The Terry Wogan test is still the best, IMO. Stand naked in front of a mirror and jump up and down. If anything wobbles that shouldn't, you are fat. Of course, if your belly fat is just a skin pooch after pregnancy, that won't count.
Whether you are fat or not, you have said you would feel better being a dress size lower. But dieting is not the answer as 95% of people regain their weight after 2 years. and every diet you go on decreases your metabolism.
Instead, try to really get in touch with your hunger - there are various ways to do this that you can google, including intuitive eating, hunger scales etc.
Once you are in touch with your hunger, before eating, ask yourself if you are hungry, or eating for some other reason - be curious about yourself. It's fine to eat even if you know you are eating because you are bored or tired or whatever - but acknowleding this means you know that 'I tend to eat when I am bored' and you can then come up with strategies for the future.
You willl be able to google a lot more about this and find some great free programs/advice, so that was just intended as a bit of a pointer.
Also, re your face looking bloated - you may be able to make a few adjustments to prevent water retention - dandelion tea or something.
And stress causes weight to be collected in your middle (due to cortisol etc), so anything you can do to decrease stress (exercise, relaxation, meditation) might be helpful there.