To be exasperated with posters who refer to ‘the terminally offended’?

[BernardBlacksBreakfastWine]

Been lurking on a couple of threads recently and I just get so frustrated by posters who use these phrases:

”People are offended by EVERYTHING these days.”

”Snowflake”

”The terminally/permanently offended”

etc

It’s just so empty and pointless; you could equally have used these phrases against, say, people objecting to page three photos a few years ago (and, to be fair, some of these posters probably did).

People get so angry when prejudice is pointed out to them. You just know they’re aching to say “This is political correctness gone mad!” but they at least know that’s been discredited, so they pull out one of those other meaningless catchphrases.

AIBU to wish that people could actually articulate a reason that people shouldn’t be offended by insidious prejudice rather than just slinging pointless insults?

Not all of the things people are offended by are 'insidious prejudice' though, are they? Or indeed any kind of prejudice. I think it's perfectly normal and understandable that people will have different opinions about what it's reasonable to be offended by, and that they sometimes express those opinions.

Most offence isn't in response to insidious prejudice. It's a lazy reaction by people who are unable to control their emotional reaction to another person's reasonably held opinion.

This sums it up exactly.

There was a thread earlier about someone on a train, who wanted to report a train guard and a policeman for getting irritated with a young black female for not having a ticket and being obstructive. She said she thought it was racist, and wanted to know whether she should report. I mean, regardless of how unreasonable or not the train guard and the policeman were, and it didn’t sound like they were being unduly unreasonable, why would somebody feel the need to make a song and dance on social media if they thought it was serious enough to report? The whole thing look like an exercise in virtue signaling.

i’m pretty sure people wouldn’t get anywhere near as offended about things if there wasn’t a social media on which to broadcast their offense. Getting offended about things on social media isn’t actually doing good, and I tend to judge people on their real life actions, not their virtue signaling social media ejaculations.

Some of them are people who use woke as a sneering insult.

I think there’s a subtle difference here.

What I mean is:

Person A points out that, say, a man randomly telling a woman to smile is rooted in sexism that decrees that women should look pleasant and that men get to tell them what to do.

Person B comes marching onto the thread and sneers that Person A is a snowflake, permanently offended etc.

But Person A never claimed to be offended. That’s the point. They’re fairly reasonably pointing out that, by any sensible index, that action is based in sexism.

Rather than engage in reasonable debate, Person B is trying to shut down discussion with a bland, meaningless insult.

It’s so unintelligent. Winds me up. I don’t mind people being thick (!), but I think I do mind them using their inability to see prejudice as an excuse to hurl insults.

Sometimes things happen which aren't in my favour. Sometimes other people express opinions that don't match mine. Sometimes other people are complete dicks. Sometimes I am a complete dick.

It's just life.

There are some people who just can't cope when things don't go the way they wanted or expected and they kick up a fuss and look for someone to blame.

I know someone who lives their life in a perpetual round of taking offence at the slightest thing, and making complaints left right and centre, and wanting apologies and "justice". It doesn't make them happy, they are actually quite unhappy a lot of the time and bogged down with the time it takes to make all these complaints.

I hadn't heard the phrase virtue signalling until fairly recently, but now my Spidey senses seem to spot it quite a lot.

Absolutely and the centre parcs fb post thread was ridiculous that's the permanently offended!!

Found one!

Are you not interested in analysing human behaviour? Do you think that looking into the reasons and motivations behind our words and actions is worthwhile?

I know we’re all in a hurry most of the time, but I think it’s worthwhile to stop and think about the implications of the prevailing ideas/behaviours we see around us. Often we do harbour prejudices. Why is it so wrong to uncover them? Surely that leads to progress?

I’m not taking about being offended. That’s the line thrown at thoughtful people- you’re ‘permanently offended.’ It’s so reductive.

Found one what? Are you one of those who say 'omg I'm like so accepting and inclusive!!! I'm wonderfully kiiiinnd!! As long as you think and act like I tell you you should of course I'm accepting of you!'

That was ridiculous, agreed. ETA I mean the CP thread.

I don't think she said that.

But there ARE so many terminally offended people.

We used to just take things as clearly intended even if clumsily worded, it was a healthier way to communicate as it meant you generally saw the best in people and took what they said in a positive or constructive way.

Now it’s all about looking for micro aggressions, or alternate meanings, it’s mentally exhausting and means so few people live to up to all these imaginary standards.

In the process we’ve lost humour, honest opinion and become very thin skinned. Nobody is happier.

Some people just enjoy posting casually on mumsnet on their coffee break or while waiting for the baby to fall asleep, when mindlessly scrolling etc. No I don’t want to always analyse human behaviour and all that stuff, it’s a bit deep. Also sometimes, people do just like to claim to be offended all the time. I don’t actually throw around the insults you’ve mentioned here. But your opinion and preferences don’t mean that others are thick or using mumsnet wrong.

Well said 👏

I think person A is actively looking for the perceived sexism here. Would it be sexist if my old gran told her po-faced grandson “you look much better with a smile on your face” as she often did?
There is not necessarily sexism in the behaviour - it’s kind of a stupid comment but it can’t be assumed the male wants person A to smile so she is more appealing sexually to the man - he might just be a gobby git who makes inane comments to all kinds of people.

Most people could not care less about this kind of pointless crap. If people are looking for sexism to complain about there is plenty to go round - in both directions.

No - literally found someone (you) who used the phrase ‘permanently offended’. It’s there in black and white 🤷‍♀️

This.

This! (Accidentally cleared quote!)

I’m not taking about being offended. That’s the line thrown at thoughtful people- you’re ‘permanently offended.’ It’s so reductive.

How do you define 'offended'? Or 'offensive'? Men telling women to smile, as in your earlier example, enrages me actually. It absolutely is based in sexism, in my opinion. Am I offended by it? Well it depends what you mean by 'offended'. I do find it pretty offensive, but I'm not shocked or upset. However, I can see how men (and women) could be convinced that being told to smile is benignly meant. Calling me a snowflake for objecting to it is just their opinion (albeit a bit rude). It doesn't shut down my ability to give my opinion

To be honest, you sound exactly like you are part of the terminally offended crowd. Ranting and raving and finding offence in everything.

But it’s fine if you don’t want to analyse it! Just scroll on past. I’m talking about the people who just look at the surface of a situation and decide to post just to insult those who are interested.

I think you’re agreeing with me but you’ve quoted me as if you’re not 🤔

Who’s ranting?