To ignore son's claims about not being able to hear?

[SpinningTopps]

Ds is 5 and has started to say he can't hear properly. He says he thinks he is deaf. But if I whisper he appears to hear everything I say. I think his hearing is fine.
I've looked into children's hearing tests and it seems you need a referral which seems a step too far.
AIBU to just assume all is fine or can you have hearing loss where you can hear whispers but other things are affected?

You might be able to self refer to audiology- I did for my son

@SpinningTopps I remember wondering if my DS could hear properly at that age and booked him a hearing test at the GP surgery. He passed with flying colours. He did, however, get an ASD diagnosis at the age of 6.

Are you whispering close by or from a distance?

I have hearing loss. I can hear some things well and others not. I could hear a whisper next to me but not a conversation a few metres away.

I wear hearing aids now but have had hearing loss all my life. I have huge regret for not getting hearing aids earlier.

Take your child to the gp.

You need to take him to the GP and get the referral.

As parts of being assessed for autism my son had to have a hearing test anyway so it's likely you'd end up doing this.

You can't be sure. Just because he can hear whispers, it doesn't mean he can hear everything.

I'm glad you're going to take him it's really really important.

@ohtowinthelottery that's interesting.
The thing is I don't have any concerns about his hearing. To me he can hear fine. Obviously after this thread I have realised that this doesn't necessarily mean there isn't an issue.
It's him who thinks he has difficulty hearing. If I probe though he says he can hear the teacher and hear me so difficult to know what the problem is ...
The only thing I notice is that he doesn't always hear me / listen if somewhere busy, which I've assumed is because there's too much other stuff going on rather than a physical hearing issue.
Someone in his class has hearing aids. He might just want some because they look cool to him.

You don't need a referral, just book one at an optician's eg specsavers

I tried whispering to him in the car and he heard fine even with noisy car sounds. So I thought that was a good test.

They don't do children's tests.

@SpinningTopps

I tried whispering to him in the car and he heard fine even with noisy car sounds. So I thought that was a good test.

If that's a frequency and tone that's in his range then he could still hear that and not other things.

I can hear some people quite well but not others as their tone is outside my range.

I have auditory processing difficulties and one of my DC inherited it and was severely affected. Fortunately it is treatable and now has near perfect hearing.

We are a ND family and I wonder if it's more common amongst ND population?

@SpinningTopps I thought my DS had selective hearing rather than being deaf but nevertheless he didn't always appear to hear, but it was probably more that he didn't 'listen', or just didn't process.
I suppose it's possible your DS may be influenced by seeing another child with hearing aids - my DD had a wheelchair and I remember DS saying it wasn't fair he had to walk everywhere whilst his sister got to be pushed in a wheelchair. Not sure if that was 5 year old logic or ASD black and white thinking!

This, I was told that the ear canal isn’t properly formed until about seven or eight years, so there is more likelihood of a residual build up infection following a cold in a child’s ear.

OP please get him checked, if his hearing is reduced then he is missing out on vital early learning, phonics, vocabulary etc which could really harm his learning, and just as importantly hamper his social skills.

lol, this just reminded me. Dd had her sight and hearing checked in reception and everything was fine. Then in yr2 she told me she struggled to see - I decided that this was because of quite a bit of positive fuss over a child in her year getting glasses.

I took her to get her eyes checked, supremely confident that there was nothing wrong with her but making, what I thought, a good attempt to not show that. The optician did their stuff, turned round to me and said “actually, she does need glasses” at which point dd piped up “Ha! I told you!”

in my defence she is prone to a bit of hypochondria (as am I if I’m honest) and I have had that moment of feeling embarrassed about being at the GP surgery again. But what can you do? If they consistently complain of a particular symptom you have to escalate it and get it checked out 🤷‍♀️

Also, you say he doesn’t hear in busy environments, this is true of many areas of hearing loss, my hearing of speech is poor, but becomes non existent if there is back ground noise like music or loud speaking , or if I can’t see the speakers face clearly ( I suspect I do a lot of lip reading!) . A busy classroom is a hard place to know where to focus your attention. If he does have some hearing loss , and it could well be that it is temporary due to glue ear, I would push very hard for grommets and also make sure the teacher understands the needs of a child with poor hearing, putting him where he can see her face clearly in good light for example.

