To ask for your help with this, my head is fried trying to work it out!

[logisticallifeproblem]

I have a logistical / childcare issue and I've tried to think of every possibility but I'm struggling now, so wanted to post here for some help in case there's something I haven't thought of!

Partner and I both work. We have 2 yo DC in nursery 3 days and home 2 days a week. We have opposite days off with DC, me Monday and him Wednesday. DC goes to nursery the 3 days we both work.

Partner has to have an operation next Wednesday. His operation date was originally Monday but they've moved it with a week's notice (we have no idea why, he just got a new letter saying it's moved). When it was Monday it wasn't a problem childcare or work wise, as I'd be on my day off with DC, and I could also take DP to hospital for his operation etc. Now it's Wednesday we have a problem, because now we've lost the childcare (ie my partner). I could in theory swap my non working day to Wednesday (work wise this isn't an issue), but the issue then becomes I need to work Monday instead, which I can't because that's the day when I'm the childcare.

I've approached nursery this morning to see if they could take her a as one off next Monday if I were to swap my non working day to Wednesday - they can't. The best they can do is take her Wednesday morning only. I'm not sure how this helps me, as Id still need to work Wednesday afternoon.

I have no annual leave left to take til April. Partner has annual leave left but is not usually allowed to take it at short notice, otherwise the obvious solution would have been he takes Monday as annual leave so I can work, and I take my non working day on Wednesday when he has his operation so I can be the childcare (ie we essentially swap our non working days over).

We have no family support nearby and all the friends we could have asked will also be at work next week.

We could request with the hospital that his surgery be postponed to a Monday or even just to any day in April when I get my new annual leave entitlement, but postponing it further isn't really a great idea from a health point of view for him, as he's been quite unwell over the past year and has already been waiting for this operation for 9 months.

Is there anything i haven't considered here, because my head is a bit battered now. 😕

If your work places really are that horse shit that they won't accommodate, why do they need to know his date has changed? Let them still think its Monday and he stays off for the childcare. I wouldn't recommend that like, but if they are that bad that neither of you can have a discussion with them then they deserve to not know.

But a week ago your DH was not going to be at work on Monday because of the op. Is the company that fragile/inflexible that they can't re-offer him that day off anyway?

You just both talk to your bosses and work it out?

He was due off Monday, but classed as planned sick leave. He can't record it as this anymore if his op is 2 days after this day, if that makes sense.

Nursery Wednesday morning and unpaid parental leave Wed PM might be a good solution, actually. Thank you.

What is your back up plan if both you and DH were ill?
-Check your company policy re carers leave. Technically, you will be caring for DH after the op, so might be able to use that, although unpaid.
-General Unpaid leave
-Nanny. There are last minute ones but I don't know the company name.

Oh this is even better! Hadn't thought of this! See; this is why I love MN.

So plan would be:

I keep my non working day Monday next week to care for DC, and I take Wednesday as my non working day in lieu of the following Monday, which I will work while DP cares for DC as he'll be off for at least 2 weeks.

That works! 😊

This! Seems really odd to me.

Carer's leave is for when you need to care for your child unexpectedly so when they are sick but also if your existing childcare arrangement is suddenly and temporarily unavailable. That would include your partner being unable to care as normal following surgery.

@LittleLittleRex thank you for providing the most obvious solution- sometimes you're just so stressed you can't see the wood for the trees! 😀

Any option to work from home? We've managed both working from home and letting child watch TV a lot in emergencies.
Another possibility is if they'll let you work extra hours on other days as compressed hours to cover the weds afternoon, rather than taking it as unpaid.
Depends what your work is obviously!

Will your partner definitely be well enough to look after your child alone?

but will he be able to look after a 2 year old if he’s recovering from an op?

He reckons so. I guess we won't know until he's home recovering. He keeps saying he'll be fine and he's told he will be sore for a few days and need to take it easy, but will be fully mobile.

DP was already not supposed to be available on Monday so they must have arranged cover for him. Therefore no justifiable grounds to decline the annual leave on Monday now the appointment has been changed at short notice and he has a childcare issue.

This. I’m willing to bet you’re both the kind of people who don’t take the piss with time off, which is why you’re trying so hard to make this work.

I used to have that attitude till it worked against me, and on one occasion I had to say that I didn’t care if it was paid/unpaid, sick leave/emergency/family/career leave but I didn’t care what the6 called it for their system, but I’d not be at work that day.

Ask for the day off as family leave...it may be unpaid or your work policy may allow it paid, or borrow from next year's allowance.

Talk to your boss, if one of my team said this I'd tell them to take the day and forget about it. Things like this build goodwill and benefit the organisation in the long term.

It sounds like you've come up with a solution which is good, but I agree that this should have been easily managed with a conversation with one or both workplaces. I don't really understand why that was impossible.

As a side note, I once landed up in hospital over a period when I was supposed to be on annual leave. My company "returned" my annual leave to me and put the hospital days down as sick leave. It's probably different for his Wednesday as it's a non working day usually rather than an annual leave day, but again, I'd have thought that ws the sort of thing he could have discussed with his employer.

For unexpected emergencies. Not pre-planned operations.

This. At the end of the day, health is more important. Sometimes you have to just say look, this is how it is, if you need to not pay me/give me a warning etc, go for it.

Glad you found a solution OP!

Great you've got a solution, op.

My order of exhausting the options would have been:

• Parental leave
• Dh annual leave (even if a difficult conversation needed with his employer)
• Unpaid leave

Hope it all works out and your dh's op goes well. 😊

I'd consider an operation with a last minute date change an unexpected emergency. OP and her DH had made plans to fit with the original date. Now, at short notice, that's gone to pot.

Speak to nursery and see if they have space for a one off day on the Monday? Our nursery was always happy to do this, but I know some areas struggle for nursery places so it will depend on their ratios

i would wager he won’t be

and you should
plan accordingly

Ours isn’t for emergencies- there’s emergency leave but that’s separate to caregivers/dependents leave which doesn’t have to be an emergency.

Well, you don’t know what the OP’s employer offers….

legally there is emergency leave for dependents (unpaid) or parental leave (pre-planned, unpaid and taken in week-long blocks).