To be worried about being around relative on chemo while pregnant?

[Isitsafeornot]

It’s one of our lovely relative’s birthday tomorrow. She is on a really intensive course of chemotherapy, combination of IV drips and tablet. We planned to take round her present and call in for a coffee and catch up etc. It would be really nice to see them if we can.

However, I’m 5 weeks pregnant and it’s just popped into my head this evening to wonder if I should be worried about it?

The risks of being around someone on chemo are unknown but greatest in the first trimester according to google. The drug comes out in bodily fluids, urine, vomit, saliva etc and she is quite affectionate and would always usually hug and kiss people to greet them and the like. It wouldn’t be possible or kind to really ask her to not do this in her own home without risking upsetting her on her birthday. I am scared I would be sat on the settee and in conversation (as can happen) that she might accidentally spit and it land on me, or something like that.

I am probably being irrational here but I don’t know if it’s better for us both that I stay away? I also work with young children and know this relative is immunosuppressed atm because of the treatment so I’d hate to be carrying a cold or something, and unknowingly pass something to her which makes her unwell at this time.

What do you think?

I think you are definitely being irrational. If anything, being on chemo you are more of a threat to her than she is to you.

I do worry about that like I say, some of the children I work with have been poorly with colds this week and I’m paranoid I could have got that virus and might give it to her.

It is utterly safe for you but you are definitely more of a risk if they are immunocompromised!

You're definitely being irrational. I can understand why. But as pp said you are likely more of a risk to her than her to you.
If it concerns you hugely, then just don't go.

Unless you somehow got loads of her spit/vomit in your mouth I don’t see how she would be a risk to you! I wouldn’t go if I was poorly for her sake but I wouldn’t be worried about my pregnancy for myself.

Not sure where you're getting your information, but the risk is absolutely minimal to you - it's radiation therapy that is an issue. You're the bigger risk to her!

You need to double check as my MIL did a therapy that meant she was not meant to be around clinically vulnerable people including pregnant women.

You could always have a conversation about the treatment and ask if they had any recommendations or advice for avoiding situations

Chypre · Today 22:32
Thats a bit of an insensitive comment!!

It is safe to be around them. I was early in my pg when I was sat with my dm whilst she had chemotherapy. My dm was worried for me, but upon talking with the nurses/drs they reassured my dm I would be fine.

I don't think you're being irrational. I was on fairly standard chemo for breast cancer and was told to do things like put the loo seat down before flushing and have my own towels.

You’re fine. She’s on chemo, she could probably do with a hug.

Seriously?

💯

Not everyone- apart from my hair falling out and being a bit tired I was absolutely fine!

weebarra · Today 22:35
i was told the same, only for a week after my Iv drip. Flush the toilet twice, toilet lid down, use my own cup. Everything else was fine, hugging, visiting.

My friend was told to flush twice too by the hospital.

Okay, I’m reading it back now. I am really not trying to be selfish and insensitive and I feel crap and inconsiderate for even writing this post. I’ve lost a pregnancy before and will do everything I can to keep this one safe, and avoid any risks that might be around. Of course it’s a horrible situation for our dear relative and utterly shit that she’s got to go through it, I can’t imagine how difficult and scary a time it must be for her.

@Shityshitybangbang well my experience with chemo has been grim, sorry.

A million chemo nurses can't be wrong (mostly women cos of the hrs ) .I really think you have too much time on your hands .

It depends on the chemo; with strong breast cancer chemo treatments women are indeed sometimes asked to do that thing with the loo seat for just the first 48 hours after the treatment and to have no penetrative sex for that period of time. But just for the first 48 hours.
But chemo drugs do vary wildly in potency.

Hopefully not.

My best friend is having chemo. She is usually wiped out on the day of the chemo, but I see her most weeks and she is up and about.

Makes total sense to be anxious OP, pregnancy can be a nerve wracking time let alone when you’ve had a loss. Honestly I’m sure it’ll be fine, hope your relative is on the road to recovery 💐

I've heard it all now.

Oh you are going to be a joy for the next 35 weeks.