To ask for your help with this, my head is fried trying to work it out!

[logisticallifeproblem]

I have a logistical / childcare issue and I've tried to think of every possibility but I'm struggling now, so wanted to post here for some help in case there's something I haven't thought of!

Partner and I both work. We have 2 yo DC in nursery 3 days and home 2 days a week. We have opposite days off with DC, me Monday and him Wednesday. DC goes to nursery the 3 days we both work.

Partner has to have an operation next Wednesday. His operation date was originally Monday but they've moved it with a week's notice (we have no idea why, he just got a new letter saying it's moved). When it was Monday it wasn't a problem childcare or work wise, as I'd be on my day off with DC, and I could also take DP to hospital for his operation etc. Now it's Wednesday we have a problem, because now we've lost the childcare (ie my partner). I could in theory swap my non working day to Wednesday (work wise this isn't an issue), but the issue then becomes I need to work Monday instead, which I can't because that's the day when I'm the childcare.

I've approached nursery this morning to see if they could take her a as one off next Monday if I were to swap my non working day to Wednesday - they can't. The best they can do is take her Wednesday morning only. I'm not sure how this helps me, as Id still need to work Wednesday afternoon.

I have no annual leave left to take til April. Partner has annual leave left but is not usually allowed to take it at short notice, otherwise the obvious solution would have been he takes Monday as annual leave so I can work, and I take my non working day on Wednesday when he has his operation so I can be the childcare (ie we essentially swap our non working days over).

We have no family support nearby and all the friends we could have asked will also be at work next week.

We could request with the hospital that his surgery be postponed to a Monday or even just to any day in April when I get my new annual leave entitlement, but postponing it further isn't really a great idea from a health point of view for him, as he's been quite unwell over the past year and has already been waiting for this operation for 9 months.

Is there anything i haven't considered here, because my head is a bit battered now. 😕

They have more than a week’s notice means it wouldn’t meet the requirements for emergency leave for dependents (that which is legally required to be offered by employers).

Unpaid leave if he can’t take annual
leave

Already done, they've said no. Only Wednesday morning available.

so if Mondays are your day off

You are working today?

@logisticallifeproblem

you could get a nanny for the day, or call around local childminders.

What kind of shit employer wouldnt accommodate this?
Im both a paye worker and an employer.
Id both be allowed the time and id give the time, bith without question.
Honest to god id never put myself thru that for a job and id not expect my employees to.

Are you trying to have a go at OP for being on MN during work? Really?!

Unpaid leave is your only option cant
Believe you needed a thread about it tbh.

no you sensitive soul! 😆

because she could ask today and get it sorted

Parental leave or unpaid leave.

This completely

Well evidently it wasn't my only option, because another poster gave me the ideal solution earlier on and it doesn't involve unpaid leave 🤷‍♀️

Yes

have you asked them?

You should be able to get carers leave for this. Check with HR

the sooner the better so they can plan

Surely it's simple. Your DH explains the situation to his employer and books annual leave on Monday. I know you've said they're inflexible at short notice but they weren't expecting him in on the Monday anyway before the op date changed

I was going to surest the same solution but was beaten to it.

I would try for this too just in case he isn't fit for childcare by the following Monday. If he's signed off for 2 weeks after op I can't imagine he'll be up to toddler wrangling by the Monday so the solution where you take your NWD early feels risky to me. I'd just get him to take the Monday as annual leave on the basis that the short notice isn't an issue as he's already not expected to be in

I think you are going to struggle with parenting long term if you have such limited flexibility and support networks.

The fact you have no annual leave and no one else to ask to help leaves you extremely vulnerable.

Carers leave/ unpaid leave or phone in sick

It's only because my annual leave runs April to April so I've used my entitlement for the year, I get my new entitlement in a few weeks time, so the timing of his operation is just really and tbh. I do always keep 2-3 days leave aside in case of emergencies but I'd already used those up with needing to be off with our sick toddler 🤦🏼‍♀️ There's just a lot to balance, it's difficult.

*timing is really bad, that should say

My boss isn't in today unfortunately, I've sent an email, best I can do for now

He gets sick leave.
You ask for unpaid leave as he is having an operation.
I am surprised you haven't talked to your work already incase he needs extra recovery time.
You don't need to go into details - "my husband is having an operation so I need to be off X day and maybe a couple of days after".
Pretty much every boss I had would have said "ok no problem".