AIBU to think we are currently raising the most dull generation yet??

[Rosaofthevalley]

I have my own children who thankfully have a wide range of interests but they are increasingly finding it harder to actually communicate with other kids. I understand we all have different interests but I actually don’t know how to guide them through this.

I’m around a wide range of kids, schools, clubs, long term friends children, newer ones etc and it seems that an alarming amount of them have NO interests, like zero! Conversations usually revolve around phones, YouTube, TikTok, video games but they have no real world interests. This is if they look up long enough to hold a conversation with each other.

As a millennial myself I think as a generation we are seriously failing our kids. There are so many more behavioural issues, concentration and communication are at an all time low.
My friends who are still in teaching are pulling their hair out at the amount of crowd control needed on top of teaching (I left teaching 10yrs ago and definitely saw the start of a decline but nothing like now.)

I think they’re bored, but without the skills or imagination needed to combat boredom. Surely I can’t be the only one who thinks this??

What age are we talking about? My oldest is 20. His passion is working out, kickboxing and his football team. He's active - doesn't watch TV and likes to be 'doing'.
My 18 year old is creative. This week alone she and her friends went to the Science Museum, a concert at the National Gallery, an independent gallery - all spontaneously after college (half day during the week one day). They all have different interests and passions. They don't spend much time on social media.
A friends kids are into cooking, fishing, riding, sport. I know this is just a few kids, but they seem plenty active and interested.

Sorry yes I meant kid kids. Primary age. Your kids are the ages I taught and although there were odd ones they definitely had more interests than those now. Also I never had a single child in my class with a phone, whereas it’s now common place. Again, primary school.

Surely they're too young to be able to gauge whether they're 'interesting' or not? They're little children.

My dd is older, but I know a few primary aged kids and don't recognise what you describe.

Sort of. I have two young teenage relatives who have nothing to say and have their heads permanently bent over their phones. But I meet other children who won’t stop talking! And have lots of say.

I don’t think you need to be too concerned. They’re little children, primary ages, so it doesn’t really matter if they currently have no interests. Most people, like all the generations before, discover different interests all throughout their lives

I think it's pretty normal to only find your own kids interesting. Which is basically what you're saying.

My 18yo has a massive range of interests, out all the time, hardly uses social media, screen time is minimal.
My 15yo hangs around after school playing football but once he's home, it's all screens.
So a massive difference in those three years.

But I also work in early years and my word, the difference in this generation is massive. All they want is screens and they have no idea how to play or manage their emotions.

Whilst I can see what you're saying, especially with regard to technology, I think it's been the tendency of every generation ever to think that the one below it is lacking in some way. These kids will grow and evolve with our changing world like any others.

On the bright side, at least you obviously have perfect children!

I think given the col a lot of parents probably don't have money to pay for extra curriculars these days plus a lot of parents have to work full time so no time for them either. Mine only done various activities/sports as I worked part time when he was at primary and there's a lot of free/cheap/grassroots stuff on offer where I am. Again I'm in a big city, am guessing there won't be anywhere near as many options for those in small towns and villages so that will also be a factor. And then there's the pull of on the online world offering instant excitement without leaving your home which will suit a lot of anxious kids. If the home entertainment on offer nowadays was available when we were all kids our childhoods would have looked very different.

@Rosaofthevalley - As a millennial myself I think as a generation we are seriously failing our kids.

My 15 yr old used this very line to me a few months ago. She told me our generation has failed them terribly and she’s glad to have escaped the time of what they apparently call the ‘iPad babies’ (I didn’t even know they have a name). She was telling me about some videos of teachers discussing outcomes for primary school children where about a third of them are barely literate/numerate, the behaviour they see in school, the babies that barely have any social skills…

It made me think, if the children think we’ve failed them, we must be doing a piss poor job. Hopefully all is not lost, but I listen to the news, read MN and other forums and think I can’t disagree with her too much 🤷🏽‍♀️.

Umm no that’s not my experience of my own children or my friends children. I work with lots of children who don’t have the opportunities for clubs and classes and the trick for a good conversation is to find their interest as they will have one and if that interest is playing dolls, Barbie’s or making dens in the garden then so be it

Doesn't everyone on Mumsnet hey? Constant threads about other people's kids (I'm surprised they don't have their own acronym) and the many ways in which they are lacking. I really think we can mostly put this down to the fact that we naturally favour our own offspring.

