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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want ‘big’ holidays until my child is older?

54 replies

lilo92 · 14/03/2024 15:07

So my DD is going to be 1 next month. We never got a honeymoon because of Covid and then having her, so my husband is suggesting after her birthday we book a holiday to Mauritius. He’s found an amazing package to be fair, but it’s about 3 times as much as what we’ve looked at for going to Santa Ponsa for a fortnight, both all inclusive.

Even without taking a 1 year old on the plane that far, I’m loathe to spend more money on what is a similar holiday for us with a youngster, but she won’t even remember? Had this conversation with my Mum a few weeks ago too as my cousin lives in Paris just now for work and we were all talking about going to visit, Mum suggested a day at Disneyland for DD and I said I’d rather wait til she’s older, a lot of money for something she won’t get anything out of yet.

Mum and husbands reactions have been similar - am I being horrible not wanting to take her? We have plenty of trips to the beach, and the park and the zoo and we took her to centre parcs for one night when visiting friends when she was really little. I’m not saying no to taking her on holiday, I just think it’s a bit wasted. I messaged my friend group chat and they’ve told me to just go if husbands willing to pay for it and they wish they could - nobody is seeing my point and I feel like a bad Mum because I’m not wanting to take her, but nobody is getting my point.

am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:

Untethered · 14/03/2024 15:10

Surely the holiday to Mauritius is more for you and DH to enjoy, with dd as a lovely companion?

Disneyland I can understand, but again if you and your mum enjoy it, there’s no reason why you can’t go for the day if you’re in France anyway.

shellyleppard · 14/03/2024 15:11

I'm with you op she's too little to remember it. Maybe when she's a bit older and will notice things more??

Picklestop · 14/03/2024 15:12

Well of course she will be too little to remember it, but you aren’t and your husband isn’t. I think it sounds lovely and if you can afford it why not.

notacooldad · 14/03/2024 15:12

She may not remember the holiday but you will.

readingmakesmehappy · 14/03/2024 15:13

My DB did similar long haul when my DN was tiny and concluded that it was extremely stressful to do such a long flight with such a small person. They have gone no further than Greece since. While mine are small we will holiday almost entirely in the UK.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 14/03/2024 15:14

Well it's a long way to go with a little one but its not just about the little one. If its a holiday you would both enjoy then do it. Holidays are for all of you not just the kids

hummingbird14 · 14/03/2024 15:14

I don't think holidays have to always be about children remembering but about the memories you make as a family. Mauritius would be incredible for you and your DH and the bay would love it too.

As for Disneyland, it's brilliant for kids all ages. They have so much for babies/toddlers that you will all love. Plus kids are free until they turn 3.

We took our daughters at 6 and 20 months last year and our bay had the best time ever.
You don't get these years back OP!

hummingbird14 · 14/03/2024 15:15

hummingbird14 · 14/03/2024 15:14

I don't think holidays have to always be about children remembering but about the memories you make as a family. Mauritius would be incredible for you and your DH and the bay would love it too.

As for Disneyland, it's brilliant for kids all ages. They have so much for babies/toddlers that you will all love. Plus kids are free until they turn 3.

We took our daughters at 6 and 20 months last year and our bay had the best time ever.
You don't get these years back OP!

*baby

Saymyname28 · 14/03/2024 15:15

The holiday isn't for her though. Your husband wants to go becuase you missed your honeymoon. She's just coming along for the trip.

beachmum1 · 14/03/2024 15:16

We travel a lot with our little one, we do it for us, not for her benefit.

anonqrtb · 14/03/2024 15:17

No OP i feel exactly the same as you. Our DD Is 18 months and a beautiful little whirlwind, the thought of trying tot ake her on a plane, run round after her whilst in a different country fills me withmoer dread then the thought of a holiday.

Its like being at home, but with more stress and more sweat. I just cant justify yet

Mumof2teens79 · 14/03/2024 15:19

I imagine the cost of her place is minimal for both? Unless you are booking a seat on the plane (or she will be 2 when you go?)

In the case of Mauritius my main concern is you won't enjoy it as much because you have a toddler. The plane journey will be more stressful. Holidays with Little ones can be amazing, but very different to without. And do you want to spend that money of the holiday of a lifetime and not enjoy it to its full?

For disney if you had older kids I would say go. If you love disney, go, anything from 3 up they will love it. But if you are only going for LO yes wait till she recognises disney character and can go on smaller rides.

