AIBU to think we are currently raising the most dull generation yet??

[Rosaofthevalley]

I have my own children who thankfully have a wide range of interests but they are increasingly finding it harder to actually communicate with other kids. I understand we all have different interests but I actually don’t know how to guide them through this.

I’m around a wide range of kids, schools, clubs, long term friends children, newer ones etc and it seems that an alarming amount of them have NO interests, like zero! Conversations usually revolve around phones, YouTube, TikTok, video games but they have no real world interests. This is if they look up long enough to hold a conversation with each other.

As a millennial myself I think as a generation we are seriously failing our kids. There are so many more behavioural issues, concentration and communication are at an all time low.
My friends who are still in teaching are pulling their hair out at the amount of crowd control needed on top of teaching (I left teaching 10yrs ago and definitely saw the start of a decline but nothing like now.)

I think they’re bored, but without the skills or imagination needed to combat boredom. Surely I can’t be the only one who thinks this??

I disagree. I'm a secondary teacher and have one child in primary. Yes, it is concerning that some children spend far too much time gaming but there are plenty of children with lots of interests. I would imagine one reason for any decline would be more than a decade of austerity and rising costs of living. Funding kids activities is very expensive and many people simply can't afford it. We spend just short of £200 a month on music lessons, swimming coaching and gymnastics. We are privileged to be able to afford this but I know many people can't.

Definitely some children as you describe in my child’s class. They seem to be growing up at the very lower-end of the socioeconomic spectrum. I presume money is a main issue. However, most children seem to be doing a lot of extracurricular: swimming, dance, cubs, gymnastics, football, tennis… these are ‘working class’ families and they are doing their darnedest to raise well-rounded children. My daughter only does two activities as I was an over-scheduled child, and I believe children need downtime.

I work in a primary school, and most of the kids do sport outside school. Lots of them enjoy art and drawing. Some of the boys spend too much time playing games to the exclusion of most other things.
Some of the children complain about being over scheduled, so not enough time to relax. If they are in wraparound care before and after school and have an activity or 2 at the weekend, it doesn't leave a lot of spare time.
It's also the case that they have a lot less personal freedom than I had the same age in terms of going out, even to the park, by themselves, so it's not surprising that that they communicate with their friends via SM.
I do think parents, teachers and the adults in their lives should be trying to introduce them to new ideas and hobbies, and support interests. Take them to the library, or chess club or choir, invite friends over for board game sessions, draw with them, show them how to make things. It's hard for them to develop their own interests if they don't see adults around them doing things other than playing with their phone or working.

I'm surprised that you're surrounded by children that have no hobbies, if your children are taking part in hobbies you'd have thought that you'd be mixing with other children that have hobbies and interests at these times

I’m more concerned the next generation have no coping skills or resilience. A lot of them will make terrible employees, I can’t believe how many teens I come across who don’t have jobs.

Agree with a lot of this. I work in a private secondary and I wouldn't say doing lots of scheduled activities= having lots of interests or being particularly interesting. Lots of our pupils are scheduled up to the gills, but they've often had very little say in this, and it's partly to free up time for the parents. The kids who seem most switched on/ find it easier to talk to adults/ have their own passions aren't usually the same ones who are playing multiple fixtures on Saturday and practice two evenings a week.

But I would partially agree something a bit concerning is filtering up in the younger years about online use. I played a video of a poem being read to Year 7, and stopped when it ended- they all audibly gasped and apparently it was because I cut the voice off when it was saying "Like and Susbcribe". A lot of them seem to get a huge proportion of their "culture" in broadest terms from YouTube. They joke about Andrew Tate and use the "red pill" etc language. And lots have very short attention spans, to the extent that they are shouting out "what are we doing today?" while I'm explaining what they are doing. Also just getting up and walking around the classroom, which is a very "primary school" thing to do. I haven't experienced these things with Year 7 before. But this may well be the Covid hangover, too.

I'm quite anti-technology for young children though- these things are literally designed to rewire your brain and make you addicted (even interfaces for things like email and messengers are "gamified" to make you refresh them or stay on the app) which a lot of parents must know but choose to ignore - I do think it's utter laziness to give very young children ipads etc - better to even let them cry with boredom sometimes.

Your primary aged children are struggling to communicate with kids their own age because the other kids have no hobbies….?

I am 60 and work with 10 people 18 to 48. ALL are attached to their phones, talk incessantly about reality TV or some crap about the royal family. So noooooo I don't think this generation of kids is the most boring at all.

I hate when older people act as though “TikTok” is a subject in itself. If kids are looking at TT/Youtube etc it is probably centred on an interest. The normal things for kids/teens - cartoons, pop singers, fashion, makeup, video games, tv programmes, films, crafts, baking etc.

It’s ignorant to dismiss all of social media/internet/screens as Bad Things.

But who are her interesting kids going to socialise with if all the other kids are so boring?

My teens and their friends seem fine. Gaming is an interest but they all seem to have other interests too. And most have jobs once they get past 16. But actually they had their very early years without smartphones and ipads were realead when they were toddlers They were expensive luxuries so not common straight away.

I dont know about younger ones. I work in infant school in the office and there are issue with language aquisition but i cant say the children lack interests.

I am in Ireland but not a huge difference to the UK and I don't recognise what you're seeing. I coach my 11 year old daughters GAA football team and they are the liveliest, fittest, fun, cheeky confident bunch of girls (about 70 girls so a huge range of personalities). Yeah they are doing their tic toc dances and can be a bit giddy at times but they are bright and confident and I feel happy knowing the future is safe with them in it.

