Happy birthday/mothersday etc, social media messages pointless

[Hairspray123]

OK so I am prepard to be shot down here as majority of people probably do this, but why do some people post loving adoring thankyou, happy birthday, I love you messages or other such things with selfies of them together having lots of fun when the recipient isnt even on Facebook and wont see it? I just dont get what the point is.

I absolutely get it if they are or will see and appreciate it, but when they aren't, whats the point? Is it attention seeking? Are they looking for 'likes' for self gratification?

Why wish your 6 year old an amazing first day back at school on social media? Is it to remind people they are back at school? I just dont get it. Do they then show them that they did it.

Im not talking a post expressing how proud they are telling friends something or like 'My Jimmy won first prize today and Im so proud I want to shout it from the roof tops blah blah' its when they are wishing them something specifically.

I agree - it is a communication platform. If you don't want to communicate with others, don't go on it.

(I don't think that photos of people who can't give consent should be shared, though)

My DSis used to do this: wish our DF a happy birthday every year before he died. I think it was so she could post a few photos of the two of them together where she looked fabulous!

maybe they need the sympathy. Maybe they are in a dark place and grieving and those little signals of support make them feel better. Miserable bloody people on this post. live and let live, delete facebook of it's that bad.

I thought similar to this yesterday - so many posts from people wishing their "wonderful" mother a Happy Mothers' Day. If you want to wish your mother a Happy Mothers' Day, then don't put it on social media - go and talk to her.

This is not about me being miserable - I'd have no problems with people posting how lucky they are to have a wonderful mother and maybe listing some of the things their mother does for them - that's more of a reason to post.

I don't get it either, so I deleted social media. I think the less people know about you the better. Its all smoke and mirrors in my opinion

I am barely on social media, largely because I find this sort of attention seeking nauseating.

As a carer to a disabled child, I live a very isolated existence.

Sometimes a few likes on a Facebook photo are the only interaction I have with old friends and it lifts my spirits.

There's a difference between posting
"Happy Mothers' Day to my amazing mum!!!"

and

"As it's Mothers' Day I wanted to say how I am so lucky to have my amazing mum. She's always there on the end of the phone, helps out whenever she can and is supportive of everything I take on."

The first post is irrelevant to anyone other than your actual mother. The second post is more likely to set up a dialogue or interaction (or get a like)

This is when social media as a concept works. Sadly, it’s evolved from a social communication tool, to altering how we as a society behave. We’d rather get the validation of randoms than people we can talk to and socialise with in real life, family and friends we can visit and hug in person.

I came off yesterday for the same comments. I had a lovely relaxed mothrrs day, saw and thanked those I needed to in person.
Is it to rub it in, show off?

I know some are lying cos I know how they feel about family etc but all perfect in the land of fb?!

Or the posts directly to dead relatives on FB ... eerrrr they're dead and can't read it!

What they really mean is I'm asking for likes because my DM died x years ago and I miss her!

I can’t get worked up about it.
just scroll past or don’t go on social media on Mother’s Day or any other day for that matter as there will always be someone posting something of this nature.

Don’t let it assume any more significance in your life by getting irritated about it. You won’t stop it

I made a Facebook post yesterday to honour my sister who has held me together since our mum died in November. My sister is a mum, mother in law, aunt and gran and I wanted to express how amazing she is.

My sister doesn't have a Facebook account but I knew my niece would probably show her my post. It was far easier for me to express my feeling this way than to say it to her directly. And everyone agrees she's amazing

What a mean spirited take

I don't actually have social media, however sometimes I post about my dc, who both died, on MN.

It's actually nice sometimes to have people read about them, to acknowledge them, to ask how I am, to know that sometimes they still have an impact on the world, to share that I love them and miss them in the only tangible way that I can.

Yes they are dead, and no they can't read it, but I'm still bereaved and sad about that.

Why do people imply that any sort of attention or sharing of feelings is bad?

Surely if you have social media the whole point is to share things, and get some attention/support/laughs/tears and otherwise socialise.

Some of the posters on here shouldn't have social media if they don't want to be social on it ffs.

It is totally pointless, and yet I'm annoyed dh didn't do me one yesterday. So I'm obviously the target audience for this sort of shite and I need to have a word with myself I think!

This.
A million times over.
If you just want it for groups then just use the groups. There is no law that says you have to add your friends.
I have Facebook. Use it for friends and groups. I also have Instagram. Use it for other reasons. Travel. Daft videos. Cookery. Art. Educational stuff. Very few actual friends on there. Even though they come up as a suggestion all the time.
If i see a post from a friend about her late mum's birthday i may not have realised until then. I don't know when the birthdays of parents of friends are. Why would i ? So i might send them a message or give them a call.
What harm is it doing? It doesn't affect your life in any way at all. Simply scroll past or hide their posts.
When i had a sick relative, i updated family and friends on there. No specifics. But it stopped the phone ringing and having to repeat myself every single day. Yes they're fine. Treatment going well but they are staying in again tonight. When i did two hospital visits a day, every day for weeks on end, the last thing i wanted when i got home was the phone calls asking the same questions. I wanted sleep. I needed food. I needed down time.
If you don't want to read other people's posts then hide them.
If i want to share how I'm feeling about my late parents then i will do. Because often some of the comments make me smile.

