To not want to give DD money to go get clothes?

[FreckleHeckle]

On her own?
She's 15 and has no real concept of money

She wants to go shopping with her friend to buy some clothes but I just know she won't try any of it on (hates changing rooms) will buy totally impractical stuff.

She loves vintage but in the way that a coat from a ' cool vintage shop' for £65 would be super cool but the SAME coat in a charity shop or carboot for £10 would be gross.

And yes I've told her a million times where vintage shops get their stock 😂😂

Obviously she is getting to the age where I have to just let her but I'm dreading to see what she comes back with, especially considering money isn't exactly bountiful right now.

I also remember my mum giving me £100 when I was 15 to go get school shoes, bag and a coat and coming back with a Shaun the Sheep bag and a tonne of CDs 😂😂😂

I remember reading that if you want your DC to learn to budget, it's no use buying everything for them and giving them a tiny amount of pocket money, you have to give them enough to make mistakes with, so that they notice when they've made a mess and can't afford something that's important to them. Seemed fairly sensible.

Teenage years at home are when you hope they'll make all therir big mistakes, rather than in the unforgiving grown up world of work and self reliance.

I was about that age when I started getting a clothing allowance with pocket money - so I had to buy all my non-essential clothes. It's a good opportunity to learn about target saving and budgeting.

All three of mine were very different. I don't think my son could ever have been trusted to know what clothes to buy tbh. I presume he can now he's 23, but I'd still not trust him to pack for a holiday if I'm honest.

My eldest daughter, I used to give an allowance to, which was for everything except school uniform, warm winter coat, decent shoes and undies. Clothing allowance only.

My youngest, me and her Dad (my ex) have been giving her an allowance to cover everything since she was 14. By everything, I mean; all clothes, school lunches, activities, spending money, school trips, hair cut and colour, make-up, the lot really. And she's done really well as she's still managed to save 3k in the last 2-3 years. It started as an experiment driven by the fact a) she's pretty good at prioritising and b) her father didn't want to pay me a penny in maintenance as obviously I'd just spend it on living the high life.

All 3 of mine would have treated (say) 200 quid cash "for clothes" in completely different ways. At that age, I'd probably have spent half in "Mark One" and the rest on fags and booze, not gonna lie.

@PrincessTeaSet

How many places do you know have 2 hour shifts?!

Our neice, who is 16, works one night a week, finishing at 10pm, then a weekend shift that starts at 6am so she can get in a 12 hour shift! It was hard for her to get that….. this idea of 2 hour shifts before 7pm with an hour’s rest for every 4 hours worked… it isn’t practical in retail and hospitality and the pay is crap for young people.

As for babysitting, gardening and dog walking, fair enough, but how many parents would leave their children under the supervision of a child under 16?! I wouldn’t.

No doubt it is valuable in terms of work ethic, but for me I want my DC primarily to be concentrating on getting good grades to contribute towards getting into Uni. If they do some casual work on the side and it doesn’t impede their performance - great. But it certainly isn’t expected.

I can count on one hand how many people I knew who worked under 16 across not only my year group but the one above and below when at school.

Glad your DD had a good day, OP ♡

My DD is 19 now is and is very stylish - thanks to not going clothes shopping with her clueless mum. I trusted her to make mistakes and learn from them - as you are doing.

I remember reading that if you want your DC to learn to budget, it's no use buying everything for them and giving them a tiny amount of pocket money, you have to give them enough to make mistakes with, so that they notice when they've made a mess and can't afford something that's important to them. Seemed fairly sensible

Very sensible indeed.

oh this is bringing back memories of me at 15! I needed a new school skirt and coat to go back to school for year 11 (so clearly an autumn/winter coat).
I returned with something that could generously be described as a summer jacket, and a skirt which, in hindsight, I did not have the legs or the arse for.
My mum looked at my purchases and at 15 year old me who was spoiling for a ‘you said I could get what I wanted as long as it stuck to the uniform rules’ fight and said ‘if you want those then fine, but I won’t be giving you the money to buy anything else if you change your mind once you can’t take them back.’
It was a long, cold, skirt-pulling-down-as-it-rode-up-constantly winter.