People not showing pride in their homes

[Auburngal]

Talking about those who leave the front of their homes (owned) in a state.

For example there’s a house down my parents road who has an old fridge freezer on their driveway for 5 years! Don’t understand why people spend several hundred quid on white goods don’t buy them from a retailer who takes the old one for free or for £10. I paid the retailer £10 to take my old washer away and to recycle it accordingly.

Then there’s a house opposite me who had their bathroom replaced and left the old loo and other bits outside the home for several months. A decent bathroom fitter would take the old stuff away as part of the package.

Then another family down my parents road have old children’s toys in their garden- play house, sand pit etc. The kids are too old for these toys now.

Then are properties with hedges on the road and used as a ‘bin’. Unless the owners have mobility issues - then there’s no excuse to remove the rubbish from the hedge.

People spend hundreds of thousands of pounds on their homes but I hate it when they show no care.

People need to show pride.

I am a member of a community litter picking group.

Some of you are in for a massive shock when Cadent rock up to put new gas pipes in and insist they want to dig up your driveway

Please explain

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4994209-cadent-replacing-gas-pipes-anyone-experienced-this?page=1

They've been digging up our road since November,fifty five holes and counting.

People spend hundreds of thousands of pounds on their homes but I hate it when they show no care.

Millions of people either rent from council/HA or private rent so your statement is not true. Private renters often have few rights in terms of decorating and have to move regularly. Why would they spend any money paying to improve their landlords property when they are already paying their mortgage/pension? I assume most scruffy homes have been neglected by landlords who spend the minimum and don't give a shit about their tenants living in a nice place and don't care about the neighbours or environment.

Keeping things tidy costs nothing really. We sometimes get random bits of litter landing on our front garden. I suppose we could just leave it, but it takes seconds to put it in the bin. Same with giving the path a quick sweep.

People’s moods can be affected by their surroundings, I get pleasure from seeing plants other than weeds come into blossom in our tiny front garden. A lot have spread over time, no cost, and little effort needed.

People’s moods can be affected by their surroundings

Absolutely right. Well known (well not on MN it seems). But usually people think it's only inside your home what can cause and deepen stress/anxiety/depression. It's the outside too.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2186297/
https://www.housingstudies.org/blog/can-your-neighborhood-make-you-sick/

Another thing is that quite frankly, many of the messy houses are people with anti social behaviour (no I do not mean just don't want a chat). One becomes two (because no one not similar wants to move into house next to them), two become three, older residents move out not wanting to deal with that and et voilà. A deprrssing shithole with no social safety net amongst neighbours etc.

I used to keep on top of my parents' house and garden whilst working full time, caring for my parents and caring for my husband. (That included doing the housework and seeing to our garden, of course.)

We all got older. My dad died. My husband's health deteriorated. Following work on the house, my own garden was ruined.

I've tried to get on top of things. It now takes me all my time to bend low enough to pick up the litter that's been chucked in my garden. Now that I'm on my own and struggling physically, it's not so easy. I'm only in my 60s. My consultant has told me that he won't consider replacing my knees for at least another 10 yrs. I've had operations on both my shoulders and I'm doing physio to try to get my arms working better. I've gone from looking after three people, two houses and two gardens to trying to look after myself and my own house and garden whilst dealing with crooked workmen.

I've tried to organise help. I've looked up what gardening prices should be and the men who have given me quotes are definitely trying to take advantage. One young man wanted £100 to clean the moss off my front path - half an hour's work. When I refused, he grudgingly offered to lower it to £50. I can't afford to pay that. I'm lucky that I have my work pension. I do a bit of supply teaching when I'm fit enough. The rates for that before tax are £29 an hour. Anything that I earn is gong towards the thousands that I'll need to fix my drainage - I have to get that done before I can even think of trying to see to the back garden.

Tidying your garden isn't always that simple.

This. I live on a council estate and I'm a professional with a doctorate.

