To be worried about being around relative on chemo while pregnant?

[Isitsafeornot]

It’s one of our lovely relative’s birthday tomorrow. She is on a really intensive course of chemotherapy, combination of IV drips and tablet. We planned to take round her present and call in for a coffee and catch up etc. It would be really nice to see them if we can.

However, I’m 5 weeks pregnant and it’s just popped into my head this evening to wonder if I should be worried about it?

The risks of being around someone on chemo are unknown but greatest in the first trimester according to google. The drug comes out in bodily fluids, urine, vomit, saliva etc and she is quite affectionate and would always usually hug and kiss people to greet them and the like. It wouldn’t be possible or kind to really ask her to not do this in her own home without risking upsetting her on her birthday. I am scared I would be sat on the settee and in conversation (as can happen) that she might accidentally spit and it land on me, or something like that.

I am probably being irrational here but I don’t know if it’s better for us both that I stay away? I also work with young children and know this relative is immunosuppressed atm because of the treatment so I’d hate to be carrying a cold or something, and unknowingly pass something to her which makes her unwell at this time.

What do you think?

Thanks so much for this, really really useful xxx

Fucking hell, some of the shitty responses on here to an anxious, pregnant woman is shocking.

There are absolutely some chemo treatments, some radiotherapy patients having certain treatment, and some dyes that are used in patients having certain CT scans, need to be kept away from whilst pregnant.

And the op asking the question is totally reasonable.

I think when you've been through a loss, you're even more aware of potential risks to your baby. I don't think there is an enormous risk in the situation you're describing, but I also don't think you're unreasonable to be concerned - and, given you've highlighted concerns for you relative's wellbeing too, it's not just about you and your baby. Maybe speak to your midwife and check. And make sure your relative is comfortable too. Best of luck with your pregnancy - and to your relative with their treatment too x

You will be fine. There are very simple precautions patients should follow after chemotherapy treatments to minimise risk of contaminating others with it, and it is all about bodily fluids.

Avoid sharing cutlery and cups as she is on oral chemo, and if you think she may not have double flushed after using the toilet you are about to use, then flush it first.

Avoid sharing cutlery and cups

Do you normally share cutlery and cups with people you go to visit? 🤔

If a member of my extended family says "Have you had this drink before? Here try it" then I will have a swig out of their bottle or cup, yes. Same with close friends.

It's fine to have concerns and think it all over beforehand, you'll feel more in control if you have a plan to manage the things you feel anxious about.

I don't know if it depends at all on the type of chemo. I have certainly read guidelines regarding hygiene with chemo patients, but thought they were likely more targeted to people who live with the patient, share bathrooms, etc, or people who are caregivers or psws and may be dealing with cleaning up body fluids. In those cases sensible precautions can be taken. I don't think one-off casual contact is at all likely to result in any issues. She's not going to spit in your face like a llama and if she does you may want to reconsider your contact with her anyway.

As some have said you're more of a risk to her if you've potentially been in contact with illness.

Avoid shagging or snogging her 😁, don't wipe up her body fluids, use PPE if you are feeling cautious, or if she requests it, or if you know you've been exposed to something. If you don't want to be hugged and kissed, you could step back and say firmly that you don't know what you've been in contact with and aren't willing to risk her health, or that you have been in contact with someone ill if that is the case. Or say that you've had some symptoms (anything, nausea, headache, cough) and would prefer to keep a distance.

And follow good hygiene. Don't drink out of the same glass, flush the loo before and after with lid down and wash yourself well without recontaminating your hands, no reason you can't bring your own paper towels, wipes and even toilet seat covers if you like (this is how I survive hospital loos which are dystopian cesspits of biohorror). In general wash your hands before touching your eyes, nose or mouth, or sanitise at least. If you're a vampire, avoid draining her no matter how tempting her swanlike neck may be. 🧛‍♀️

Don't be made to feel bad for questioning this.
I remember having these kind of intense anxieties in my early pregnancy.

When a close relative of mine was having chemotherapy they were indeed told to be careful with loo flushing etc, like other posters have said. However, I'm sure the risk to you would be very low - I suspect it's more a precaution for those living with the patient, or providing personal care, who may be repeatedly exposed to some particularly nasty drugs.

Good luck with your pregnancy OP.

Probably overthinking this. I was around my dad daily while I was pregnant and he had chemo, never entered my head that it would be a problem. There’s also a big difference with the drugs used, so to make a really informed choice you would need to know what treatment she is actually having.

