Who should be waking up early, me or BF?

[Bella445]

Hello,

This isn’t a big deal but the convo has popped up twice between myself and BF lol

I have been with BF for 2 years now and just started living together. We are now a family of 4 with both a DD each from previous relationships.

I have a 11 year old DD and he has a 4 year old DD. I have my DD full time, he has custody 50/50 with his ex partner.

DD (11yo) gets up around 8ish on the weekends and goes downstairs herself, will make cereal and watch TV and chill out. I tend to wake up about 9ish. She’s self sufficient and doesn’t need help in the mornings. I get little lie ins at weekends for 30mins/1hr.

DD (4yo) obviously needs an adult to be up with her when she wakes up around 6am.

He currently gets up early with her like 80% of the time but he says I should get up early with her more so he can have a lie in. He wants more 50/50 lie ins.
When I do get up with her she wants her Daddy so I have to pretend “Daddy’s at work” or “Daddy’s at the shops” just so that she doesn’t go upstairs to find him. I usually just cuddle with her on the sofa/play games/make pancakes, we have fun 😊

But AIBU to think he should be getting up with her more than me? Not 50/50? Lol don’t crucify me I’m new to this, this is my first serious relationship with someone after having my DD 11 years ago so it’s new territory.

I’ve done the early mornings at 6am for 9 years solo. 😂 This is just a part of parenting little kids and I kinda feel like it’s his turn to go through it haha and he needs to do the majority of the early mornings.

What do you think?? I don’t want to overstep or understep my role of step parenting, I’m new to this.

Thanks

You're right, he's a cheeky git.

He's being completely absurd. It's really nice of you to do it occasionally but you don't need to be 50/50, unless he's doing significant amounts for your dd like driving to clubs or homework etc.

Also he gets lie ins 50% of the time when she's with her mum!

his child his responsibility

i think it's absolutely brilliant the way men recruit new nannies

The occasional lie in is a nice favor, but you shouldn’t be taking on parenting responsibilities. Even 20% of the mornings seems like a high ratio for you to be doing.

Bloody hell.... Get his lazy arse out of bed for his own daughter!
50/50 is this every weekend or every other? Every other means a lie-in 50% of weekends anyway.
I'm pretty sure if it was the other way round he'd be staying tucked up tight!

Don't lie to the child.

Tell her, her dad's in bed and see what happens.

Yes his chances for lie-ins are when she’s at her mum’s.

Don’t let him make you “Mum” for the whole family!

He should do them all. His child’s mother does half and he does half. She doesn’t come to see you she comes to see him. He sounds lazy.

His chance of lie ins are when his ex has his dd. Not you...

He’s only doing 50/50 tell him to get his arse up, you did your time you don’t have to do his for him either. Tbh the fact that he even suggested it would be an utter turn off for me.

Cheeky fucker.

Doesn't even have his child full time and can't even handle what he does have.

You should tell him that is lay in is the days he doesn't have his child.

Not your responsibility to get up to mother her.

He’s her parent, he gets up 100% of the time with her. He’s a CF.

So he only wants to do 25% of wake ups?
No hw does his 50% the mother does the other.

You tell him you've already done your 4 year old wakeups.

This, so many times THIS!

We are a house of multiple children but no shared. Unless there is an extenuating circumstance, if it's your child, you get up.

This would be a red flag for me.

always straight in there arent they, working everything to their advantage, exploiting every opportunity to make sure they get the best deal out of any situation

But he does get 50/50 on the lie ins! Because his DD mum gets up with her 50% of the time.
I can't believe you're even entertaining this!
It would be a big fat fuck off from me

So he only gets up with his daughter 25% of the time?
50% of the time, his ex does it.
25% of the time, his new girlfriend does it.

So he has women doing it 75% of the time.

Why are you lying for him? It’s his daughter. Up he gets.

He's a cheeky fucker, that's for sure. What does he do for your daughter to take the load off you?

His daughter he should be getting up 100 % of the time.

Spot on.

😂