Salary drop for less boring job

[MalmuteMaggie]

I'll try to keep this short.
DH and I have no children, we have both always worked full-time, but he has historically earned about double what I do, in a much more stressful job, with expected long hours of unpaid overtime. He paid a bigger share of bills etc in line with our salary differences. Because we both worked full-time we have taken equal responsibility for household tasks (though he is more fussy than me so chooses to clean a lot mire than I deem necessary, he also loves to cook).

Last year we moved to a more affordable area so that he could change career as he was getting burnout. This meant he could reduce his salary and we now both work full-time, earn roughly the same (40k ish each), take equal responsibilty for bills, and his stress is far better.

However (here is my aibu) - my job is really dull and I've seen something I think I'd like to try. But, the salary is a drop of about 14k (still full-time) - which would mean dh being the main earner again.

I've spoken to my sister and she thinks aibu because dh wouldn't be able to afford the "luxury" of dropping his salary for a job he liked more as we would be relying on him maintaining his earnings. She also thinks it is unfair of me to decide to "throwaway" our chance to save for a better retirement. But I think DH has had a chance to take a salary drop, so why shouldn't I?
We would have to forfeit foreign holidays and treats , but I'm happy to do so for a chance at doing something new. But aibu and am I (as my sister says) being selfish?

It depends if you're likely to remain on that salary for years or it's an entry level salary and there's good potential for you to work your way up and earn more. My DH changed careers last year and took a pay cut to do so. I was the higher earner at the time and still am, but now he's fully qualified he has the opportunity to be a contractor and will earn a lot more, over double my salary. So it was worth the sacrifice in the long run and he's now in a job he really loves.

It sounds absolutely ridiculous to me OP, £5k maybe, but £14K ? In this climate?!? Absolute madness.

I get that £40k to £26k is a big drop, but I'm amazed by all the people saying £26k is a shit salary. Do people not realise that is a really normal salary in many parts of the country? Not everyone is in London on 6 figures

Would your employer put you through the relevant courses to become more qualified? Or could you fund this yourself? Do an online course or night school.

You are talking about dropping to within £1k of minimum wage come april.

You are going to really fuck your career up and when you get bored of unfulfilling shop work, you'll have a hell of a time getting your salary back to where your current salary is. Plus by the time that happens, your £40k will be worth less because your spending power will have been eroded.

I know it's a rat run, but more money is normally better than less. Why don't you consider retraining in order to find a well paid job in a better paying industry instead?

Oh and tell you what, why don't you up your pension contributions for 3 months to a level that brings your take home pay down to the equivalent of a £26kpa salary. See how you get on. That way, you keep the money and get to experience the dubious enjoyment of the concept of being skint.

*rat race, not rat run! 😆

It's practically minimum wage though, the very least legal amount an employer could pay. So whilst it's manageable in some parts of the country it's literally the bare minimum.

I agree it’s a big drop and OP shouldn’t do it. But after April if OP works 40 hours it will still be 2.2k over minimum wage, so it’s not literally the bare minimum. It’s quite a normal wage in plenty of job roles, just not one OP should drop to.

In the current climate, a drop of £14k is huge. I personally wouldn't. Or could you drop to the lower salary and do a side hustle that would make up the difference?

You moved Area and dh took
A pay cut. Surely you can too? What's the problem?

It's not that we don't realise that. It's that we know it's not a good amount to be surviving on with everything going on right now. Particularly when you are able to earn significantly more.

The average full time salary in the North East where I live, which is the lowest earning part of the country, is £31,200. I’d say more than £5k below the average in the poorest area of the country is really quite low. Unless OP works part time, but I haven’t read a post that suggests she does.

I have just had a look at full time jobs on Indeed in Somerset (where I live)

Carpenter - from £22,500 pa
Maintenance team leader - £23,858 pa
Caravan sales advisor - £25,000
Early years practitioner - £23,000 pa

There are also multiple administrator jobs for below £25k. So clearly around here £26000 is not a bad wage compared to a lot of jobs

Your dp spent years earning well in a stressful job and you benefited. It's your turn now.
You seem to be consistently pulling the relationship down materially, if I were your DP I would find that draining.

misses point of thread similar income, no kids & we never seem to be able to afford holidays now. Any tips? I always wonder if I'm looking in the wrong place for hols or being too picky. Desperate for some sun. Would you mind sharing approx budget for hols? 😎

You said you think you might like it, so not certain how it’d pan out. How about you figure out what stimulates and fulfills you and what better paid jobs you can get to meet your needs, then figure out if you need to complete some training/ studies etc. this way you can be fulfilled and not have to sacrifice money/freedom for it.

@Turtlerunner we probably put aside about £350ish a month (out of around £3700 income) for holidays including UK minibreaks each year. The last couple have just been Spain for 6 nights in October half term. 2022 was £1200 for a gorgeous apartment in central Barcelona and £800ish flights from our local airport. Last year prices were up a bit so £2600 to a Costa del Sol type place. Budget an additional £100 a day for food, have breakfast and lunch in apartment and then eat out / get takeaway for dinner - don't drink alcohol and usually would only have 1 or 2 courses. Sunday to Saturday or Monday to Sunday with good flight times (to get the full day each end) always way cheaper than Sat - Sat. I spent probably 10 hours in total trying different combinations to get what we wanted in 2023, went through On the Beach in the end. Remember we are restricted to school holidays so it's pricey.

We often do short caravan type breaks in this country too - we book via a site called 2cholidays.co.uk and never pay more than £100 a night for a nice van with heating etc even in August school hols. If non-caravan UK holidays then Wales and Yorkshire are loads cheaper than Cornwall or Norfolk.

This year we are all getting the Eurostar to Paris in May half term, I booked on the day the fares came out and it's costing about £400 return (obviously other bits are extra, as it happens we are doing Disneyland which is an expensive treat!)

We don't do 2 weeks of luxury all inclusive but we certainly don't struggle or penny pinch while we're away.

Caveat - We do however live somewhere fairly cheap, have been together a long time so bought a starter house in 2009 and our fixed rate mortgage isn't timing out til 2025 so may all change then.

It's really shit that there are people on really good incomes who can't afford a nice lifestyle.