Salary drop for less boring job

[MalmuteMaggie]

I'll try to keep this short.
DH and I have no children, we have both always worked full-time, but he has historically earned about double what I do, in a much more stressful job, with expected long hours of unpaid overtime. He paid a bigger share of bills etc in line with our salary differences. Because we both worked full-time we have taken equal responsibility for household tasks (though he is more fussy than me so chooses to clean a lot mire than I deem necessary, he also loves to cook).

Last year we moved to a more affordable area so that he could change career as he was getting burnout. This meant he could reduce his salary and we now both work full-time, earn roughly the same (40k ish each), take equal responsibilty for bills, and his stress is far better.

However (here is my aibu) - my job is really dull and I've seen something I think I'd like to try. But, the salary is a drop of about 14k (still full-time) - which would mean dh being the main earner again.

I've spoken to my sister and she thinks aibu because dh wouldn't be able to afford the "luxury" of dropping his salary for a job he liked more as we would be relying on him maintaining his earnings. She also thinks it is unfair of me to decide to "throwaway" our chance to save for a better retirement. But I think DH has had a chance to take a salary drop, so why shouldn't I?
We would have to forfeit foreign holidays and treats , but I'm happy to do so for a chance at doing something new. But aibu and am I (as my sister says) being selfish?

The grades above mine require professional qualifications and I don't have the education background needed to get on the courses. I think I've reached where I can in my current job.

I reckon that you should keep looking - surely there's better paid jobs out there that you will enjoy. It would be too much of a drop for me.

We might be able to advise you better if you’re able to give a bit of info about your current role and the new one at £26k.

Life is too short to remain in a job that you find deathly boring, but there may be other options at similar salaries (or less of a drop). What makes you think the £26k will be better?

I'm in the process of changing my job because I'm bored to death in the current one so I feel your pain.

Although I'm not dropping my base salary I am increasing our childcare bill by £700 per month and creating the need for childcare in the school holidays that we don't currently need.

My friends think I'm nuts but my husband supports my decision so that's all that matters really.

I currently work for a law firm. The job I've seen is back in retail, which I loved. I just don't think I'm an office person.

Yes I think this too. It's surely not the case that there are only two jobs you can do. Find a middle ground.

Could you drop a day instead?

Dropping from £40 k to 26 will be quite dramatic! Is there nothing else in your pay band or sector that you could look at?
I dropped significantly a few years ago and tbh I’m struggling now and trying to get back to where I was financially.

That’s a fab idea, reduce your hours temporarily for a few months to see if that helps!

What does your DH think? Will you still be able to pay half the bills if you take the pay cut?

I really don’t think this is one for anyone except you and your partner - only the two of you know what you can afford and what your aspirations and priorities are.
Does the 26k job have much potential in terms of progression? Presumably you wouldn’t be on this salary forever.
I definitely don’t think the idea of reducing your salary to be happier is ridiculous, you just need to agree with your partner before actually going ahead with it.

It depends on your husband doesn’t it? He’s the only one who can say if he would be willing to take hit to his lifestyle because you’re bored in a job.

If DH was close to burn out, we’d take that hit and go without holidays for as long as it takes. However, if he was bored, probably not I’d ask him to look for meaning in other areas of his life. If he wanted to take that pay cut because he was bored but it had good career progression and was a temporary hit, then I’d go out without holidays for a few years. We’ve not had a holiday for a while so it’s fine but it’s not what I want indefinitely. Your husband might not be that bothered by holidays and just wants to see you happy so might give a totally different answer.

OP what MN thinks doesn't matter, You and your husband need to sit down and discuss your financial goals.
The main problem here I see it the tit for tat. You claim that your husband 'knew what he was getting into' because you had different earning capacity when you met. Yet here you are years later, earning the same amount. He even does more of the housework than you. Frankly if you were a man posting this you'd have gotten your arse handed to you.

Moving to a flat, to the other side of the country isn't necessarily a sacrifice unless one, and only one, of you had family ties that was difficult to leave. Why are you framing it as a personal sacrifice?

A boring job draining yes but not as much of an emergency as burnout or a toxic environment. If you don't like being in an office, retrain as something else instead of just going back to becoming a retail employee.

You could work for a small business, comms, commercial management etc there must be other opportunities out there.

Sounds absolutely insane. 14k is a lot. You'll have a lot less disposable each month and no guarantee the new job is less dull. Sounds like a mindset issue to me. It better be a fucking amazing job to drop pay by 35%. Absolutely needs to be a decision your partner supports actively.
You will be poorer in a testing economic environment.

Money doesn't buy happiness but it makes things a damn sight better and facilities things that make you happy. I earn very well in a tough job but we do everything and live life. Less cash less opportunities for fun.
If you're gunna move at least maintain you're earnings, Christ.
Hard no from me.

I'm all for taking a lower salary to get away from stress. It's very much a good move but I don't think it's the same as what he has done.

You're both on good incomes. £26k is not a good income - it's not far off min wage and is effectively halving your salary from a good salary to below average. I say this as someone who earns less than both of you but would only drop to 26k if I absolutely had to.

He halved his salary but still has a fairly good income.

Will there be progress in this new role?

You have given up a lot for him but i think perhaps you feel like you've drawn a short straw and this somehow makes it even?

You'd be eaeming the same as a teenager in an entry level job, do you really think that's fair after all this time of being heavily subsidised by your husband? I'd be beyond furious if I was him.
Find a new job that pays more than peanuts if you're bored sure, but don't take the piss.

You would be insane to take that salary drop, unless there is a massive drip feed that it is an apprenticeship or training role that will lead to better prospects.

The stuff about your DH is a red herring it is daft to willingly take that kind of drop.

You don't have to stick with your current job though. What about a step up or sideways or retraining into something else more interesting with good prospects.

It isn't just giving up holidays now, it is the impact on your pension and ability to save or move too.

A teenager would be doing well to earn 26k! It’s above average for retail/hospitality jobs. I don’t think OP should take the drop but it’s hardly minimum wage or kid salary

Boredom at work is incredibly stressful. Every day feels like a week. I’ve been there and sympathise but there must be something more interesting that doesn’t involve such a big drop in salary. You’ve already had one big decrease in lifestyle @MalmuteMaggie, are you sure you want another?

Is it worth exploring the possibility of whether or not you feel any resentment towards your OH for his salary drop, having to move areas, and also into a smaller abode?

Is there no possibility of a less boring job which pays closer to your current salary? £26k is not much more than minimum wage, would there be opportunity to progress or increase that within a reasonable timeframe?

Also, worth considering that lower paid jobs often have less flexibility and worse working hours/days.

It's £2.2k above min wage for a 40 hour week from 1st April.

No. From April minimum wage for an 18-20 year old doing 40 hours a week will be £17888.

Hhmm thanks everyone. I might not even get the job if I went for it I guess, but also the seed is planted in my head now so maybe it's the kick I need to start looking in earnest rather than casually.