all of those without prompting except the teeth which I have watch happen. She's suddenly become much more aware of being clean and volunteers for her own showers and puts deodorant on without prompting. I imagine there's a chasm between girls and boys on this though.

I don’t do any of that for my 11 yo ds and haven’t for a couple of years. Dd I do clip toenails, she’s 8. She does the rest herself (bar deodorant as she doesn’t need it yet)

Mine can do all of those things but needs reminding for all of them

My 10 year old struggles with all of these and I’m just at my wits end. My toddler seems to be able to do more than her.

I do a lot of these for my 8 year old.

DD is 8, nearly 9.

she needs help with her nails but can do the rest independently.
she can shower herself but likes me to sit in the bathroom for a chat while she does it.

By 10 the only things DD needed help with was drying her hair. Even this she could do, but I preferred to do it cos it was easier.

DS would still like us to blow dry his (short) hair now aged 11. We have refused for ages now so he just towel dries it.

Is it can't do the tasks, or gets distracted and forgets?
Are there other 'remembering' / ordering issues?

Out of that list the only thing I need to do for DS is clip his nails (he doesn't need deodorant yet).
He's 6.

Nope.
Does all of this independently and has done for a couple of years.

It’s training for life i think, along with cooking, cleaning up after themselves, loading dishwasher, laundry in laundry basket, making packed lunches etc etc.

Why do you ask OP are you worried about something?

She just doesn’t want to. Every morning is a battle to get her to clean her teeth, brush her hair etc. she has no pride in her appearance at all. She doesn’t wipe herself properly. And it’s not because she can’t, because she’s very capable and very accomplished in other things (things she wants to do!) but her hygiene is just revolting.

DD couldn't do most of those at 10 or 11, she doesn't have learning difficulties but she is autistic and has some coordination issues as part of that. At 13 she can do it all although she still needs reminders.

No!!!
I've not done any of this for years with my 10 year old.

He will also;
Change his own bed
Make a cake, biscuits or pizza or simple supper without input or help from me
Get ready for school
Use the washing machine

I've always been adamant he will be a useful and capable adult. My daughter (9) is the same.