You are being completely unreasonable. You and your baby will be fine.

The only risk here is from you to your relative.

If you're sick or run down you should stay away from them.

You are not being unreasonable or irrational to ask these questions. Does she know you are pregnant? I’d tell her and ask her if she knows about any risk to your baby.

I’m not sure about the loo flushing with the lid down as a safety thing as some people have said as I read a recent report that there is also as much spray in the air from the side of the loo seat when the lid is down as when it is open but it just goes sideways instead of up.

At least if it goes sideways it's less likely to hit you in the face, I guess?

The only alternative I can think of is to depress the flushing handle and immediately leap out of the loo like a young gazelle startled at the waterhole by a prowling lion.

I work at a vets and I am currently pregnant. Even though we wear a gown and gloves when handling our cytotoxic (chemo) patients I am still not allowed to go near them. I don't handle them, clean their kennels, touch their food, water bowls and bedding and don't touch their drugs etc. as it can be passed through bodily fluids. I am sure the risk for me is very low but it is still not worth the risk and it is company policy that pregnant staff stay away from cytotoxic patients. I also had to tell colleagues at work I was pregnant from 4 weeks for this reason.

I am sure the chance of you being in contact with bodily fluids will be much lower than it is for me at work, but it is completely understandable and sensible you having these concerns. I would def discuss with a doctor or midwife prior to visiting and if you feel able to I would have an honest conversation with your relative.

I think some of the answers here are going to increase your anxiety OP. The fact is you are visiting for a short period of time in the grand scheme, and will not be handling body waste from your relative. As a PP has said, chemo nurses (myself included) have delivered chemotherapy and been around cancer patients through our pregnancies. We also administer chemotherapy to pregnant women, albeit altered regimens. Your risk is unbelievably low, you could be sat next to someone on a bus on chemo and you wouldn’t know. In the kindest way possible you need to take a pragmatic approach during pregnancy otherwise you will end up an anxious mess.

As PP have said, you are a greater risk to your relative but they have obviously weighed up the pros and cons and decided not to shut themselves away.

You're only 5 weeks pregnant and are in for a rocky road if your anxiety is already this bad.

Sorry if that sounded harsh and congrats on your pregnancy

So the recommendation is to not be in contact with body fluids, 24-48hrs after- so basically double flush the toilet (the person having chemo) and you can wipe the seat before you use it. If you look up recommendations from the cancer council, that should be able to put your mind at ease.

If you feel uncomfortable can you find a middle ground. Visit but tell her as much as you’d love to give her a big cuddle you’re going to play it safe and stay at a distance because you’ve been around lots of snotty kids this week and wouldn’t want to pass anything on.

Your biggest risk is the journey to your relative whether it be driving or walking and having to cross roads.
People I know who work in oncology are not allowed to draw up the injections from the vial or to deal with spills etc if pregnant.
There are even women who have chemo during their pregnancy in the mid trimester with a healthy baby being delivered at about 32 weeks.

It’s quite incredible that there are so many posters willing to jump on the OP for a perfectly reasonable question, and then state confidently and erroneously that there are no risks at all.

As others who actually know what they are talking about have said, it’s not an illogical concern, and in some few cases there are risks, albeit small ones.

Fortunately the OP’s relative will have been told whether there are any additional precautions to be taken, and will be observing them, if there are any.

It's okay to think about yourself in this situation. I would do too. It doesn't diminish how much you care about your friend.

Ignore the mean posters!

Hope you are okay and congratulations on the pregnancy!! Keep asking questions ❤️

Was that not for your benefit though?

Everyone should put down the loo seat before flushing!

No, it was so that cytotoxic molecules weren't floating about.

You’re not ‘overthinking’ OP; you’re just thinking! Although the risk is low, it’s both normal and right for a mother to worry about her child and try to balance risks and everyone’s needs.

Your relative going through chemo undoubtedly needs your support but this doesn’t have to mean a face-to-face visit inside her home. You could do regular calls/ video calls instead, drop off presents, send her little texts and memes daily, etc.

If you decide to visit in person then you can modify the visit to minimize the risks both to your relative and you. For example, perhaps try to keep a bit of distance (no hugging), keep the visit short, and avoid using her bathroom if you can. You can also decline food and drink to further reduce the risk. All of this can be done in a tactful way, by telling her you’re worried about the risk to her (which is true) and not wanting to overtire her.