To think that bringing a dog to a social occasion changes the dynamic

[Sundaycoffee]

Have plans with a friend for a nice lunch and cocktails in a couple of weeks time. She's asked if I would mind bringing her puppy as her partner is now going out for the day.
This would mean changing some of our plans to go to a dog friendly location. I also said it changes the dynamic of the day having a puppy there and she couldn't see how?

I've suggested potentially doing it another day when she isn't tied down with the puppy and we aren't so restricted on where we go (I can't afford to go out all the time, so if I am going I would rather it be just us without having a puppy in tow to mediocre places I wouldn't necessarily choose just to accomodate the dog)
She now isnt happy and I'm wondering AIBU and maybe just suck it up to save the argument.

You’ll probably be told YABU and it’s a puppy and they’re the bestest but I’m with you - no thanks I want to talk to you not endlessly have to faff about and accommodate you tiny shitting machine :)

YANBU, and I say that as a dog owner…my sister brings her dog everywhere, and lovely though he is, he’s a 2 year old working cocker and a pain in the arse

I agree with you, would prefer to rearrange in this circumstance

I have a dog, who I love to bits, but it will definitely change the dynamic. A good owner will be constantly on alert, particularly with a puppy who might need a wee or poo more often than an adult, and who might get under people's feet.

Dog owner and agree with you. I like the chance to get dressed up and go out without the dog! It's a bit like kids tbh, you can't fully relax and with a puppy you know you'd get people popping over to stroke and exclaim over it too, interrupting your meal.

I am a massive dog fan but say YANBU.

I love having dogs at social occasions but it very much depends on who is going, what the occasion is and the dog itself. Relaxed family BBQ - great! Pub meal with well-behaved adult dog - fine! Cocktails with a puppy - nah! You'll end up wearing the cocktails!

If your plans were to have a day of walking or hiking in the Countryside I'd say yabu and a bit mean.

But trying to shoehorn a dog into activities that really aren't dog friendly is miserable. A nice meal and cocktails is not an appropriate place to drag your puppy.

What? No way! You gave a polite reply and she's batshit!

Would you go for a nice cocktails day out with a toddler?

Slightly different if it was an old quiet dog on death's door that couldn't be left alone. Not ideal but doable.

But a puppy? No way!!!

Big dog lover but if I asked a friend if they minded me bringing a dog and they didn’t seem keen then I’d rearrange. Bringing a puppy of course changes the dynamic and they aren’t going to lie under the table for hours. Better to rearrange or just go for a walk instead

Yes having a dog changes the dynamic. Some people don’t like the dynamic with a dog- personally I prefer the dynamic with a dog.

Suggest you do it another day- if it were me I use my dog as an excuse to go for a bit of a walk and a trip to the pub. Fancy lunch and cocktails not my bag😩so I would push back.

Of course it changes the dynamic the same as bringing your child or your partner. She doesn’t want to see it because it doesn’t suit her.
You answered her really nicely and it was her chance to understand the hint.
Stay strong - you are sending her message for many years ahead!

YANBU and I'm a dog owner. If it was a pub lunch after a walk, I'd say you were unreasonable but what your friend is proposing will either change the dynamics of the day, or mean a complete change of plans.
Day cocktails and lunch aren't activities to bring a dog to.

I love my dogs with every fibre of my being. But no way would I take them to social events with friends as it just isn't necessary unless I'm out the whole day, but then I'd decline the invite and rearrange for a time my husband will be home.

a dog will definitely change the dynamics. As said if you’d been going out for a hike totally fine depending on how far you guys were planning. Drinks? That’d be a nope. And I type this with my lovely dog laying at my feet.

A puppy in a cocktail bar? She is batshit. YANBU

YANBU - just say NO!

I am a dog owner and it drives me up the fucking wall when people bring their dogs to everything. Just leave them at home! If they can't be left alone and wherever/whatever your doing is not suitable for a dog, then you either can't go or someone sits with them at the home instead.

Surely no one thinks that including a puppy is the same as a no puppy outing, that would be crazy

Yanbu.

So fed up with people making their dogs the centre of everything.

Also a dog owner. YANBU. There is no reason to bring your dog on a day out with your friend. The puppy will be perfectly fine at home for a few hours. Say no and have that boundary created, otherwise every time you arrange something there'll be a request to bring the dog along.

Dog lover and owner here. YANBU at all. Dogs are great but I really don't get the need to take them to everything with you. Of course it changes the dynamic.

No I wouldn't go

YANBU, dog changes the dynamic everywhere, even on a hike.

Fgs we need to stop this nonsense of taking dogs everywhere. What does a dog need to be there for? Presumably she goes to work and functions fine otherwise? Just say no otherwise the bloody dog will be part of all your future plans.

Yep. Massively changes the dynamic.

i get ignored and everyone fusses the dog, competing over who gets to cuddle him.