I think this is total rubbish tbh. Do you spend much time with kids? I have two pre-teens and work with teenagers, and I can always find things to talk about.

You are saying kids don't have interests, but I think you mean you don't approve of their interests. Gaming is an interest, so is social media.

This reminds me of 18th century adults complaining about young people reading books. Things change, different generations like different things.

I agree with you op. Kids these days don't even watch tv shows or films or pick up a book, let alone have other hobbies. They're mainly gaming or on YouTube and TikTok which is killing their focus.

I'm sure there are plenty of dcs who do have interests and watch films and so on but I'm referring to a large portion of society now which seems to be increasing.

I can sort of see what you are saying. My nine year old spends a lot of time on her devices. However, a lot of the time she isn’t just mindlessly scrolling or staring at YouTube. She also spends time chatting to her friends on FaceTime. So as well as being used for social media and gaming it’s also how they engage with their friends now, at least the ones that live a bit further away and less straightforward to just go out and play with them or organise play dates. I think that’s a good thing.
She also does dancing and swimming at the weekends, she reads for a while in the evenings and likes being read to, she likes crafty things like making jewellery, goes to play with friends when it’s dry and they hang out at a park nearby or ride their bikes or scooters.
Are these classed as interests? True there is a lot of chat about her favourite YouTubers and influencers but she has other interests too and is far from what I would describe as dull, nor are any of her friends that I know.

Primary school children cannot choose interests it comes down to if the parents have the money and the time to allow them to do these.
Our Daughter has always done 2 extra curricular activities but this is down to us paying for and having the time to take her.

yawn.

Mine are 10 and 8. They have friends who play instruments, go to drama classes, dance classes, dance gymnastics, play sports, run in cross country competitions, swim for local clubs… all sorts.

I'm not sure it's something to blame the current generation for?

Growing up I was horse mad and musical, however my school friends (primary and then secondary) didn't have any strong interests/hobbies/extracurricular activities, or at least not until they were old enough to get into music/concerts etc. It didn't have any impact on our ability as a group to communicate though, and I'm still close friends with 4 of them 20+ years later (where all 5 of us now have completely different hobbies and interests to each other, many of which developed as adults).

A family friend's 14 year old daughter helps out at our stables; she rides, plays cricket and netball multiple times a week outside of school and has gotten into photography with my guidance and help (now doing some paid freelance work as a result). Her young siblings are into motorbikes and horse riding and football. My group of friends have children ranging from 2 to 8, all of which are swimming, doing gymnastics, playing football, judo/karate, motorbikes, gardening(!), raising various pets. I'm not surrounded by people raising dull children and I surely can't be in the minority?!

Mine is 8, i don't see what you do. He loves the theatre, movies, music, has a comic book subscription, loves reading, goes to cubs.

His peers do various extra curricular activities - dance, kick boxing, art, beavers. My niece does gymnastics/ dance, my nephew does Beavers and is into Lego. Yes they all love a screen but they're going on adventures not scrolling SM.

It sounds like you feel your kids are just too fun and interesting for their peers but surely a well rounded child would be able to meet their peers where they are.

I have 3 teenagers

DS age 13 wants to be a palaeontologist and can talk at length about all things dinosaur, he does like youtube and gaming too though.
DS age 17 likes geography, space and wants to work for a space agency. He is a sponge and absorbs knowledge so can talk about a huge variety of subjects and is out secret weapon for pub quizzes!
DD is 15 and very creative, loves music and going to gigs, sews on her machine, loves to cook/bake etc.

My Nephew is 13 and loves space and going out to loook at the stars.
Niece is 10 and into cross country running, crafts etc.

I think all kids will have some sort of hobby or special interest. At least in my experience. But maybe we are just surrounded by people like us (and it is a fairly 'middle class' area so kids do activities and go to museums etc) - it may be that those with less access to activities and days out are more likely to just be on screens all the time

Households have two FT working parents now normally, so when they are at home they are doing housework and life admin. No time for interaction with kids, so some will gravitate towards phones and screens. It's just modern living unfortunately. I'm trying to get my son more clubs so he mixes more and has interests, and he is reluctant still. I try to give them some time each day. I would send him out to play more, but unfortunately there are dickheads with XL Bully's in my street.

It doesn't help that schools lay on more bollocks admin to people's loads now too.

I totally agree with this post and am quite sure the only ones disagreeing are those whose own kids do nothing but sitting on their phones or gaming consoles.

As a parent, my kids can have as much screen time as they want, BUT... they have to earn it with like for like minutes doing other activities. And no social media, TikTok etc...

As a teacher (Y7 to Y13) I despair at the amount of utterly dull children who have no interests other than social media or gaming. So many don't do sports, play instruments, go to clubs etc... just nothing. We run loads of clubs at school that are all free, but instead they prefer to sit and moan that they can't use their phones at school rather than try something new. When I suggest giving something a go, it's "boring".

Then in lessons they struggle to think for themselves unless it involves a screen leading them.

The numbers of kids as I describe above is increasing and it's really sad to see.

I think being able to navigate boredom is one of the best things for a child. By the time you're in your mid-teens, it's almost too late.

I have 2 DC, one is 13 one is 10
Although they do enjoying gaming ( chatting to friends on headsets ) they are also really sporty and play football for teams and swim and will play cricket in the summer.
my 13 year old also loves hanging out chatting with friends, they walk in to Town and buy a drink and walk and talk for hours. Often their mates will come over and they’re all so different and enjoy different things, Rubik’s cubes, ones ace at chess and some do drama. They’ve never seemed dull to me, full of chat and fun.