I've revisited this thread today because I was so upset earlier. As I've said upthread, a few years ago I became disabled, lost everything, was moved to adapted social housing and had a severe mental breakdown. I'm quite proud I'm still alive.

I am so ill all the time. Every day. Some are worse than others. Today I am in so much pain I can't get into my wheelchair to get to the bathroom. I have a fever and was hallucinating/passing out. I barely have the energy to type this.

Thinking that people are judging me because my front lawn isn't mown and won't be until the council come and do it upset me earlier. My neighbour who tuts every time he walks past upsets me. The one who walks past and shakes his walking stick at my garden upsets me. They know I'm disabled. I don't leave the house. The fact that I'm lying here in agony, suffering so much and being judged because of a lawn is just horrible. And this is a street for disabled people or over 55s. There are no white good on my lawn. No rubbish or debris. Just grass. I'm more concerned with trying to stay alive, but apparently that's wrong.

I would help you, so would my children. You should hold your head up high, the people here who sneer at those who struggle are limited.
Compassion and kindness are precious.
Snobbery, one upmanship and virtue signalling are the hallmarks of the empty vessels, full of sound and fury, but signifying nothing.

I'm sorry that you're suffering in this way.

I have an elderly friend who had her garden slabbed over in an attempt to keep on top of things. There's still a problem with weeds and moss, however.

Before my last shoulder op, I tried to help her by cutting back the brambles that had grown over from a neighbour and weedkilling the rest. It took me all my time - she was in distress because the neighbour at the other side was complaining about her to the council. (Yes, she did try to hire someone to help out.)

The neighbour was pressurising her into putting down artificial grass - she had the impression that he wanted to use her garden as an adjunct of his own: he had his front garden turned into a driveway.

I'm no longer in a position to help her out.

At my own place, I'm trying to keep my hedges in order at least, but I can only do a very little at a time. The council is supposed to cut their side of a boundary hedge, but they've cut back to doing it only once a year, so of course I get complaints from people using the common path at that side.

People get rubbish thrown in their garden because some of their neighbours can't fit it in their bins and decide to make it someone else's problem.

I've had it happening to me. I've also had cases of stolen property being dumped in my garden. (A kid's scooter one time. I did put a note on FB. Before the rightful owner got it, someone else took it.)

On one memorable occasion, I had various mail order packages dumped in the garden - all different addresses. Most of the goods were gone, apart from a set of plastic cutlery and a size 14 bright orange crimpilene dress.

I took the packages to the local police station. The sergeant at the desk chortled "What's wrong? Is it not your size?"

A fortnight later, a police woman came to my door with pics of the parcels, asking me to make a statement. A post office van had been robbed and they'd caught the culprits...

Why was my garden selected? I have an end-terraced house. My garden is bordered by a public path which leads to a football park and local woodland.

My dad did that for two of our neighbours. I did that for my parents. I have no one able to do that for me. (Only child, no siblings and widowed.)

We don't all have living family nearby. I do have some lovely cousins, but they're even older than me and a long way away.

I always wonder what my neighbours thinks of outside my house sometimes. I work really hard and am exhausted. I have hardly any spare time or money. My neighbour has a lot of spare time and cuts their grass as soon as it is 1mm too long. They collect their wheelie bins the second the bin men empty it etc. I have pride in my home but can only do what I can do.
Fridges cost more than other white goods to get removed because of the gas inside them and you can't take them to the normal tip.
Some people are lazy and don't care but some do care and don't have the time, funds, physical ability or mental health to upkeep things how they or you would like. How nice it would be if a neighbour offered to help them out.

@Sweetnessandbite we’re retired, and usually around so we put our working neighbour’s bin in. Most on our bit of our street do the same.

In some areas Age UK have recommended tradespeople, a handyperson scheme. It’s not free, but it’s not a rip off or scam. Local authorities sometimes have gardening schemes to help older people or people with disabilities. It must be so hard to see things deteriorate fore those no longer able to look after them as they did.