Knickerbockergrolia · 14/03/2024 15:24

I would say do what works for you as adults at this age as the little one(s) will enjoy the family time away.wherever you are. So if you want some sun but the long haul flights are too much, then stick with Europe. However, do take advantage of being able to travel outside of peak times before you are tied in to school holidays! We didn't really think about that till we got there (as travelling with v small children seemed like too much of an arseache), by which time it was too late to enjoy cheapo off season sunny breaks!

Mumtobeno2 · 14/03/2024 15:30

I am with you, we go abroad with our daughter but my dream is a wildlife tour in Canada or Puerto Rico which we wouldn't do until our kids are old enough to enjoy and appreciate it. We tend to stick to Europe as it's shorter haul, which works for both us and DD. We want to make use of being able to go out of term time and also make new memories as a family that are in a different setting so Europe all round works for us now.

prescribingmum · 14/03/2024 15:33

I’m with you on Disney but surely Mauritius is a break for you and she is coming along? In which case I would definitely go as it is so much cheaper when she is this small compared to having a bigger family with older children.

Orher things to consider would be how easy/hard things are with her. If she is particularly fussy to the extent you wouldn’t enjoy the trip then I would also have second thoughts but I would take a happy easy going baby without a second thought. Life is much easier when they are this small!

lifebeginsaftercoffee · 14/03/2024 15:35

Surely it's a holiday for you and DH, with DD accompanying you? She won't remember anything at this age so by that logic, why go anywhere?

WarningOfGails · 14/03/2024 15:37

It’s not about the child, it’s what you want to do. We were able to take DD to South Africa, India, Nepal and France all under the age of 2. She doesn’t remember any of it but I certainly do, and if we hadn’t taken her along we wouldn’t have gone!

DappledThings · 14/03/2024 15:39

We still have holidays we want to and bring the children with us. Our holidays haven't become entirely for the children's benefit. If you want to go Mauritius because you think you'd enjoy it then go. Your daughter won't remember it but you will.

LipstickLil · 14/03/2024 15:46

I really wouldn't have wanted to spend 12 hours on a plane with a 1-year-old - in fact that would be my idea of hell! On that basis alone, YANBU.

mefornow · 14/03/2024 15:50

For what it’s worth I agree with the OP that I wouldn’t take a baby on that sort of holiday. For Disneyland I would want them to be a little older and able to enjoy it more. For something like Mauritius I can see what people are saying that your partner wants it as a honeymoon for you…. But what benefit is your child getting from that holiday? You will need to be making sure they don’t get too much sun exposure, fitting nappies etc into luggage allowance and then worrying about how they cope on a plane. I have always felt that a baby is too young to understand their ears popping, being stuck on a plane etc and they don’t get any value from the final destination as it’s more or less spent trying to keep them cool and out of the sun, which then impacts the enjoyment you get from the holiday.

all that being said that’s just my opinion. If you can afford it, think it will be a positive experience and want to… then go for it.

totallybonafido · 14/03/2024 15:59

YANBU, I refused to take my kids on expensive or far flung holidays when they were very little. We never went anywhere except camping or self-catering family owned places until recently, and they are 7 and 5. With small kids it's the same shit in a different place, and less convenient because you don't have all the things you usually have at home to make life easier. I also didn't have the kind of DC who you can just take out in the buggy and they would fall asleep while we had dinner! I didn't want to go on holiday to sit in the hotel room every evening.

Fluffyc1ouds · 14/03/2024 16:05

YANBU. We even avoided days out as much as possible until DS was at least 3 because it was just stressful and everything ended in tears. I couldn't have spent all that money on a big holiday to end up knackered and stressed.

Rosesanddaisies1 · 14/03/2024 16:07

Do what you and DH want to do, it doesn't matter if baby doesn't remember. Mauritius is a good shout as direct flight and no jet lag. People on here are so boring, you need to keep having fun and adventures! Obv will be a different holiday to pre baby but as long as you know that. Disneyland totally different, unless you and DH like it, pointless until baby is older, and decides if they want to go. (although I will never be taking my kids., you could do a couple of months in Asia for that money)

snoopyfanaccountant · 14/03/2024 16:08

I wouldn't want to fly to Mauritius with a one year old. It's a long flight.

I disagree about not taking a one year old to Disneyland though. We took both of ours at that age (20 months and 19 months) and although they don't remember it, seeing the delight on their faces when they saw characters such as Winnie the Pooh was amazing. There were plenty of rides they could go on and they loved the music and colour of the shows and parades.

Hillarious · 14/03/2024 16:24

What will Mauritius offer other that somewhere closer to home, in Europe, won't, given the restrictions you'll have looking after a one year old? That would be the deal-breaker for me, and I can't think of anything.

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