To be disturbed by this

[LynzyG]

Ok, so one of the people I work with is quite new to the company. He’s got a wife and 3 children, the youngest being 1. Today he had his phone on charge in the work kitchen (only 3 of us in the office so definitely his phone) I moved his phone as I was wiping the work top and the phone lit up as I picked it up. I noticed that there were 3 notifications from Grindr. I obviously put the phone straight back down but now I’m like ‘oh my goodness, his poor wife’
I obviously would never out him at work but at the same time feel like it’s changed how I feel towards him. To be clear, not because he’s on grindr but because he is on Grindr with a family at home

None of your business

She might know?

Lots of people have what might be considered non-conventional relationships. She might know, she might be comfortable - he may even have the account on his handset for someone else. I say that as I used to have Grindr on my phone for my best friend as he didn’t have a smartphone at the time. Stranger things have happened. I know you can’t unsee it, but you can choose to not give it any more thought.

Just because he's on there doesn't meant he's actually talking to, sexting or meeting people.
I don't know what you want to do? Confront him? His wife? They could have an open marriage. Maybe she instigates him arranging threesomes through Grindr? They could be separated. Wouldn't you be mortified if a colleague saw your phone notifications and passed judgement? Certainly don't start gossiping about it to other colleagues.

Just mind your own blooming business.

Ah the usual "unlikely as fuck" explanations.

I don't know what you can do op.

You can’t help the way you feel and instinctively I would feel exactly the same way. NOYB obviously but yes urgh.

He's a fuckwit for having the notifications on his lock screen! Nothing you can do apart from secretly think 'ew' though.

It’s not really for you to worry about is it? I mean what can you do?

If you only glanced and put it straight back maybe you were mistaken and its something else that looks/sounds like grindr
Just keep telling yourself that and forget about it.

If it comes up on his lock screen then I guess he isn't that worried about his wife seeing it?

Yep, my thoughts exactly.

I put thrinder* on a mate’s phone once as a wind up. Who knows.

*tinder for threesomes

I am all for female solidarity in these cases. I would anon get a message to the wife saying what you saw on the lock screen at the office.

So his wife has never moved or jogged his phone and seen notifications?

If it was a mate maybe. She barely knows this guy.

Possible he doesn't actually have a wife....

I'd bet £50 that his poor wife doesn't know!

Wow so you moved his phone to ‘wipe up’ and it happened to light up and you happened to read his notifications?

that are that easy to see his wife would be able to see them?

Don’t anonymously message and tell her. It will be obvious it’s some one at work. You have no right to get involved in a colleagues private life. That’s just asking for trouble.

I'd ignore it but from then on I'd be oh hi with him in person but hmm in my head.

No, do not do this. For some reason some people do not have honorable intentions when posting "advice".

What 'disturbs' you? Him and his wife could be in an open relationship for all you know. Mind your business.

Most phones light up as soon as you pick them up. That’s a normal feature of a smartphone. It’s very easy to see the notifications on the Lock Screen. Not fully read the notification but certainly see the app the notification is from, as it has the toggle next to it.
I also have never said I was going to message the wife or get involved in any way. As my op said, I am not going to put him and discuss it in work

My gay best friend regales me with tales of the vast amounts of ‘married with kids’ guys on Grindr. He says it’s full of them.

Unfortunately I wouldn’t know what to do in your situation either. I was cheated on for years and I’m sure people knew and didn’t tell me so I’d err on the side of strongly considering an anonymous message.

I’d just ring them be open, nice and explain.
Theyd probably give you advise what they can do whether it be refund or maybe even open on a Saturday.