To think son should accept this sleeping arrangement offer?

[ellyoctober]

We're away next weekend and DS would like a gathering of friends and a few to sleepover.

All fine by me.

I've offered blow up beds in the play room and a double sofa bed in a spare room. Also he has a double bed. There's also a comfy couple of sofas in the living room.

There's only 3 maybe 4 who'll stay over.

I've asked him explicitly not to go in or allow any of his friends to go into any othwr bedrooms, but he's asked if his oldest friends can sleep in one of the spare doubles of his older sisters (3 out of the 4 girls have left home but I like to keep their rooms welcoming as they sanctuary if they come home at all).

I've said no not in the sisters beds (or ours 😭).

But he says he cba to blow up any airbeds.

AIBU to be resolute?

In similar circumstances, ds used to ask his sister if she minded her room being used. She had rules, and if she felt the rules would be kept she said yes. If not, not.

It isn't the idea they might steal, it is the idea that they might be tempted to nosy through possessions.
I'd just tell DS that if he doesn't want to blow up airbeds his mates sleep on the floor. Or blow the up themselves. Or sleep at home. Your boundary stands regardless of what he can or cannot be arsed to do.

Tbh there's enough space with his bed, a double sofa bed, and 2 sofas in the living room he doesn't really need the airbeds if at least 2 people share a bed/sofa bed.

Which he's done when he's slept over at friends houses.

Yes I see the girls' rooms as their sanctuaries.

Not concerned about theft, these are a good gang, there's ever been any issues previously with unwanted behaviour.

Just I wouldn't like my zone intruded on so I guess I ascribe that to the girls' rooms too.

Why downsize? 😵‍💫

Personally I'd let his friends sleep in the empty rooms.

I do think your way of thinking is strange as they’ve moved out, but if that’s how you feel, he’ll have to deal with it.

Total aside but you have seven bedrooms?!

Can he just drag the mattresses into play room? Saves blowing up beds and keeps your girls rooms from being used x

Its totally up to you! I wouldn't of liked my brothers friends sleeping in my bed as a teenager. Your son just needs to accept your rules.

Your house, your rules. To be honest though I suspect even if he claims to agree to your rules that they still will sleep in those rooms. Afraid you will need to lock the doors.

If I was lucky enough to have a house with all those beds I would be delighted to let my child's friends enjoy them, but each to their own.

I would let them sleep in the spare beds yes, but not yours! He should be sorting out washing the bedding etc afterwards.
Don't really understand why you wouldn't?

It’s weird not to use the bedrooms if you have them. I can understand you not wanting them in yours, but that’s about it

Oh come on. Teenagers will have sex anywhere including much more uncomfortable places than a blow up bed

The girls don’t live with you anymore.

YANBU, i wouldn't want some drunk guy sleeping in/having sex in a bed i sleep in when i'm home, nor noseying through my possessions.

I know that but how often do they get a proper bed with privacy?

Might be just my experience.

Tell him it’s less hassle to blow up an airbed than to change the sheet

I think this is a bit mean OP - his older sisters have actually moved out?! surely it's much better to have kids sleeping in proper rooms then do a bedding change?

Why? They have moved out and no longer live there. Don’t see the precedence that you have to ask them everytime you went to use their old room.

OP can use the rooms for whatever she wants, it’s nice to have spare rooms for them to be able to come back if they need to but that doesn’t mean leaving the room in the same state that they left it 3, 4 5 etc years ago.

It would be different if they were at Uni but if they have truly moved out than it makes no sense keeping their old room so that no one else can ever use it.

I’m guessing your daughters have personal things in their rooms so not really set up as guest rooms as such.

Yabu if there is a spare bedroom

Ok it's your house, your rules, so you can say what you want. BUT

You've got a 6? bedroom house with three of the rooms sitting as essentially shrines in case any of your older daughters ever decide they need to come home. Which suggests an element of hope that they will. I think you need to examine that. One day you'll have five shrines that cannot be touched. What about when there's grandkids? What if you ever need a smaller or more accessible home?

This is so weird OP. They've moved out.