Who should be waking up early, me or BF?

[Bella445]

Hello,

This isn’t a big deal but the convo has popped up twice between myself and BF lol

I have been with BF for 2 years now and just started living together. We are now a family of 4 with both a DD each from previous relationships.

I have a 11 year old DD and he has a 4 year old DD. I have my DD full time, he has custody 50/50 with his ex partner.

DD (11yo) gets up around 8ish on the weekends and goes downstairs herself, will make cereal and watch TV and chill out. I tend to wake up about 9ish. She’s self sufficient and doesn’t need help in the mornings. I get little lie ins at weekends for 30mins/1hr.

DD (4yo) obviously needs an adult to be up with her when she wakes up around 6am.

He currently gets up early with her like 80% of the time but he says I should get up early with her more so he can have a lie in. He wants more 50/50 lie ins.
When I do get up with her she wants her Daddy so I have to pretend “Daddy’s at work” or “Daddy’s at the shops” just so that she doesn’t go upstairs to find him. I usually just cuddle with her on the sofa/play games/make pancakes, we have fun 😊

But AIBU to think he should be getting up with her more than me? Not 50/50? Lol don’t crucify me I’m new to this, this is my first serious relationship with someone after having my DD 11 years ago so it’s new territory.

I’ve done the early mornings at 6am for 9 years solo. 😂 This is just a part of parenting little kids and I kinda feel like it’s his turn to go through it haha and he needs to do the majority of the early mornings.

What do you think?? I don’t want to overstep or understep my role of step parenting, I’m new to this.

Thanks

I don’t understand why this wasn’t on the list of things to discuss before combining your kids lives

Maybe you could have a think about whether there are any other parenting strategies it would be worth comparing notes on.

If I was combining families I would do 50/50

This is why I never considered combining families an option for me.

I don’t want to be conned into looking after some deadbeats kid/s for him

Does he want a partner? Or someone he can dump his parental duties on? I can see his ex left him

I think you should do 50%.

You should do the 50% that the chikd is with her mother. CF!

IF he does want to share and share alike, he needs to meet 50% of your child's needs. AND pull his weight around the house.

Watch this one very carefully. It may be that he needs staff more than a life partner. Get him to work for you and watch what happens. It's not the sex, you know; it's the skivvying.

If he dared suggest I wasn't pulling my weight to help out with his child, I'd staunchly refuse to ever help again. I might possibly take pity on him on mornings he's ill (not hungover but actually ill beyond his own control), but more likely I'd take a closer look at the relationship and consider if he's worth my time and trouble.

He should be doing all of the early mornings with his Dd when she’s at your house. Maybe you could do the odd one on his birthday or something but otherwise all of them. He is already only doing 50% as she is at her Mum’s the other half of the time.

Oh hilarious. Tell him no fucking way 😂😂😂