To ask for your help with this, my head is fried trying to work it out!

[logisticallifeproblem]

I have a logistical / childcare issue and I've tried to think of every possibility but I'm struggling now, so wanted to post here for some help in case there's something I haven't thought of!

Partner and I both work. We have 2 yo DC in nursery 3 days and home 2 days a week. We have opposite days off with DC, me Monday and him Wednesday. DC goes to nursery the 3 days we both work.

Partner has to have an operation next Wednesday. His operation date was originally Monday but they've moved it with a week's notice (we have no idea why, he just got a new letter saying it's moved). When it was Monday it wasn't a problem childcare or work wise, as I'd be on my day off with DC, and I could also take DP to hospital for his operation etc. Now it's Wednesday we have a problem, because now we've lost the childcare (ie my partner). I could in theory swap my non working day to Wednesday (work wise this isn't an issue), but the issue then becomes I need to work Monday instead, which I can't because that's the day when I'm the childcare.

I've approached nursery this morning to see if they could take her a as one off next Monday if I were to swap my non working day to Wednesday - they can't. The best they can do is take her Wednesday morning only. I'm not sure how this helps me, as Id still need to work Wednesday afternoon.

I have no annual leave left to take til April. Partner has annual leave left but is not usually allowed to take it at short notice, otherwise the obvious solution would have been he takes Monday as annual leave so I can work, and I take my non working day on Wednesday when he has his operation so I can be the childcare (ie we essentially swap our non working days over).

We have no family support nearby and all the friends we could have asked will also be at work next week.

We could request with the hospital that his surgery be postponed to a Monday or even just to any day in April when I get my new annual leave entitlement, but postponing it further isn't really a great idea from a health point of view for him, as he's been quite unwell over the past year and has already been waiting for this operation for 9 months.

Is there anything i haven't considered here, because my head is a bit battered now. 😕

Annual leave?

Day off without pay?

coyld You borrow a day from next year?

Can you ask work for unpaid leave, or to borrow a day's leave from next year's entitlement, given that these are exceptional circumstances?

Otherwise is there a friend who would be willing to take a day's leave for you, on the agreement you will take a day's leave for them after April and/or look after their kids for a day, to return the favour?

I said in my OP that I have no annual leave left til April, and partner isn't usually permitted to take last minute annual leave in his job, they'd likely decline. I mean he's going to ask anyway, but we're both sure it will be a no.

Can you take parental leave?

My work don't allow this unfortunately

I would definitely ask for unpaid leave, or flex hours I.e. you work your hours in evenings over the week if its the sort of job where you can

Or if nothing else works, you call in sick- but I would only do this if you haven't asked for unpaid leave and been declined as obviously they'll know.

Unpaid is an option yes. It might have to be this.

Most companies offer carer/parental leave which is designed for situations like this. Worth asking about.

Is there anything i haven't considered here,

yes. to just have a chat with your employer and explain the situation (a lot briefer than above though!)

I thought parental/carers leave was for when your child was sick, is that not correct?

If the op had been Monday, he'd presumably have been missing a day's work. Can you ask his company nicely whether they would allow him to take the Monday as unpaid leave so you can swap your days?

Or ask your company about taking dependents leave on Wednesday; taking a partner to hospital is often permitted.

Are you in uk? If so there’s some provision for emergency parental leave when needed to care for children. Your normal childcare is unavailable on Wednesday so you take emergency parental leave to cover that.

What kind of place do you both work in where neither of your employers will accommodate an operation that is needed after 9 months of bad health. Honestly you both just need to have a conversation with your employers, I'll show my arse if they both decline.

I’d get carers leave for this, does your work offer it?

Can’t you both talk to your employers and find a solution?

Don’t you get contingency leave/caregiver/dependents leave? Ours is paid (capped at 10 days annually) but most places allow it at least unpaid.

Parental leave is the answer - you have a statutory allowance of 4 weeks per year of unpaid parental leave (you are supposed to take it as a full week but employers can use their discretion to allow you just to take a day).

Yes Monday would have been classed as planned sick leave for him, had the op stayed on Monday. He will likely need a couple weeks to recover but he'd planned to still look after DC at home on Wednesday as normal as he's likely to be a little sore but not immobile, so he thought he'd be fine with that, and I'd have WFH on Wednesday just in case to be on hand if he needed an extra pair of hands. As it stands now, he can't class Monday as sick leave anymore as it's pre-op, so that needs to be something else if he takes that day off now.

It does but I'm not sure of the specific policy, I'd need to check. I've used carers leave before when DC was sick and couldn't go to nursery, but not in this situation where my partner is sick and can't care for DC.

Yes of course but I wanted to see if there was anything else I hadn't considered first.

Surely he was due off the Monday? He needs to have a conversation with his work. Otherwise, nursery for the weds morning and unpaid for weds afternoon?

How serious is the op? Will he be there all day/overnight? Don’t take him in, but maybe help him back home only?

Parental leave also is not just for sick children, it’s for when you need to care for them for whatever reason.

How long will DP be off sick post-op?

Could you ask your work to let you take the Wednesday off and you work the following Monday (your normal day off) and DP would be at home and able to look after DC?