People who move from job to job but are never happy. What causes it?

[peashootsalad]

I have had a friend for 2 years. During the time I’ve known her she has persistently changed jobs and I think has had at least 5 (I’ve lost count). The jobs have been in different fields but the issues she’s had are similar. She starts off happy for a few weeks, then starts to complain about how things are run, how incompetent everyone is, she’s the only one who’s any good etc. She gets quite obsessive about it and rants on about how awful it is to anyone who’ll listen. Anyone else know anyone like this? It intrigues me.

It also can be self perpetuating, because when you've worked in a few different places, you see what works and what doesn't etc., so when you move to a new employer, and see them doing things inefficiently, you do want to influence change for improvement, especially when the people in the new firm have never worked anywhere else so don't know how things are done (for the better) in other firms.

The job where I decided I wanted out within the first week was a small 2 partner firm where both partners had never worked anywhere else - both had left school and gone there (different times) and just stayed and eventually became managers and then took over as partners when the previous partners retired. Not only that, but lots of the staff had worked there for decades too and some had never worked anywhere else. Not only was it hard to look on as working practices were antiquated, they didn't even have computers (this was in the 90s!), still using typewriters and carbon copy paper, etc., it was all one big "clique" with the staff all knowing each other very well, making me feel like an outsider, lots of "private" jokes between them etc. I half expected to find a Bob Cratchit lookalike in the basement writing ledgers with a quill pen! I knew I'd never be able to change anything and that I'd end up stagnant like them, so for my own sanity started to apply elsewhere so at least I had something to look forward to whilst I bided my time there, and how right I was as it didn't get any better in the few months it took me to escape!

Yep, was going to say ADHD too. I get bored easily and need constant stimulation. I'm self employed now and get to work with several different teams on different sites which keeps things interesting for me. I actually left my last paid job because I just couldn't tolerate certain colleagues going on and on and on about their kids/partners all day long. Who pooped/woke/ate when. Every.single.day.
I don't do well with small talk at the best of times but It drove me insane.

I've recently been diagnosed with with adhd. Although this isn't really my experience I have been told this is common in people with adhd.

It probably needs pointing out to her that most people don’t love work. They do it for the money.

I think an Army upbringing and the frequent relocations from country to country definitely programme you in a different way to say someone who has grown up in the same house for the first 21 years of their lives. My friends (uni and beyond) loved holidays but I have frequently packed cases and upped and left to live abroad, without looking back. Being back in the UK and 'settled' is really boring for me, much to my partner's bemusement.

I am forever throwing things away and 'decluttering', and also think this is a behaviour borne from needing to choose which of my toys and clothes to take with us as a kid! When you move that much, you just find it easy to let go of things, people, places....jobs.

I would actually love to know if more of us 'army brats' were the same!

Interesting; we army kids seem to struggle with staying put.
I like that you ahve pushed through and found it better to stick it out.
I need to do this!

Thank you for your lovely reply x

Teaching is not for the feint hearted, that's for sure! I hope you find something in which you can thrive and that treats you better than teaching (which has always felt like an abusive relationship to me. The highs are amazing but my god the lows are so bad).

Am considering retraining as a Social worker or finding a completely different field in which I can be self employed. One day something will stick I hope!

Big hug back at ya x

I change jobs and/or start seeking a new one once I’ve learned everything, do it well, and there is no other progression. My favourite jobs were the ones where there was spontaneity and I wasn’t just sat somewhere or standing for hours doing the same thing every work day.

However, I have also left jobs due to poor/bad managers and wasn’t going to continue to be treated poorly even more so when I was surpassing targets and doing well.

''@phoenixrosehere

However, I have also left jobs due to poor/bad managers and wasn’t going to continue to be treated poorly even more so when I was surpassing targets and doing well.''

Exactly. I always perform well, do a good job and do more than my official JD to help the organisation.

In return I always get taken for granted because I work part-time and I have a disability.

Without fail my last employers have all tried to remove agreed flexible arrangements (home working) although this was the one and only perk of the job and it allows me to stay in work as a disabled person...so I have to find something else.

Employers also need to have a good look as to why employees leave after a year or two in the job.

Being part time or/and disabled often means you are treated less favourably that the rest of the staff and almost forced out.

It’s definitely internal.

could be boredom. Could be negative self talk. Could be talking themselves out of things. Could be not seeing opportunities. Could be having a big vision to do something else but the job won’t allow it. Could be not knowing themselves enough to know where they fit in but if you keep moving around I don’t know how the skill sets develop.

I had a friend like this and it ended up being ADHD. I do not think this is limited to that though. It can have a lot to do with personality and work ethic too.

You always leave bad management not bad jobs. I'm leaving mine soon as one person is making everyones life worse.
I've made sure the next one in will be as argumentative as the one I'm leaving. There will be fireworks but it's their own doing

I had two jobs in just under 4 years and I hated parts of both of them. I wasn't at my best as I'd been made redundant from the place I thought I'd work forever and it broke me a little. After hating the second place I started to wonder if I was the problem and I thought long and hard about it. I now have another job (so technically 3 in 4 years) but this one is amazing. The company is great and I'm not planning my retirement at 42.

Sometimes you're the arsehole but actually, a lot of work places take advantage, grind you down and treat you like absolute shit while promoting incompetence and we shouldn't be putting up with it because there are so many other opportunities out there. If we need to hop a bit, we should.

I'm not sure what the correct rate is tho... if this place wasn't amazing I'd definitely be thinking it was me.

You are life goals! I really want to start my own business but I don't know how or what