To be exasperated with posters who refer to ‘the terminally offended’?

[BernardBlacksBreakfastWine]

Been lurking on a couple of threads recently and I just get so frustrated by posters who use these phrases:

”People are offended by EVERYTHING these days.”

”Snowflake”

”The terminally/permanently offended”

etc

It’s just so empty and pointless; you could equally have used these phrases against, say, people objecting to page three photos a few years ago (and, to be fair, some of these posters probably did).

People get so angry when prejudice is pointed out to them. You just know they’re aching to say “This is political correctness gone mad!” but they at least know that’s been discredited, so they pull out one of those other meaningless catchphrases.

AIBU to wish that people could actually articulate a reason that people shouldn’t be offended by insidious prejudice rather than just slinging pointless insults?

I do not use "do-badders" but am willing to feel proxy outrage on your behalf.

It does feel terminal at times though. Practically every thread someone picks out a minor detail the topic wasn't even about just so that they can get all offended and put out about it. It's exhausting at times. And these people are actually the same in real life too. God help us.

I agree with this. I barely ever go on social media now for this reason. Years ago I really enjoyed Instagram and the like. But there’s very little joy, passion, the subtle/wry British humour I enjoy or the sense of a persons idiosyncrasies and foibles that make them endearing or compelling in their individuality. Instead we have this homogeneous and achingly predictable braying about anything current/topical (some may call it ‘woke’) but essentially boils down to virtue signalling and being permanently outraged. It really is so tiresome, I’ve largely switched over the last 4 years or so and instead have rediscovered books in a big way (not that I ever stopped reading but I’ve easily doubled the amount I read now I’ve dropped my social accounts), and upped my exercise and creative pursuits - I’m so much happier for it and consequently feel I have more to give to the people in my life and community. Which surely must have more of an impact than furiously frothing online?

I don’t even think they’re actually offended they just want to seem like a five star left winger/anti-bigot/feminist, and be applauded by everyone else. It’s a bit pathetic tbh, particularly when they’re harassing one particular user to make an example of what they’ve posted.

I think the OP and the “do badders” are really talking about different people. There are threads that are derailed and even entire threads that are founded in offense picking and grudge holding—its why I steer clear of the feminism and the royalty boards—but the phrase “professional ly or permanently offended” is used to refer to outsiders who dare call insiders on their privileged ability to be inattentive to the experience of others.

Take the Diane Abbbot flap—were the man’s remarks racist or not? Do we have the right to be offended on her behalf if we are white? Do we support her and other women of color if they are offended/disgusted/frightened/hurt?

I think the issue is less that some people are permanently offended, but rather that some people seem to be permanently offending different groups of people.

This.

An emotional reaction to a reasonably held opinion is not under discussion here, though.

Given I've quoted it from the first page, where it was part of the discussion on this thread...

I’ve no doubt that there are people out there wilfully looking for offence with a view to virtue signalling and generally involving themselves in drama for their own ends.

But I also see the use of “woke” and “permanently offended” as an insult as a lazy, ignorant way to dismiss views that those people find uncomfortable. Tackling insidious bias is uncomfortable and people are generally reluctant to look at their own thought patterns and behaviour critically, and would rather throw insults than even consider whether there’s anything they could do better.

The PP who accused the OP of “ranting” is an excellent example of this. You don’t have to agree with the OP, but dismissing the OP’s posts as ranting is lazy and inaccurate.

I get what you’re saying in many situations and I agree with you, however, there are so many people who use performative outrage to not only virtue signal but also actually bully folk, they really are everything they claim to stand against and I can’t stand that.

Totally agree, you articulated this in a far better way that I could have.

@Iloveyoubut "there are so many people who use performative outrage to not only virtue signal but also actually bully folk,"

A few examples would be good. Should be easy if there are so many.

Oh the irony.

@FourLeggedBuckers is right, I agree!

I also think its interesting that posters continue to complain both that those bad others are “too sensitive” and “ emotional” and etc… while also complaining that the argumentative and emotional offended people make them uncomfortable (sad, emotional, upset?). Why are “woke” reasons bad but anti woke reasons just robust exchanges of opinion? why are some posters emotional reactions incorrect while others are seen as perfectly reasonable? Why is telling someone a poster is offended/upset sometimes wrong and sometimes right?

One that sticks out to me was the story of the train manager who got into trouble for saying "good afternoon ladies and gentlemen.." over ths speaker system, which apparently is offensive to non binary passengers. This was in the news last year IIRC.

Ah, I can see how my comment might lead you to that conclusion about age. But no, I’m sufficiently old to think of the ‘ban page 3’ campaign as very recent indeed… so I really did mean ‘a few years’ ago with the assumption that it was literally ‘a few years’ and we all remember it well!

I mean, virtually thousands of threads on MN you'll find this. Are you suggesting you can't see it and posters should trawl through threads on your behalf to point some out when you claim you didn't recognise it the first time round?

That was me not the poster you @'ed.

The train manager was complained about on social media and to his employer.

Do you think the term "ladies and gentlemen" is an example of the insidious bigotry, sexism or racism cited earlier in the thread? Or in this case, do you think the complainant was a tad overzealous?

I think there's an intolerance from the younger generation so cope in normal situations.

There's a line constantly trotted out that someone has been made to feel uncomfortable about fairly standard life instances.

For example a kid in DSs class yr3 was apparently traumatised by a very tame compared to the ones in the 80s when I was that age video on railway line safety and the parents were asking on the class WhatsApp group if our kids were upset saying how uncomfortable and traumatised little Jennie and Jonnie were.

It was frankly absurd.

@WillYouPutYourCoatOn

I mean, virtually thousands of threads on MN you'll find this. Are you suggesting you can't see it and posters should trawl through threads on your behalf to point some out when you claim you didn't recognise it the first time round?

No. I am saying that if there are "virtually thousands" it should be super easy for the people making the claims to offer supporting evidence.

*to cope

@The underthinker"The train manager was complained about on social media and to his employer".

Do you think the term "ladies and gentlemen" is an example of the insidious bigotry, sexism or racism cited earlier in the thread? Or in this case, do you think the complainant was a tad overzealous?

I do think that the complainant was "being a tad overzealous." And so did the LNER. Which is why the guard concerned wasn't disciplined or anything like that. It seems an entirely non issue. And if that's the only example anyone can find in the past 3 years....

I have a family member who is incredibly offended about everything. Minor things are "traumatic" for them, they will have anxiety attacks over somebody else's problems. In my opinion it's making my family member ill, they have too much time on their hands, and spend so much of their time being upset/offended on behalf of other people.
Family have fallen out with them, friends too, because you can't have a debate with them about your differing views, they just call you racist, bigoted, terfs etc.
Its exhausting.
Social media is partly to blame I think.
But it is people like this that I think are labelled as "terminally offended" because they don't live a normal life anymore, they can't maintain relationships, it's actually very sad to see.