I was brought up in 50s early 60s - not much tv, early on none. no tech.
My hobbies / interests were 0

I'm wondering what your children's real life interests are that are making it so difficult to find common ground with other children their age? My son is 9 and of course his friends play video games and watch some YouTube, but they are also obsessed with football and basketball and Bunny Vs Monkey and Taylor Swift and making up dance routines and a game called "lobs" which I think they have made up, but which is currently a very big deal with them. The kids who can't find common ground are either very set on interests that nobody else shares, or have some social differences.

It wouldn’t be my cup of tea either but that doesn’t mean they’re boring, they just like different things to you.

Presumably they’re talking to eachother about this stuff? So they’re not isolated.

Maybe you’re just getting older?

I can't relate to young dc having 'no interests' tbh.

Ds3 is 6. He does Rugby, karate, swimming and will talk your ear off about any of them. He chatters constantly about whatever big or important event or dress up day is coming up in school and is very passionate about it.

I sometimes go past the school yard which can be seen from the road and spot him playing. And he along with his friends seem like any kids in the school yard at playtime - running round after a ball or drawing on the yard in chalk or fighting each other with sticks and being told off or told to stop climbing xyz etc. All red faced and playing though.

With elder dc (13 and 16) things are definitely different to me at that age due to phones/gaming/tech. They both have a fair bit of time on electronics and dc1 especially seems to have one earpod in constantly in leisure time - listening to music or podcasts when he's lying on a beach, walking the dog, cleaning his room or pottering about. Never in company though.

But they too have interests. They both do one sport each religiously, play darts, poker or chess at home often, talk about all manner of things. But yes, one of their interests is the Xbox and they talk about that too.

In my locality, there is a (state) primary schools cross country league and every 2 or 3 fridays, 100s of children from around 15 schools get out for some muddy fun.
The presentation night, is packed with 100s of kids and parents cheering on the various winner categories, many of which are for children who have over come barriers, not just the top 10.
There is also inter schools dance, netball, football competitions, they all have a sports day too, competitive and non competitive, there is also a choir and some music lessons.

Vast majority of schools do not allow phones in the classroom, many ban them full stop.

If children are bored and lack interests, maybe the schools need to start stimulating children? and a start for that is involving the parents.

My DD is 8 so the age range you are talking about I guess? Yes she will talk about Minecraft ad nauseam sometimes but she is also obsessed with greek mythology. Her teacher told me last week's about conversations she and her friends have in class about the patriarchy (context being Boudica). I see them making up plays and dances, talking about their feelings, talking about nature (all her friends are currently obsessed with pandas), talking about music and films and books they love. She and her friend loving come up with inventions together, with another friend talking football and swopping football cards etc. She goes to bog standard primary school and I don't recognise your op at all.

I did a lot when younger but my main hobby at home was reading. I would read and read and read. Not dissimilar to what my kids are like with the Internet.
My daughter is one of the kids you describe, I started to talk about a tik tok post I'd seen the other day about a home design feature.... she not only knew what I was talking about, she knew the history, common usage etc etc.....me....I'd seen one tik tok post....
Don't under estimate what they get from the screen. Equally we should also make sure kids have screen free time too.

I have my own children who thankfully have a wide range of interests but they are increasingly finding it harder to actually communicate with other kids. I understand we all have different interests but I actually don’t know how to guide them through this.

Honestly I would focus on your own children's apparent lack of social and communication skills rather than worrying about other people's children. I would be concerned if my child had difficulty communicating with other children.

Just keep giving DC the iPad while out and about.... it's all there, no need to engage in the wider world!
Seriously, I think if parents engage less with very young DC then they in turn will engage less with other people.
I had this discussion with DD (19) the other day about the difference between how I raised her to the DC she encountered when working at a Primary School.

Yeah, I must admit that this was my first thought. If they're finding it hard to communicate with other kids, they clearly need some help with their social skills.

I wonder whether partly parents have seen the light. A decade ago I remember family members doing insane amounts of after school activities with their kids. All scheduled to an inch of its life and utterly exhausting for everyone. I don't think that's necessary. What I do think is a shame, is that kids don't get to hang out much just playing and messing about. Some of that is now online, so I'd rather they had that than nothing.

I don't think screens for very young children are great especially if their parents dot interact enough with them.

My dc in y8 and the behavioural problems are horrendous. I think that's the covid impact. Those developmental years were so important.i think mine was y4/y5. 🤔