He has had a recent ear infection and does get them a lot.

Even more reason to get him checked out, why wouldn't you?

It makes months for their brains to relearn to hear 100% after the gunk has completely cleared. If he has glue ear frequently he's probably never hearing as well as he should be able to.

Grommets may be needed.

Deafness can be mistaken for Autism. E.g behaviour of placing head against objects that vibrate, like a washing machine (frequency helps them to hear better), get him checked. He should be checked before the autism assessment

A friend's daughter (she's about 4 or 5) has Autism. She had to have a hearing test first.

Just take him to see his gp. It might be a wax build up.

Definitely take him to a doctor.

When u was younger, I told my mother something was wrong with my eyes. I could still see, could still read, could even test fine on a vision test, no redness, etc, but I knew there was a problem. I have a chronically ill sibling, and she was tired of being constantly at doctors, so after a standard GP visit we never investigated further. Every time for the next year when I mentioned my eyes, I just got told to lay down with a wet washcloth over them.

I temporarily lost all vision in my left eye and partial vision in my right eye about a year after I started complaining. Luckily, most damage was reversible but that treatment was painful and invasive. It turns out I have a chronic eye condition that needs daily medication; had I been diagnosed earlier I would have much better vision now.

I'm not saying this is the case for your son, but please don't dismiss him off the bat. Kids really do often know when something is wrong, even if it's not immediately apparent to adults.

Even if they say his hearing is fine or its an processing issue it might be helpful going forward for the psychiatrists doing the asd assessment.

My sister recently went for a hearing test and they told her that her hearing is fine and she has a processing issue and she should be referred for an adhd assessment. I have adhd so this would make perfect sense to be honest but because she didn't present in the same way that I do she may never have thought to do it.

I would think a sensory processing issue on file would be a fairly big help for psychiatrists making a diagnosis and deciding what support needs to put in place for him. If it turns out he does have hearing frequency issues instead that might explain some symptoms that look like asd too so I can't really see any negatives in getting this done.

I wouldn't worry about going to the doctors too much either. Sometimes people are just unlucky or its part of a bigger picture and gps should know this really.

I recently had glue ear and it's not a nice feeling to feel like your going deaf, it changes your perception of hearing things, which is worried me, and understood what it was.

my gp sent me for a hearing test to be sure.

It is really easy to just ask for a referral to audiology for a hearing test. I have both been the parent of a child where it turned out to be unnecessary and where it turned out to be wholly necessary. They were really good with my DC, the one who did have hearing issues and the one who didn't. Very progressional. There was no judgement on me as a fussy parent. Same as when I took them to the opticians for an eye test (no eye problems). It feels like a bigger deal because you need referring, but that's only because they are highly specialised to do the hearing tests on uncooperative children! It is also the first step if you do think there is a neurodivergent cause of the 'hearing' issue, as it's part of the autism screening process and the first step in a diagnosis of auditory processing disorder, also.

Get him a hearing test. I was born with genetic hearing loss and the things I can/can't hear confuse the fuck out of my own family (and all of us have it! Though it does present differently in us all).

There are times I can't hear a blaring alarm next to me and times where I can hear a soft cats meows from three rooms away. In general I really struggle to hear voices and have to lip-read a lot but some people just have magic voices and I can hear every word they say. The opposite also happens - some people I just can't understand at all no matter how much I try.

You can usually just phone your GP and ask for a referral to audiology - I've done it a few times as I've moved around the country and needed to register in new areas for hearing-aid services. I've never needed an actual GP appointment for it.

There can also be non-deafness related issues that affect hearing and it's good to try and figure out if something like that is going on too before he gets too deep into school and starts falling behind.