To be worried about being around relative on chemo while pregnant?

[Isitsafeornot]

It’s one of our lovely relative’s birthday tomorrow. She is on a really intensive course of chemotherapy, combination of IV drips and tablet. We planned to take round her present and call in for a coffee and catch up etc. It would be really nice to see them if we can.

However, I’m 5 weeks pregnant and it’s just popped into my head this evening to wonder if I should be worried about it?

The risks of being around someone on chemo are unknown but greatest in the first trimester according to google. The drug comes out in bodily fluids, urine, vomit, saliva etc and she is quite affectionate and would always usually hug and kiss people to greet them and the like. It wouldn’t be possible or kind to really ask her to not do this in her own home without risking upsetting her on her birthday. I am scared I would be sat on the settee and in conversation (as can happen) that she might accidentally spit and it land on me, or something like that.

I am probably being irrational here but I don’t know if it’s better for us both that I stay away? I also work with young children and know this relative is immunosuppressed atm because of the treatment so I’d hate to be carrying a cold or something, and unknowingly pass something to her which makes her unwell at this time.

What do you think?

No, you do need to know what she's on.

I had a coworker whose regimen included thalidomide and he was instructed by his doctors to ask the women he was in contact with about pregnancy because of the transfer risk.

@AmiablePedant - I don't remember getting the guidance on penetrative sex but I have to say it wasn't the first thing on my mind 😂

Thank you for being so understanding and kind. I hope she’ll be fine too, she’s a tough cookie

Chypre · Today 22:40
i meant interacting with people, not how i felt on chemo. I have just finished chemo too and had a few crap days.

At least I’m not rude to people who are clearly worried and trying to do the best thing by everyone.

People - she's had a loss, it just occurred to her, I think her thoughts are totally valid and don't mean she values her relative any less.
I've had chemo and radiotherapy and isotope treatment where I couldn't be near my children for 48 hours.
It's better to be safe than sorry.

Use this to your advantage and wear a mask?

I understand your concern. Would it help to tell the relative that you are pregnant?

Thank you so much. I really haven’t meant to come across horribly it’s just a difficult situation to be in.

You haven’t come across horribly @Isitsafeornot. You are concerned.

If your worried ask your midwife what she thinks, I worried about things when I was pregnant the first time that people thought were irrational but in my mind they were not. Also maybe mention to your relative you have been around poorly people she might cancel on you.
Also congratulations on your pregnancy and i understand why you are apprehensive, lots of love ❤️

She is zero risk to you.

You will meet people every day who are taking drugs that pregnant women shouldn't take. They don't magically jump from person to person. You are being very irrational and you will be fine. No need to worry. Also you are no more risk to her than any other person who is out and about.

Surely that was to reduce the risk of you catching something?

I had the exact same thought when I was pregnant and I had a relative who was on chemo, but it was absolutely fine. As others have said you are actually more of a risk to your relative really.
I had an honest chat with my relative and when she pointed out that it is safe because some pregnant women actually receive chemo themselves I realised I was being ridiculous.

A friend whose DD was on chemo last year had to change the bed sheets with gloves and wearing a mask, wash them and all her clothes and towels separately. As a practical matter she socially distanced herself during this time to protect her DD.

I had never heard of such a thing and it seems it's down to particular chemo regimes and practices.

For the OP, her relative will surely have been told what the risks are for her.

You haven't come across badly at all. Unlike some PPs. Just ignore them. It's perfectly understandable that you're concerned and it's not irrational.

I don't think you're being irrational. You're behaving based on your past experience and out of fear. When I was pregnant I quit the gym- my rational brain knew it was no risk to my baby, but I had had a mc and I knew that if anything happened I'd irrationally blame the gym and myself. So I quit. I'm so glad I did, I ended up having another mc. I know I'd have blamed myself. So it was an act of self preservation rather than common sense.

You're not the one coming across badly here OP, trust me.

I wish you well in your pregnancy and hope your relative recovers quickly.

Radiotherapy, a swift no.
Chemo is ok, OP. But as one poster said, check with the midwife. But if your relative undergoes radiotherapy as well, it’s safer to avoid (again, talk to your midwife).
In all honesty, I should add, your relative’s consultant would have made it clear if contact was risky.

Op I think on this occasion you are better off looking this up online and reading from a trusted site because there are alot of ppl here telling you that you are being irrational when in actual fact there are safety concerns regarding being around ppl who are having chemo. The risk is small and like you have mentioned is linked to body fluids or even chemo medication perscribed. It's not likely you will come into contact with this but not impossible either. If you are worried or you are going to dedicate time afterwards worrying about this I just wouldn't go. If you don't want to offend your relative (I'm sure they will be understanding) maybe tell them that the kids you work with all have colds and don't want to risk making said relative sick. Ask your midwife next time you are with them if you still have questions.

And by the way, you are perfectly reasonable here! It’s a legitimate concern. And it’s good to get reassurance.

You're absolutely fine unless she's receiving a radioactive isotope, such as radium 223 or immediately after a PET or bone scan when she'd be mildly radioactive afterwards and close prolonged contact should be avoided. I'm a chemo nurse and have given patients countless chemos whilst pregnant myself.

Is it fine even if she is on the tablets? She is having a day of IV drip followed by I think two weeks of tablets then maybe a week or two break between rounds. She’s at the tablets stage. Thinking I could wait in the car even and send DH in so she gets her present. Say DH gave her a hug/kiss or used their toilet, would I then be ok to hug and kiss DH on the same day? I’m probably being so silly here.

Thank you. This is good advice

I kept away from my children and their families for the whole period I was having chemo (about 4 months). None of us wanted me to risk their germs. I treated the period like the height of Covid.
Frankly if they'd visited (they live a couple of hundred miles away, so I don't see them often anyway) I'd have wanted to meet outdoors and kept several feet away. So there would have been no risk to any of them from my drugs.
With the chemo I had I didn't feel too bad at all, but of course what you are given is specific to the type of cancer.

Yes it's fine. The tablets are chemotherapy, it is excreted in her bodily fluids but in such minute amounts you'd have to ingest every drop of bodily fluids she excreted for 24hours or more to receive any drugs.... and even then they would have been metabolised by her system and likely to be inert.
The only concern is radiation, if she's had a PET scan or bone scan she's mildly radioactive for 24 hours afterwards and prolonged close contact should be avoided. If she's receiving an IV radioactive isotope drug called radium 223 she'd be excreting alpha radiation for up to a week afterwards mainly in her faeces.
You can confidently see her, hug her, kiss her and spend the the day with her if she's on chemo. She may be vulnerable to infection though, don't go if you have a cold/cough /virus.