Happy birthday/mothersday etc, social media messages pointless

[Hairspray123]

OK so I am prepard to be shot down here as majority of people probably do this, but why do some people post loving adoring thankyou, happy birthday, I love you messages or other such things with selfies of them together having lots of fun when the recipient isnt even on Facebook and wont see it? I just dont get what the point is.

I absolutely get it if they are or will see and appreciate it, but when they aren't, whats the point? Is it attention seeking? Are they looking for 'likes' for self gratification?

Why wish your 6 year old an amazing first day back at school on social media? Is it to remind people they are back at school? I just dont get it. Do they then show them that they did it.

Im not talking a post expressing how proud they are telling friends something or like 'My Jimmy won first prize today and Im so proud I want to shout it from the roof tops blah blah' its when they are wishing them something specifically.

So do you wish people, who are not on social media and will never see it, a Happy Birthday with selfies of you both doing various things.
.

Yes, I reckon delete social media, or try going social media free to see if you like it. Start a movement! You can avoid all this cringey stuff and more. I still manage to spend 2 hours 40 on my phone on average each day without social media. I've never missed anything important by deleting, not that I'm aware of!

I know a couple who do this all the time. The worst is when they communicate through each others fb pages ‘X shall we do this?’ ‘Yes we def should Y’ um hello you share a bed together, talk about it in person!
and when their 9 year old is sick, a picture of him (looking a bit WTF to whoever is taking the pic) is put on fb with ‘Poorly DS today, bless him’ - why are you taking a photo of your kid when he’s sick?! Then posting it on the internet?!?
The husband even ‘checks in’ to work. Literally tells everyone he’s at work. Imagine if everyone on fb was posting that they are… at work

@MadamMuck I have deleted it a few times, but always end up back in. I dont do Instagram, and I cut down friends on FB but I do like the groups, things like house renovations in USA (I am UK and so a totally different style of house), or comical groups, Rate my plate was a firm favourite a few years ago!

It’s the “feeling blessed” with (insert name of bloke) bollocks that makes me puke.

@mushforbrain 😂

The heavenly wishes drive me insane. They’re often for someone who died years ago. My sister in law posts heavenly birthday wishes for their nan who is “loved and missed every day”. She died 40+ years ago and is remembered as a miserable old goat by my dh!!

But to me that would make much more sense & I never thought about it that way. I will now though.

If you were real friends you’d know how they were feeling or needed support and you’d pick up the phone or ask them round - see a friend hurting if FB doesn’t make you a good friend. ‘Liking’ a post isn’t enough is it?

It’s attention seeking. And a complete lack of self awareness.

Totally agree, and the ones wishing the dead relative a happy x y or z! My mother's siblings regularly do this on Facebook, even though she isn't on any form of social media and doesn't even have a mobile phone! They sometimes don't even tag me in it so could be a day or two before I see it. Absolutely pointless 🤷

Totally agree @Geminijust particularly sad to think nobody bothers to ask permission of those with dementia, because does it even count as consent if they’ve no idea where the video is being posted?

Actually yes. I do a birthday post for my ds. Although he read it this year.

I also do a message every year on the anniversary of my best friends death. It's been 13 years but I know it means a great deal to his Mom so I do it for her.

It's always sincere and heartfelt and I know how much it means to her. She does one too as does his sister.

I don't mind being cringey.

I don't post many pics of myself but I'm not ashamed when I do. Is it asking for attention? Absolutely. Why is that a problem though?

You're posting this thread looking for attention and agreement from complete strangers.

That's not a bad thing, but you are not dissimilar.

It's for the poster's self esteem

They want the glory

Interesting perspective,

However, starting a discussion anonymously online about something is not the same, you missed the point. No-one knows who I am for a start, so there is so self gratification from knowing that others I have not seen for 20 years are thinking Im amazing and kind.

I do understand what you said about your friend and why you post those messages but thats not really connected to my question, your remembrance post is just different and understable IMO.

Wishing someone a happy birthday who is not on social media who wont see it and who is alive is attention seeking in another way. Why do you want people to be offering their birthday wishes to you and not the person whos birthday it actually is? Is is not in a way deflecting the attention away from the person whos birthday it is and onto you in some way?

I dont know how old your son is, or if he would even yet have the ability to comprehend what you are posting about him online.

Interesting though thank you for adding to the discussion.

This hits a nerve with me as my own mum is in the same position. I visited her yesterday with flowers & chocolates but saw absolutely no need to post about it on social media!

i do it because i live abroad and all my family are in facebook and get to see my kids growing up and their achievements. My kids are teenagers so also have facebook. I also do it because it shows up on my memory feed, i have them going back to 2008.

Josette77

Surely a phone call would be better or post a card?

Same for birthdays the people who know your son well know it’s his birthday - Janet from yoga has never met your son and doesn’t care of it’s his birthday - family will send cards and gifts.

I don’t know, are you friends with lots of people who are desperate for attention? Why?

my own experience is that extroverted people use social media very differently to introverted people. It was one of the first things I realised about grief and it helped me to be less judgmental of people I care about who are simply more public than I.

My ex friend was like this. Everything went on SM for the likes. She once picked up her phone to check the time and her DD jumped to pose for a picture. She would take pictures of the most ridiculous things.
I ditched SM but DH likes a scroll on it and shows me the stupid gushy, fake posts family put on. My usual reply is "dickheads."
I used to really like people until SM came along 😐

Prepared to be absolutely flamed here. I did a heavenly Mother’s Day one yesterday. Out of character for me. My mum has been dead 7 years but yesterday I felt the saddest I had about her not being here in a long time. I just wanted people to remember what a vibrant fun woman she was and that I missed her.

It's the ' heavenly' ones that do me .
Most of your friends will have no interest in seeing your mum , great nan etc and I'm not sure what the poster would get from it except a sympathy emoji count

Totally agree. I love seeing people's Mother's Day flowers, it's nice 🤷‍♀️

I rarely post anything at all on social media, but if I do post something then it will be because I want people I care about to share in something nice that's happened to me. The type of people who'd be bothered by that are not the type of people I keep in my social circle, thankfully!

I don’t get it either. Some ppl just seem to live their lives through social medial.

It's all for attention. The ones on my FB that do this are the ones struggling the most. They want people to think they have a happy life to make themselves feel better.

I agree op it's attention seeking. All the mothers day stuff is awful too, so upsetting for anyone who last their child or their mother.

Just go and spend time with your mum, no need to waste time on Facebook!