Mental health support at Uni - social sports clubs would help not just for elite players

[Neapolitanicecream]

Hello all my YP is struggling with loneliness at a Uni that was considered top last year !!!! A lot of the clubs are on paper only so it looks good on someone CV 🤔

her cousin at a very sporty uni is thriving at a midlands uni renowned for sports, (so he thought he wouldn’t get into any clubs) but the uni have inter-houses social football…. Brilliant idea to support YP mental health.

please please so called top unis with amazing sports facilities please introduce social sports and not just for the elite

Not just sport

i played an instrument all through childhood. I was never going to be good enough to play professionally or even at the university level, but I still really enjoyed it.

when I went to a different university for my graduate degree, that school had an all-levels music program. We had a funded conductor and met once a week in small skill appropriate groups to play. We even had recitals It was a wonderful social activity and definitely good for mental health.

my YP is struggling with loneliness at a Uni that was considered top last year !!!! A lot of the clubs are on paper only so it looks good on someone CV

This doesn't make sense.

As pps have pointed out - "Top" for what ?
A good marketing department can find an area that their University is 'top' for.
If you went out and asked the public at large which the 'top; universities are, people would generally list the most academic.
If you were looking for a "top" university for pastoral support of the students, then most of those Universities wouldn't feature in the list of "the most academic" universities.

Then what does this mean ?
A lot of the clubs are on paper only so it looks good on someone CV

When you look around, the University can tell you what clubs and societies are running that year, or that ran the previous year, but, clearly as that cohort of students move on, it will happen that some clubs close (as the enthusiasts that ran it graduate and leave) but there is no guarantee a particular club will run 2 years later. What you can do is ask the students there on the open day details about your particular interest, or about how many teams there are in a particular sport.

What are you talking about CVs for ?
An employer isn't really interested if you played dodgeball with your mates at University.
Of course, they might be interested in some of the skills you've gained in setting up and running a club / team - which all students are able to do.

Trying to be practical can she join a different type of club if she’s insistent there are no sports options? How about one of the political societies or a crafting one or an environmental one or a film society or a music one etc. If it’s a top university it will have literally dozens and dozens of options. My friends dd chose her 5 potential universities based on whether they had a Taylor Swift society. Surprisingly most did!

I can't quite understand why the fact that more people go to University would make it harder to make friends? I was the in the first generation of my family to go to University in the early 1980s and both on my course and in my hall I was very much in the minority as an ex comprehensive school working class student. I felt distinctly out of place at first and would have been a lot happier if there had been a wider range of people to mix with.
I think that lots of people are trying to make the point that the idea that everything instantly falls into place is unrealistic and that most people do have to work at it, step outside their comfort zones and put effort into building relationships. Never mind sharing a flat with strangers in first year, as was common at my University at the time, I had to share a room with a complete stranger with whom I didn't have a lot in common. Very few people I knew hit it off instantly with their room mates but most learned to get along ok and had each other's backs after a while. But it took time and effort - nothing magic happened to make us best buddies then any more than it happens now.
Things have changed a lot since then it's true, but people are fundamentally the same surely? It seems highly unlikely that there is nobody at all at the OP's DC's University that would like to befriend them or that there are absolutely no activities in or out of the University that would interest them. Posters have made a variety of potentially helpful suggestions of things that the student could do to help themselves but the OP seems fixated on the idea that all this is the responsibility of the University. And ok, maybe they could do better, but students are to at least some degree masters of their own fate too.

Agree @MrsAvocet

I simply meant there are more kids who go so a much wider type of personality.

anyway the overall point was that they might not immediately find people who are similar to them. In DCs first year corridor they have 2 overseas students who only socialise amongst themselves and speak little English, one older fourth year who doesn’t mix with the first years, one who DC would refer to as a “jock” very loud, very sporty spends a lot of time out with the footballers and comes back with mates and trashes the kitchen, one trans child with some very significant mental health issues who mainly wants to talk about the fact that they are trans and how persecuted they are, one who I think would be described as “emo” who is also a gamer and mainly stays in their room, one who goes home every single weekend, one who has a group of friends from school at the same university so mixes mainly with them.

it’s taken effort to go out and find other people - mainly through societies.

You’re right about the going out, because for each of those people there are hundreds of others like them. Societies are a brilliant way to connect with people, it’s worth saying that you don’t have to join at the beginning of the year, you can join at any point. Some people think they’ve missed the boat if they don’t join in September and they really haven’t

it’s taken effort to go out and find other people - mainly through societies

I would have thought that they would meet people on the same course too.

Which uni? All this I know have " fun" sports clubs not just elite.

Bath was 'Times university of the year' last year, has a 50m pool, has a high-profile elite athlete programme (incl. swimming, triathlon). A lot of the facilities use will be prioritised for the competitive and Olympic athletes, the paying clubs in the local area, local elite sportspeople, paying customers etc.

Interestingly, it performed very badly on the Guardian student satisfaction during the lockdown/pandemic years (down in the rankings below number 50 on list), despite scoring highly in other respects and maybe has improved since then. There was also some bad publicity about how students joining in Sept. 2022 were still being taught mainly online, the course in the news was Economics, but it may have applied to others. It is also in a relatively isolated self-contained location, and first years on campus might feel little connection with the town, which would affect community involvement.

Of course, I may be wrong and maybe it's something less obviously 'top' which might include e.g. Surrey, which also has a 50m pool. It is less isolated, and the sports vibe is not as 'elite' imho.

Loneliness is not a problem to be minimised. People take it seriously when older people are affected, but not so much when younger people are affected. Severe loneliness can also aggravate social anxiety and make it even harder to get out and join in, which some people don't appreciate. It's hard when everyone else seems to have a big circle of friends and having a wonderful time. This is incredibly isolating. OP mentions a waiting list for counselling. There are other more immediate sources of help - telephone helplines and online chat can help. The uni will most likely have a support line run by students, which might feel more approachable. Then there is studentminds, youngminds, etc.

Bath was 'Times university of the year' last year

This just shows how confusing all the various university ranking tables are. When I looked it was Anglia Ruskin in 2023. At least, that was in the Times Higher Education Awards.

I don't think a university can be reasonably expected to provide something like this.

This student wants a league for a particular sport at the exact right level for them. Maybe another student wants a film club that focuses the films of a certain director. A third student wants a gluten-free cooking club and a fourth wants a society that combines feminism and crafting. All of these things would be nice to have. They may be beneficial for the mental health of those who take part. But a uni cannot create a tailored program of extracurriculars to suit the wishes of each of its thousands of young people. It's not an elite summer camp.

Once people are at university, they need to take some responsibility for their own entertainment. In this case, it's going to mean either starting their own sports league at a level appropriate to them or joining in another activity that's more accessible. It may mot be exactly what they want, but it's not a bad idea to learn that wanting something doesn't necessarily mean you get it.

@TrouseredTed very enlighten post. It certainly puts things into perspective about uni life which I did not realise.
yes to other posters it is upto YP ultimately, but mumsnet is also shared wisdom for supporting YP as well.

And there alot invested