You're not alone.

I hate it too.

I often wish my friends Happy Birthday on FB because I usually won't see them on their birthday and I feel like they expect it 😂. I hate it when people wish happy birthday to their husband or kids or someone in their household, like have you not already wished them happy birthday? 🙄 Especially people with small children who don't use SM!

My sister tags me in a post wishing my mum happy Mother's Day EVERY year. My mum is completely unable to use social media! She's in a nursing home, hardly verbal and extremely limited mobility. My sister put pics of the gifts we've bought and photos of my mum with the gifts surrounding her.

It's COMPLETELY for attention and for all the aren't you a wonderful daughter comments below.

I'm taking a break from FaceBook at the minute. I'd delete it but it's handy for finding out things going on in the local area. For example, there is a new lovely wine shop opened round the corner from me and it's really hidden. If it wasn't for FaceBook, I wouldn't have known!

But I fucking hate it, just people bragging and attention seeking all the time.

It all smacks of this

😂 yes, Brilliant!

All social media is for attention. If they only cared about showing appreciation for someone/celebrating something, WhatsApp exists. And don't get me started about people who are forever posting about their kids. I don't get it, and some people are absolute bores with all the showing off. I only go on FB for some groups I'm in for my hobbies/interests, don't have Instagram, and only use Twitter for work. I've found muting people is helpful, when their show-offiness is too much.

The most hilarious thing about that is the fact you've either saved that in your phone, waiting for the moment where you can astound everyone with your wit and get the attention you obviously envisaged when you saved it, or you've went looking for it in order to attention seek get a reaction on this thread.

The irony.

Several years ago I would have disagreed with you @Hairspray123 but I have to say, I am getting sick of it now too. So much so that I have actually deactivated my facebook. Most people (I had 90 'friends') were OK, but there were about 15 to 18 or so people who did my head in.

The 30-something mommy who kept continually posting pics of herself breastfeeding her baby. She has 3 - had them all within 6 years, and I lost count of the amount of pics of her banging on about breastfeeding and how she is a 'better mother' because she does it. And she called her husband 'deeply sexual and attractive, and incredibly potent and virile.' Who the fuck does that?

Then there's a family I know who have a 65 y.o. nan, a 45 y.o. mum, and a 25 y.o grandaughter and 20 y.o. grandson. The 25 y.o. has 3 children from 5 y.o. down to 18 months, and every time I went onto facebook I saw yet ANOTHER photograph of the little kids, and all the 'I wubz my bubz' and 'super mommy strikes again' as she managed to take both children out on her own for a daytrip to the zoo. 🙄

Every single event is documented with dozens of pics, stating how they all have the best life, the best family, and how all the men are such diamonds, and the women in the family are blessed to have them in their lives. The 45 y.o. who has the 25 y.o. daughter and 20 year old son, gushes over her husband, and also goes on and on and ON about how amazing it is to be a 'nana' and posts pics of her 2 grandchildren nearly every single day, with really sickly gushing words along with each post! The 65 y.o. nana does the same.

Then there's a woman I used to work with who has 4 kids - all in their 30s now - and she is always bragging about her holidays to New Zealand, Canada, South Africa, and the multiple cruises she has, and again, going on about her amazing man, and her wonderful grandchildren. and what a gift they are, and how she actually probably loves them more than her own children! (?!) She states how she has the best life, and she understands if people are jealous!

Then there are a few others who keep posting messages and pics of their kids, grandkids, dog, cat etc, and seem to post happy birthday messages to someone once a week. And I started to feel like I had to 'like' every single post in case they were offended that I didn't acknowledge it.

Then you have the people who post rants, and posts having a go at other people, and getting into fights online. And the people on the local area facebook group who would 'shame' somebody parked partly on the pavement, or who let their dog poo near someone's driveway, and would post a photo of them, or their car. Such attention seeking, nasty behaviour.

It started to become a bit stressful, and it was ridiculous.

I know I probably sound a bit daft/ridiculous/dramatic, but I am done with facebook now. I still have it deactivated and don't intend to reactivate it anytime soon. The people in my life I love and care about - and who love and care about me - are right here in my life to speak to. I don't need to wish them Happy Birthday (or whatever,) on fucking facebook!

It's the wishing dead relatives a happy birthday for me... I don't get it either!

I agree