To think son should accept this sleeping arrangement offer?

[ellyoctober]

We're away next weekend and DS would like a gathering of friends and a few to sleepover.

All fine by me.

I've offered blow up beds in the play room and a double sofa bed in a spare room. Also he has a double bed. There's also a comfy couple of sofas in the living room.

There's only 3 maybe 4 who'll stay over.

I've asked him explicitly not to go in or allow any of his friends to go into any othwr bedrooms, but he's asked if his oldest friends can sleep in one of the spare doubles of his older sisters (3 out of the 4 girls have left home but I like to keep their rooms welcoming as they sanctuary if they come home at all).

I've said no not in the sisters beds (or ours 😭).

But he says he cba to blow up any airbeds.

AIBU to be resolute?

You’ve got empty bedrooms of course they should be allowed to use them.
weird that you would say no.

He cba to even blow up beds? So does that mean you'll come home to a bombsite because he also cba to tidy up after his good time?

Tell him to ask his sisters if they would mind

Hmm. I mean it does seem odd to blow up a bunch of air beds if you have spare beds being generally unused (completely fair enough your room though). I’d make sure he’s the one to change the sheets after though.

But if you don’t want that then yes, he’ll have to accept what you will allow and be happy that he can have mates over to stay.

Fair enough no one in your room, but I think it's absolutely mad that you have a number of empty rooms but would make people sleep on a blow up bed.

Your room fair enough but the others are guest rooms if your daughter's don't live there anymore. As long as he stripped and washed the sheets after , surely that's what they're for?!

Can't be arsed to blow up a bed...good luck with the clean up.

I would ask the sisters if they mind.

I think that would be fair enough but if he can't be bothered to blow up air mattresses then I doubt he's going to do the washing.

There’s still quite a few of the girls’ possessions in their rooms , they’re not really spare rooms.

He’s quite good at the clear up, that’s not an issue. He’ll get it all done before we’re back home.

If he can't be arsed with the air beds then no sleepover..... simples

When did your daughters move out? Still at uni and come home in the holidays I'd consider them their rooms and he can ask his sisters if it's ok. If they have their own homes they need to take their stuff with them or accept that guests will be in those rooms at times.

MIL still calls a bedroom at their house DHs room but he only ever lived there in the summer holidays whilst at uni, because they moved during his first term at uni. He never lived there full time and he's now 40, MIL used to tell/ask DH if it was ok if guests could stay there and in the end he said mum is not even my room I haven't lived there for a decade and never lived there full time, do what you like with it.

As your daughters no longer live with you, I think your sons friends should be able to use the beds.

First thought, no one wants to have sex on a blow up bed, especially teenagers with a free house.

No means no! You are very reasonable.

Surely they can use one of the sister's bedrooms for one night? Just make sure he puts the bedding in the washing machine and put away any posessions that would get in the way?

I would let him use the bedrooms.

This. And consider downsizing

No way would I want a teenage boy breathing into my pillows while I’m away. Or being in a room with my possessions. Grim. Tell him to blow up the beds! Lazy sod.

This tbh it's less hassle for everyone

If they were going to steal anything they'll do it anyway regardless of where they sleep!

Definitely NOT bring unreasonable and I think it's amazing that you are protecting your daughter's space and making sure they feel like their space is "theirs".

His friends will help him blow up the beds and they are young guys, they will be FINE!

I would have felt very uncomfortable having some young guy sleeping in my room when my things were there.

First thought, no one wants to have sex on a blow up bed, especially teenagers with a free house.

I don't suppose op's daughters want teenagers having sex in their beds, either.

Breathing into your pillows? What do you think would happen? 😂

If he cba to blow up the beds how is he going to ash and change the bedding?