To think that bringing a dog to a social occasion changes the dynamic

[Sundaycoffee]

Have plans with a friend for a nice lunch and cocktails in a couple of weeks time. She's asked if I would mind bringing her puppy as her partner is now going out for the day.
This would mean changing some of our plans to go to a dog friendly location. I also said it changes the dynamic of the day having a puppy there and she couldn't see how?

I've suggested potentially doing it another day when she isn't tied down with the puppy and we aren't so restricted on where we go (I can't afford to go out all the time, so if I am going I would rather it be just us without having a puppy in tow to mediocre places I wouldn't necessarily choose just to accomodate the dog)
She now isnt happy and I'm wondering AIBU and maybe just suck it up to save the argument.

If she's so convinced it won't change anything why can't her partner take the puppy on their day out? As it appears she had made plans first and the partner having made plans later is the problem. Otherwise offering to change to another date is more than reasonable, as again, she had made plans with you first.

Because its her dog basically. She wanted the puppy and he wasnt particualrly keen so said fine but it's your responsibility to look after, which she agreed to. She also said she didn't think I would mind so in her head I don't even think she thought it was an issue and I would just say ok

I love puppies and I love cocktails but they don’t go together

✅ Dog and park
✅ Puppy and park
✅ Dog and pub
❌ Puppy and cocktails

Your friend is BU.

Did you actually say "it changes the dynamic of the day" in RL? 🤣

Saying you really fancied cocktails which isnt dog friendly so you are disappointed but (if you wanted to) lets go for a walk with the dog instead and have a catch-up (no money involved) and/or do cocktails another day would have been easier for her to understand why you felt that way.

I like dogs but not puppies. It doesn’t sound as though your plans will work for a puppy - and the people who run the bar / restaurant will probably be horrified by its arrival.

Realistically, if the puppy is there, it will be all you end up talking about. Once you’ve moved the conversation on, someone will come to fuss the puppy and it’ll move back to the puppy. I remember hanging out with some friends and their (lovely) dog and thinking how tired I was of hearing about other people’s pets. In fairness I’d hung out with a succession of people-with-pets and had just about had enough.

I remember being really pissed off with a friend I hadn't seen for ages, she had this puppy, and it was obviously the focus of the entire conversation. It also was obsessed with biting my feet/ shoes. I didn't see her for a couple of years by which time she'd had a baby. At least the baby doesn't eat footwear.
Once the dog is bigger (I hope not too big) then maybe you can meet her at a dog friendly pub or something, or when it's warmer in the park. But drinks, nice meals etc cocktails, are not really dog friendly.

YANBU, it’s like bringing a toddler - changes the entire occasion.

Yep totally, and I say that as a dog owner. Had a meet up with friends at new year and 2 of them bought a dog so it changed where we spent time and it was really annoying. A different date is the obvious answer here!

I met a friend for lunch and drinks recently and it didn't even occur to me to tell her I was bringing my dog. The dog loves being out and we have a very smart - cocktail level - bar near us that is dog friendly. It was really lovely.

Total dog lover here and it’s a no from me.

@ancienticecream spot on. A dog changing a dynamic in a positive way. And the OPs friend is not springing it on her last minute.

Stick to your guns and say no. People get a puppy and think everyone will be obsessed and it’ll be welcome everywhere…no. Leave the dog at home!