To not want to give DD money to go get clothes?

[FreckleHeckle]

On her own?
She's 15 and has no real concept of money

She wants to go shopping with her friend to buy some clothes but I just know she won't try any of it on (hates changing rooms) will buy totally impractical stuff.

She loves vintage but in the way that a coat from a ' cool vintage shop' for £65 would be super cool but the SAME coat in a charity shop or carboot for £10 would be gross.

And yes I've told her a million times where vintage shops get their stock 😂😂

Obviously she is getting to the age where I have to just let her but I'm dreading to see what she comes back with, especially considering money isn't exactly bountiful right now.

I also remember my mum giving me £100 when I was 15 to go get school shoes, bag and a coat and coming back with a Shaun the Sheep bag and a tonne of CDs 😂😂😂

@YouJustDoYou

The type of work under 16s can do is tightly restricted to the point where it makes them ineligible to apply for most part time jobs available.

https://www.gov.uk/child-employment/restrictions-on-child-employment

It’s very poorly paid and most parents want their children to be focusing on their GCSEs so they have higher earning capacity and greater employability in the long run.

OP, it's normal to make impulsive decisions at that age. But it's also a privilege - for families that had money to throw away!
As PP said, sort her main wardrobe and give her weekly pocket money to save, and buy herself a little something. A few tops and jeans is too much personally.
But you don't have to let her loose with £100 the way you were.

Chelsea Girl! What a blast from the past.

I would give her the money but before she goes sit down with her and work out together what amount of clothing she needs eg x tops, x trousers etc. And then maybe give an extra little bit for something fun and for coffee/cake or McDonald’s. Let her know that you are also happy to go with her if there is anything she doesn’t find with her friends (but still comes out of the amount).

I'd insist on going with her for essentials like school shoes, anything else I'd suggest one item at a time if she's out shopping with friends.
I'd have her make a list of what she actually needs, and encourage window shopping for the first trip, to see what there is, try a few things on, and narrow down her list. Then she can go back for another trip with friends and buy something from the considered, pared down list. Essentials first, them maybe a vintage coat or something if she's budgeted accordingly.
I do remember saving for literally months (Xmas, birthday and Saturday job money) to get an afghan coat from Kensington market decades ago, which necessitated several trips down there to view what was on offer and make the vital final choice!

I remember being given money for new school shoes. Went to the pet shop and came home with a rabbit! Hopefully your DD does better than me 😂

That's amazing, 😂

Well she's gone with £60 so will see what she comes back with.

Not sure why it's so funny that you're continuing the chain of poor spending choices, if you had so much money you didn't care that's different. The whole point of being a parent is doing better than the previous generation.

😂 OK love 👌

Poor spending choices. Am creasing.

Do you have a severe blunt bob and a crystal ball cause you must be Mystic Meg if you're able to deduct my entire spending history, financial situation and bank balance from this post.

Even the middle classes are feeling the pinch in this economical climate.

Maybe put a lottery ticket on as that's impressive!

"I see your daughter in Primark spending £13 on a cardigan, this the manifestation of your poor financial upbringing and you need to do betterrrr"

We always shop as a family, so not sure how having your mum with you to try clothes is bad. When she turns 16 and has a small job, she can do what she wants with the money and then you can see is she financially wise. Some people learn the financial ropes at the age of 30 something after many many struggles. I have seen it

I worked with many youngers in hospitality and shops. The parents always gave them lifts and picked them up, because one of the venues was in a country side with long drive into a massive garden. If your parents give you lifts, it is no shame for them to come and make sure teach you what clothes you need, how to budget on what you need and if you then like something with a frill, to buy it, once your basics are covered.

When I worked in a clothes shop, we sometimes tried clothes in our free time also. This is how you learn what fit you, even as an adult. Go in the changing rooms, put it on, come out and the colleagues will give an opinion. Being conveniently and comfortably dressed for the correct weather does not come naturally to young girls. Hasnt your grandma or mum never told you that you forgot your jacket

I had to get new shoes when I was around 12. Went to town with my dad, went into M &S and purchased some wedges ( we are talking late 70s) . I thought I looked fabulous obviously in them as I clumped downstairs in them at 12:30 to show my mum. (I think my dad asked me if they’d be ok for school to which I replied “of course dad”)

My mum was on the 1:30 bus back into town to return them.

So even going with a parent can cause issues ! 🤣

Because I realise that my tastes and knowledge on what suits me is not necessarily what youngsters wear. I also realise that as an adult I am not so subject to peer pressure over clothes, I am fine with being old and sticking to my choices, even if they are dated. Although my mothballed 90’s outfits have recently been appropriated as fashion does come round again 😂

as I said in a pp, my mum thought she was fashionable and knew clothes. She did grow up in the 60’s and 70’s, she was actually bloody good with designing and very trendy as a youngster.

as an older woman with money she was very focussed on “classy”, appearing expensive, and clothes that lasted. The disposable fashion of new look and primary to her was a waste of money.

lets face it, most grown adults will not “get” young fashion, no matter how much they think they keep up with trends. there is also that no way is a mum paying for clothes and not having a say in what is bought.

at that age friends opinions are much more important than mum’s.

The mobile phone is your friend here!

Ask her to send you photos of the options that she likes - she might surprise you in a good way.

She's never going to learn if you don't let her try though.... make it clear that this is her budget for x amount of time and you won't be buying her more clothes so if she buys impractical things it's her problem really. Also apart from being inconvenient most shops do refunds so if she hangs on to all her receipts she can try things on at home and return them if they don't fit, not the end of the world

I think I was 14/15 when I started buying my own clothes, I bought some pretty awful things and had no fashion sense at all but it was a part of growing up and learning to handle money and budget for those things you needed as well as the things you wanted. I was working at 14 but probably only earning £20 ish a week which wasn’t really enough to buy a pair of jeans and cover the bus fair into town.

Im now 42 and still have no fashion sense and am pretty rubbish with money 😬, I do enjoy shopping though even if I often buy things that I’m never going to wear. My mum rarely went shopping with me as a teenager, she just let me get on with it and make my own awful mistakes with fashion.

Well she had £60. She brought me £10 back. Spent £30 on bras and knickers and £20 on books 😂

Aw! I’m almost disappointed in her!!!!

@FlibbertyGibbitt

Or a grandparent.

At 13 I desperately wanted black platform boots like the Spice Girls had from top shop.

Mum said no.

Brought grandfather into town, boots acquired, as well as blue sparkly nail polish and purple eyeshadow!!

@FreckleHeckle

She did great!!

Are the bras sensible?!

I remember having £20 and got saucy red bra and thong - again, out of top shop - to impress a bf and hid them from Mum!!

also bought a rabbit @Redcase loved reading your post!!

Bringing back fond memories!! My poor Mum!

@Redcase 😂😂😂

She's 15, not 10! Let her be happy in what she wears. We get enough judgement from the rest of the world.

What are you talking about? Where have I made any judgement about what she wears?

I'm saying she may spend it on other stuff, which she did, books,.

I never said I didn't like her choice eof clothes

Have you read what you are linking to? It's not restrictive at all, only says no industrial or factory sites and limited hours. They can still work at weekends and up to 2 hours on a school day. That leaves cafés, shops, casual work such as babysitting, gardening, dog walking, all of which I did before leaving school. I think doing those jobs was of enormous benefit in later life. Earning your own money is important but it's not just that. There are so many lessons to be learned about the workplace and how to behave etc. GCSEs are not difficult, and do not need to be focused on to the exclusion of normal life.